Return to The Farm
by fangirl1982
Summary: Set about five years into the future. Don't own a thing and I'm an improvrished student, so it's not worth suing me over anyway.
1. Chapter 1

_Set just over 5 years after the end of the series, in 2015. And even though it's set in the future, I have no idea who the Prime Minister is in 2015 or what the popular children's books are, which is why it stands at Kevin Rudd and Harry Potter._

"You should come over for dinner. A friend of Brad's is coming over," Julia Walker (nee Croft) said to her friend Gabrielle Jaeger as they sat on the porch of the homestead of the Jaeger family farm, drinking coffee and chewing the fat.

Gabrielle made a face. "Another one of his Flying Doctor mates that you're trying to set me up with?" she asked, not needing Julia to answer. She, her husband Brad and her brother Paul had been trying to set her up since she had returned home to the farm she shared with her brother Ben three years ago. Gabrielle had resisted all attempts at matchmaking. Not only did none of the men take her fancy, but she resented what she saw as their pity project. She was well aware that as a single mother in her thirties, and hardly a knockout at that, men weren't exactly knocking down her door – especially not in a place like this, where it was quite possible to set off in any direction and walk for days without running into another human being. The ratio of animals to humans here was about a thousand to one, if not more.

So men weren't exactly thick on the ground, and what men there were wanted something better than a plain-Jane single mother in her thirties – even one who held half-interest in a very profitable farm and held down a job as Nurse Matron of the small hospital (more of a clinic than a hospital). Gabrielle had accepted it, and tried to be as dignified as she could about it – few women in her position _never_ had moments of bitterness from time to time – and didn't want to suffer through endless dates set up for her by friends who meant well but tended to feel sorry for her because she wasn't married. Didn't even have a boyfriend. Was on her way to becoming a certified spinster, if you believed some people.

"Not interested," she said, slightly distracted as she kept an eye on her four-year-old son, Russel, racing around the front yard with his dog.

"But this guy's special," Julia insisted.

"They _all_ are," Gabrielle pointed out.

"Yeah – but this guy's _extra_ special. Look, leave Russel with Ben and Caitlin and come to dinner with us. It will be fun, I promise."

Gabrielle agreed, more to get Julia off her back than anything. "Wait, what's his name?" Gabrielle asked as Julia down the driveway to her car to head home and get dinner ready.

Julia spun around and flashed Gabrielle a brilliant, mischievous smile. "You'll find out," she said.

* * *

Jack Quade was bloody sick of his friend and colleague Brad Walker trying to set him up. He appreciated the effort Brad went to but he wasn't the dating type. He worked FIFO, and he didn't have a place he was settled at for his weeks off – he tended to spend them visiting his sister and friends in Sydney, or visiting places that had been recommended by patients, colleagues and friends alike. He had seen much of the eastern states that way, and he enjoyed his semi-nomadic lifestyle. He had spent the first ten years of his adult life buckling down and committing to some vague plan to move up the ladder of Sydney's medical community, and he had enjoyed spending the last five going where he pleased and doing a lot to help people who _didn't_ live in a major metropolis. His semi-nomadic lifestyle meant he didn't have the means to commit to a proper relationship. To be sure, he had connections here and there, women he had a good camaraderie with who almost always had time for him when he was in town. Why would he want anything else.

"I'm busy," he had said when Brad had suggested Jack spend his week off with him, his wife Julia and their two girls at their farm near the Victorian border.

"Doing what? Hooking up with one of your casuals?" Brad asked. Jack had shrugged at that; it was none of Brad's business, and more importantly, it wasn't like he was hurting anyone. Every woman he was involved with knew what the score was. He had witnessed how his father's compulsive infidelity had destroyed the lives of everyone around him, and he had vowed never to do that to someone. Playing the field was fine, but if you were going to commit to someone, you committed to them, that was the end of it.

And there hadn't been many women in his life he had felt he could commit to. Two, in fact. And both of them had been hung up on their exes. He smiled at that. What had it been about him that he was drawn to women who were in love with other men?

In the end, Jack had agreed to meet this friend of Brad and Julia's, largely because he had nothing better to do. The people he usually caught up with in Sydney were otherwise occupied this particular week, and there was nowhere he had his heart set on visiting. Spending a week with a family would be a change of pace.

So here he was. Once upon a time, he would have been surprised that the house was so, well, _modern_. Once upon a time, he had had this image in his head that any property this far outside the city limits would be some wooden building like what you saw in _The Man From Snowy River_. "Yeah, we have this newfangled thing called electricity, too," Brad had joked when Jack had confessed his ignorance.

But that had been over five years ago. He had long come to realise that rural areas were far more modern than he had thought they would be, although they were still desperately lacking in the technology and infrastructure that he had taken for granted in Sydney.

Not that he regretted leaving Sydney. He had been back, briefly, and knowing that there were so many people out there who wouldn't have access to facilities like what he had been used to without people like the Flying Doctors had chafed at his conscience until Luke had ordered him back to whatever hole in the ground he had come from, because he was clearly happier there.

Ha, him, Jack Quade, Sydney boy born and bred, happier in isolated communities and with the Flying Doctors than he was at a major city hospital like All Saints. Even funnier that the VMO who had once begged a scrub nurse to sew his mouth shut now looked upon him like a kid brother.

God, how things had changed in six years. Ten, if you counted the time from when he had started All Saints to now.

"You came," Brad said when he opened the door, as if surprised.

"I do keep my promises, even if they're cajoled out of me," Jack said.

Brad invited him in and walked him through the house. "This is my wife, Julia," he said, introducing Jack to an attractive woman in her early thirties. "And this is – " he started to introduce their other guest.

"I know who she is," Jack said, slightly startled at seeing her. The first thing he noticed was how fit she looked. She had always been in good shape, but apparently having half-interest in a working farm meant she spent a lot of time outdoors, moving stuff around. She looked more toned and tanned then he remembered her being. _Gabrielle Jaeger_. His best mate, once upon a time, and someone he had thought about occasionally as more than just being a friend – but he had been wary of getting involved with her, and he had ended up being right. He wondered if Russel looked like Steve. The little boy would be four now, Jack realised. He had never met Russel so he didn't think of him visually. Actually, he hardly thought of him at all. Or Gabrielle. He found it easier that way. Easier not to think about how easily he could have crumbled when she was sobbing in his arms and begging for his comfort. Easy not to think about h he could have gotten his heart broken over someone who clearly wasn't over her ex.

"Hi," he said.

Gabrielle looked him over. He looked better than when she had seen him last, even though he was actually six years older. He seemed much more at ease with himself - something had knocked his city boy snobbishness out of him, and it suited him. He looked like his svelte figure came from actual physical labour as opposed to sweating it out at the gym. She hadn't seen him in over six years, and she knew that was largely her fault. She also knew he had been angry with her at the time, and she wondered if he still was. "Hi," she parroted him.

"You look good," he said.

"So do you."

"You know each other?" Brad asked.

"All Saints," Jack said. He couldn't stop looking at Gabrielle. "She was the only person who could handle the head of department. We managed to go through five NUMs in less than a year before her."

"Sounds just like Gabby," Julia piped up, her eyes sparkling, and not only because it _did_ sound just like Gabrielle to be able to handle someone where five people before her had failed. (Actually, it was only four, because Jack had been counting Nelson twice.) There was also the fact that there was some serious chemistry between Gabrielle and Jack. Julia tried to remember what Gabrielle had told her all those years ago. She remembered Gabrielle saying something about a friend she had who she was close to – and who Steve couldn't stand. Julia remembered that because she had never been able to stand Steve either, and had wanted to smack Gabrielle when she decide for the _second_ time to reconcile with the guy. You'd think she would have learnt after the first reconciliation that it wasn't meant to be.

But that was then and this was now, and right now, she was sharing some _serious_ chemistry with a damn good-looking man.

"Sit down," Julia said, gesturing to the table where fresh bread was already prepared. Jack sat.

"You do look good," he said sincerely to Gabrielle. "Motherhood suits you." She had always had an authoritive, matronly look about her, and being a mother enhanced that.

"Thankyou," she said. "You seeing anyone?" she asked.

He shook his head ruefully. "With my work? I don't know how Brad manages it."

"Julia gets it. You do need to be pretty understanding. But I would have thought you'd already know that, it can't have been easy to juggle a relationship with being a surgeon."

"I didn't have a lot of relationships, remember?" Jack asked ruefully. Gabrielle nodded slightly. She was one of the few people who knew about the sexual abuse he had suffered as a teenager. It had crippled his ability to be in a healthy relationship, and he had made a lot of bad choices when it came to women. Jack caught her looking at him, and for a brief moment, he was transported to a time when they had been so close that he _could_ tell her things like that. "I have honest relationships, though," he said, and Gabrielle wasn't naive enough to not get that that meant a series of sexual relationships.

Strange how that made her feel a little jealous. After all, it wasn't like he had ever owed her fidelity. It wasn't like they had ever even slept together.

"So, what was it like, working with Gabrielle?" Julia asked over dinner. "Never had the privilege myself."

Instinctively – you didn't live with a person for the better part of the year without anticipating their sense of humour, even if it _was_ six years later – she knew what Jack was going to say, and flashed her eyes in his direction. He ignored her. "On her first day, she told me if I laid a finger on her she'd have me up on harassment charges before I could take my next breath."

Julia nearly spat out her food at that. "I'm sorry?" she asked, intrigued.

"He acts like he wasn't to blame at all," Gabrielle teased, finding herself slipping back into the easygoing camaraderie she and Jack had shared years ago. "He'd dated _two_ of my processors, both of which ended badly – I had people coming up to me for a _month_ telling me to steer clear of him."

"Seems you took their advice," Julia said drily.

"He's a sweetheart behind the reputation," Gabrielle said. She smiled at him, and was relieved when he smiled back.

Julia was smiling inwardly, too. She had only just found out from Brad that Jack and Gabrielle went way back; Brad had worked it out weeks ago and had since been trying to convince Jack to come to dinner. It probably would have been easier just to come clean. _Or then again, maybe not_, she thought. Gabrielle was extremely proud and stubborn, and may have resisted Julia's efforts to set her up even stronger had she known. Besides, something had clearly happened between the two of them that they hadn't kept in touch for several years – since shortly after Russel had been born, from what Julia could gleam. Maybe it had been for the best that they hadn't known they were being set up with one another.

But here they were, getting along well. Julia was pleased. She wanted Gabrielle to find someone who appreciated her, and even now, after all the time that had separated them, she and Jack had something special that she had never had with Steve.

"Where are you staying?" Gabrielle asked as the night drew to a close. She found herself reluctant to go home. She had forgotten how much fun she could have with Jack. No one had ever gotten her the way she did – not even Steve.

"Here, with the Walkers," Jack said.

"Then that practically makes you a neighbour for the week," Gabrielle said, although there was nearly fifty kilometres between the Walker house in the centre of Widgee and the Jaeger farm that made up the farming community that Widgee serviced. "Why don't you come over for lunch sometime? Meet Russel?"

It was on the tip of Jack's tongue to say no, that he had no interest in meeting the brat that was the end result of the relationship with Steve, a man who anyone but her could have told her was no good for her. But he knew that was childish, and that he would feel bad if he told her now. "Sure," he said. "How's tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow sounds good," she said, mentally going over everything she had in the pantry. She would have to make more bread. Thankgod, it was the weekend and she could get up early to cook. "Brad will give you the address. Actually, it might be easier if Brad just _takes_ you there. Non-country people don't seem to get just how far it is."

"I've been working with the Flying Doctors for three years now, I _do_ have some idea of distance," he said. But his eyes were twinkling and they both knew she hadn't been making fun of him _too_ seriously.

"Great," she said. "I can't wait for you to meet Russel." _And I can't wait to talk to you properly_, she added silently. It had been great, spending time with him, Brad and Julia as a foursome, but what she _really_ wanted to do was talk to Jack one-on-one, catch up with everything that had happened in the last six years – or, more specifically, the last four. They had lost touch abruptly shortly after Russel's birth, and she knew that was her fault. She wanted to tell him so, wanted to say that if she could do it again, she would never have made the choice she had.

* * *

It didn't take long for Russel to be looking at Jack with absolute adoration. He had that affect on kids. "How do you know all those stories?" Gabrielle asked after Russel went to play in the back yard. "Ben and I don't have a _clue_ what little boys like."

"Neither does Adam," Jack said a touch smugly. "Me, I read everything I could get my hands on as soon as I was old enough to read. Any children's or young adult books published before two thousand I can list off the top of my head. I lost track after _Harry Potter_, but Zach isn't old enough to know that."

"You keep up with Charlotte and Adam?" Gabrielle asked excitedly. "And Zach? How are they? Sorry," she added when Jack looked at her quizzically, clearly thinking that Gabrielle should have kept up with them herself, given she was quite close to Charlotte. "I didn't keep in touch with anyone after I left Sydney. Things were so hectic with Russel and the new clinic and – " she shrugged helplessly, not wanting to admit that a fair chunk of it had also been that Steve, who had never liked the city, hadn't wanted Gabrielle to waste time and effort on her Sydney friends that could be spent on him, Russel and the clinic.

Jack figured that out for himself, but didn't say anything. "They got married two years ago. It was beautiful – Zach was the ring-bearer – my God, he looks so much like Charlotte, those cheeky blond good looks. And Adam's devoted to him."

"I got that impression," Gabrielle said. She knew Charlotte and Adam had been involved the last time she had heard, although how involved she had never found out. So they were married. She felt a twinge of guilt. She wondered if Charlotte had sent her an invitation to the clinic. Steve wasn't the most reliable when it came to passing on the odd bit of mail that came for her there. "I always thought he'd make a good dad. Often – " she stopped abruptly, realising what she had said.

"The ones from abusive childhoods _do_?" Jack offered. Gabrielle nodded sheepishly. "It's OK. I happen to agree. At least when they're willing to deal with it. And yeah, he does make a good dad. He's even humble enough not to get caught up in the crap about kids not being your own if they aren't you're flesh and blood."

"Do you see them often?"

"Once every few months. I'll probably see them on my next week off. You should come up to Sydney sometime, actually."

Gabrielle thought longingly of her friendship with Charlotte, then reminded herself of the reality. "Thanks, but I have the farm on top of a fulltime job _and_ Russel," she said. "Are Charlotte and Adam still at All Saints?"

"Yeah. Actually, Frank resigned two years ago and Charlotte became the head of department. Made Adam 2IC, which pissed Bart right off. He lodged a complaint with admin about it, claiming it was nepotism. What he didn't realise was that Charlotte had handed the choice over to admin for that exact reason – Adam was far and away the best qualified for the position, but she couldn't just hand the job to her husband."

"Sounds like Bart," Gabrielle said drily. She had often found Frank's favouritism of Bart maddening. Anyone else would have been fired half a dozen times over for acting the way he had. And his relationship with Amy seemed to just make him even _more_ secure in his position in Frank's affections. "What happened?"

"Bart had been pissing off admin for a while, and making this big deal about being passed over in favour of someone with seniority, more experience and his fellowship didn't exactly endear him to them. He quit soon after that. Last I heard, he was at Royal Perth. From what Charlotte understood, his marriage was really rocky so maybe he figured it was time to cut his losses and leave. Hell, for all I know, he actually found a boss who didn't make allowances for him and he's grown a bit."

Gabrielle laughed at that. While Bart had always had the best intentions, he also had a deep sense of entitlement born of a privileged life. His way was always the right way and nothing was ever so important as what he wanted. Blabbing a patient's details to his wife or getting involved with a patient were prime examples of this. "He and Amy split up?" she asked.

"Didn't surprise me. The two of them were two peas in a pod." Two entitled people who got on amazingly so long as they wanted the same thing, but when they started to diverge...

"I didn't realise you knew Amy that well."

"I went out with her once," Jack said.

"Really? You never told me that!" Gabrielle said.

"Yeah, like I was going to admit that I wasted an entire evening on that vapid, entitled princess. All night it was yap, yap, yap about her awesomeness and all the great things she did for the world that she didn't actually know anything about. I wasn't surprised to find out that she and Bart had married."

"You were never a fan of Bart, were you?" Gabrielle asked.

"It wasn't that I didn't like him, exactly – more that I couldn't relate to his privileged upbringing. Not just coming from a family with a bit of money, but being so sheltered and indulged to a point he thought nothing of some of the stuff he did. When you've spent two years of your life being raped and you're entire childhood being smacked around by a step-mother who hated you, you don't have a lot of patience for people who think not starting out their careers in their dream job is calamity. Amy was very much the same. So I wasn't surprised that they got married, and I wasn't surprised that it didn't take long for two people like that to self-implode before too long."

Gabrielle nodded. Jack had said it perfectly. She wondered what he thought of her own ever-ruinous relationship with Steve, then decided it was best not too ask. "So you've been working for the Flying Doctors all this time?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Only for three years. I travelled, went to Europe and South America, did some work in a rural community for a year – similar to the clinic you were telling me about, actually – then I ended up at All Saints for six months as the Head of Trauma."

Gabrielle spat out her tea at that point, because last she had known, Bianca Frost had been the Head of Trauma at All Saints, and she and Jack had hated each other's guts. Actually, _Bianca_ had hated _Jack_, and Jack largely tried to avoid her. It had stemmed from a minor slight at uni that Bianca had held onto for years. "I'm sorry, what happened to – "

"Bianca Frost?" Jack asked, his eyes glittering. Four years after the fact, he was yet to get sick of retelling the story of Bianca's downfall. Gabrielle nodded. "Years ago – like, ten years – when Bianca was still just a resident and before she was married, she had a major clash with one of the nurses, Paula Morgan. Ostensibly she made this big deal about Paula being a single mother leeching of the system and a bad mum because her son Max acted like such a brat at times – it actually turned out that Max had undiagnosed ADHD – but what it was actually about was them both being interested in the same surgeon. Surgeon choice Paula, they got married and he accepted a position in the US, except, whoops, that surgeon was – is – Luke Forlano."

Gabrielle gasped and clapped her hand to her mouth. "You're kidding me," she said. She hadn't kept up with the movers and shakers of Sydney's medical community, but even _she_ had heard of Luke Forlano, who had taken Mike Vlasek's position as Head of Surgery after Mike had retired and taken up teaching. And Bianca Frost had earned the wrath of his wife, and in turn, Luke. "I always knew that woman would piss off the wrong person one day," she said gleefully. "I didn't realise you knew Luke Forlano."

"I didn't. Or at least, hardly. He left soon after I started my residency and quite frankly, he couldn't stand me. Once asked a scrub nurse to sew my mouth shut. Can't say I really blame him, I was pretty stuck up back then. It was Mike who recommended me."

"And he took his advice?"

"Think he was too in awe of him _not_ to. Come to think of it, I was too in awe of not to accept – and I liked the idea of being close to Bec again. And since I'd gotten over myself somewhat, Luke and I ended up getting really well." Jack looked off distantly for a second, remembering. "He's a Christian Brothers boy, and has this uncanny knack for sensing when someone had been sexually abused. Or at least, he did with me. He was one of the first people I could talk to who really _got_ it. It turned out we had a hell of a lot in common." Same working class backgrounds, same hypocritical Catholic upbringing, same high intelligence and deep ambition. Or at least, Jack had _once_ shared that deep ambition. What had been ambition had since been honed into a strong sense of community obligation. Once he had been exposed to the lack of facilities outside big cities, he hadn't been able to forget it, and eventually Luke had gotten fed up with him hanging out with the Flying Doctors as they airlifted patients in and told him to go back to whatever hole he had come from, since he was clearly happier there. "That's how I met Brad, actually. It didn't take much to convince me that I would be more fulfilled with the Flying Doctors than at All Saints, and that was three years ago. Growing up, I never thought I'd be in a job like this, and now I can't see myself doing anything else."

He sounded so happy, so settled despite the fact that he _wasn't_ settled anywhere. He seemed a lot more at peace with himself. "I'm happy for you," she said, not realising she had said it out loud.

"Thanks."

So Frank had retired – to go to Europe to see more of his daughter like he had always threatened, Gabrielle assumed – and Von had moved to a retirement home where, according to Jack, she ruled with as much of an iron first as she had when she had been at All Saints. "She's having a ball there," Jack said. "I tag along with Adam sometimes and she still acts like I'm this annoying little shit chasing after Terri, but I think she appreciates it." Gabrielle smiled indulgently at that. It sounded very much like Von.

And Charlotte was head of the Department now – and got on remarkably well with Zoe Gallagher, in a friendly-professional-rivals kind of way, now that they were on equal footing with one another – with Adam as her 2IC. The only other person who Jack had known when he left still there was Claire, although with a few proffered details, he could recognise Elliot. Paula Forlano was the ED's NUM – "And she does it well, but it's easy to do it well when you don't have to work with Frank," Jack added loyally. Gabrielle struggled to imagine such a different ED, one without all the people she had been so familiar with – Frank – Von – Mike – Bart. "It must be so different," she said. "I can't imagine things not being just as I left them."

"We tend to do that. It's hard to think of people you knew for so long moving on with their lives just because you're not there."

There was a note to his voice that reminded Gabrielle that they hadn't seen each other for six years – and that that was mostly her fault. There had been a time where they had known each other's lives on a day-to-day basis – and now so much had changed. She would never have imagined him working for the Flying Doctors. But then, she had never imagined _herself_ being a single mother. "Jack, about what happened with us – " she started.

He waved her away. "It doesn't matter anymore," he said good-naturedly.

"I thought I was making the right decision," she tried to explain.

"I know. I was angry at the time, but I get it now. I think I'd have done the same thing in your position."

"Bullshit," Gabrielle said. "You never would have let some woman make ultimatums like that."

"Yeah... OK. Honestly, I never understood why you let him make you choose like that. If he really loved you... oh, sorry," he said, realising he'd put his foot in it.

"It's OK. You don't need to be nice about it. Steve should have been secure enough to know that we were just mates. _I_ should have been less of a doormat and told him not to be so insecure about it."

"What happened, if you don't mind me asking?" Jack asked, his voice soft and interested, and Gabrielle understood that he truly didn't hold a grudge for the shabby way she had treated him and their friendship when Steve had informed her that if she wanted them to work as a family, she had to stop being friends with 'that interfering prick who thinks he's better than everyone else'. Steve went to great pains not to refer to Jack by name.

"It wasn't meant to be. Too much water under the bridge – I could never wholly trust him. And after Russel was born, he just wasn't attracted to me sexually. I think he has something of a Madonna/whore complex – once I'd had his baby, I was this non-sexual deity to be worshipped from a meter away. It didn't stop him looking at other women, of course, and after a year he admitted that if we kept on as we were, he would end up straying. So we broke up and I ended up back here."

"I'm sorry," Jack said sincerely.

"It's not your fault." What was it about Jack that he had more empathy than the people who had done the wrong thing by her? She had forgotten that about him. "I guess I could be grateful. Better that than we married like he wanted to and ended up cheating on me again."

"How come you didn't get married?" Jack asked. "Steve always struck me as very traditional about stuff like that."

"He is. He wanted to get married. Something kept holding me back. Guess it was my own instinct."

"Does Steve have much to do with Russel?" Jack asked.

"He sends money when he remembers – sees Russel less frequently. He has a new girlfriend who's a fair bit younger than him – twenty-one, I think – and I get the impression that she doesn't like having Russel around to remind her how old Steve was." Gabrielle shrugged. She had long ago accepted that Steve would make what effort he deemed fit whenever the hell he felt like it. "I could do worse."

"You could do better. _I'd_ never treat you like that."

She smiled indulgently at him. "Of course you wouldn't. But I've never known anyone who loved kids the way you do. I bet Adam had a fight on his hands when he tried to claim his place as Zach's father-figure."

Jack poked his tongue out rather than admit that she wasn't far off from the truth. But hey, since neither Charlotte or Adam had any brothers, Zach was in need of an uncle-figure. "How do you feel about it?" he asked, and they both knew he meant about Steve calling and end to their relationship and having little to do with Russel.

"I was angry," she admitted. "I was so pissed off – I hadn't wanted to have Russel in the first place, and I let myself be drawn into the dream he had of us being this family and running a little community clinic and living happily ever after. I never would have had him if not for Steve's convincing. And then he called it off and I was a single mother and I was _so angry_ at him. But then I realised I was angry at him for giving me Russel, and it seemed like such an ungrateful thing to be angry over. He's my world, even if I didn't want him in the beginning," she said, looking over at Russel, who was cycling his tricycle around the yard.

"You really love him," he commented. He knew that look only too well. Paula and Luke, Charlotte and Adam, even his own sister – he knew that look, and it made him a little jealous.

"Yeah," she said, and in that moment, he couldn't remember her looking that happy. For all that Steve had put her through the wringer, she was obviously the happiest that he had ever known her for having Russel. "I realise now that Steve and I weren't meant to be, but I wouldn't give Russel up for anything."

"It took you twenty years to work out that you guys weren't meant to be?" Jack teased.

"Haha. Actually, a lot of it was about you." Jack looked puzzled. He had disliked Steve heartily on sight, but never thought of himself in terms of a factor in Gabrielle and Steve's relationship. Well, apart from the time that she had kissed him to make Steve jealous. "Oh, Steve's from a time and place where he only understands that men and women can love each other in two ways; either as family, like Ben and I, or a couple, like he and I. He couldn't grasp that I could love you as a friend, so he defaulted to couple-love. He was never the most secure of men when he was sober – you don't have to look at me like that, I know he could be incredibly overconfident at times, but a lot of that was to overcompensate for the loss of security that alcohol gave him – but there was something about our friendship that drove him batshit. It was why he gave me that ultimatum. He wouldn't have given a shit if we were talking about, say, Frank or Adam. There was always this part of him that was convinced we had slept together."

"And you didn't set him straight?"

"I did, at least I tried, but – and this goes back to what I was saying about the place and time he comes from – he just didn't get that we could be close and live together and have nothing happen."

Jack decided not to mention the night they had found out about Erica's murder, when she had sobbed in his arms and would have let him do whatever he wanted - had _wanted_ him to do it, in fact.

Gabrielle tried not to think about the night they had found out about Erica's murder, where he had gently but firmly told her that if she kept throwing herself at him he would be forced to leave her to her own grief. Funny how she hadn't thought of that particular detail in ages. It seemed to make Steve's actions in similar circumstances seem – well, a little unsavoury. She found herself wondering how different things might have been had it been Jack who had been there for her when her father had died...

"You OK?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, fine."

"You seemed – not quite here."

She smiled brightly. She didn't feel like thinking about what might have been when Jack was here and she was enjoying herself. "C'mon, I think I have some leftover apple pie in the fridge," she said. She knew it was Jack's favourite and she knew she had some, because she had made it first thing this morning.

* * *

"I can't believe how much Russel has taken to him," Ben said a few days later. It had seemed perfectly natural that Jack move from the Walker house to the Jaeger homestead when he was pleading lifts from Brad or Julia to take him to the farm every day. And Russel completely adored him. Ben had been there practically from day one, but Jack had an innate touch with children, despite – or more likely, because of – his own miserable childhood. Gabrielle had no doubt that the Forlano and Rowe – damn, what was Rebecca's married name? Jack had mentioned it, but Gabrielle had forgotten it – children flocked to Jack the same way as Russel did.

Once again, Gabrielle couldn't help but wonder how different her life would have been if it had been Jack there for her that fateful night...

"Do I detect a note of jealousy in your voice?" Gabrielle teased. "Don't take it personally, Jack had a way with kids that I suspect exceeds everything else he's tried his hand at." Right now, Jack was allowing Russel to lead him around the garden, showing him things that could only fascinate a four-year-old boy, and Jack was following him around with rapt attention.

As if he sensed they were talking about him, Jack looked up and smiled at Gabrielle. She smiled back and waved. God, it was so pleasant to have him around. He was handy around the house and had this way of making her feel like it was absolutely his pleasure. Not to mention it was lovely to have an adult to talk to who weren't her disgustingly in-love brother and sister-in-law. There was her work at the hospital, of course, but it wasn't the same as having someone to chill out with on a person, one-to-one basis at the end of the day.

"Something tells me Russel isn't the only one who likes having him around," Ben said slyly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Gabrielle asked, shooting Ben an older-sister look that had worked so well when she had been twenty and he had been twelve. It wasn't so effective now.

"I haven't seen you this happy since – well, you know," Ben said. _Since before dad died_. Actually, it was before that, Ben realised. It had been since Jack had left. He had met Jack a few times after he had moved in with Gabrielle, and had quite liked the guy. He had seemed so in sync with Gabrielle – not that he had really known, since he had been seventeen at the time. But he had been thirteen when Steve and Gabrielle had broken up, so he didn't remember much about _that_ relationship, either, except Jack seemed so much more in sync with Gabrielle than Steve had been.

He approved.

"OK, I _do_ like having him around," Gabrielle admitted. "And not just because of Russel. We get along. We've always gotten along. I didn't treat him very well a few years ago and I always regretted that."

"And now he's here."

"Now he's here."

"And what are you going to do about it?"

"Ben!" Gabrielle admonished her younger brother. "You're as bad as Julia. He's just a mate. And he works FIFO."

"Brad and Julia make it work."

"We're not Brad and Julia. We're just mates. And he _likes_ not being tied to anywhere – or anyone. I mean, he won't even base himself in Sydney for his sister – and he adores her."

"It's always a good sign when a guy cares about his sister," Ben said.

Gabrielle poked her tongue out at him. "Drop it, OK? And don't say anything to him. You'll scare him off."

"So you want him to come back, do you?" Ben teased. Gabrielle smacked him playfully on the arm.

* * *

"I've had a great time," Jack told Gabrielle at the end of the week.

"You don't have to be nice," Gabrielle said. "I know it's not as exciting as the Great Barrier Reef." Jack had filled her in on the places he had seen on his weeks off, and she was jealous. Her farm was bigger than a lot of towns, but she had barely been anywhere outside it or Sydney.

"I'm not being nice," he protested. "I really had a great time – and the company was far better," he said, meaning it. And given his 'company' in Queensland had been an attractive tour guide whose impressive talents went beyond knowing her way around the place. But Gabrielle – he had always known he and Gabrielle shared something special. Six years had helped him forget it, but a mere week had made him remember all over again.

Something told him he wasn't going to forget it anytime soon.

"I'd like to come back," he found himself saying, and meaning it.

"Really?" she asked.

"Gabs, I really did enjoy myself and I really do want to come back. God, what is with you? You never used to question yourself like this."

She thought about that. It was true. She had long become used to the idea that most men weren't interested in her. But then, Jack had never been 'most men'. She had allowed her cynicism and resignation to forget that about him.

Something told her she wouldn't be forgetting that again anytime soon.

"How about next time you have a week off?" she asked, instantly regretting how eager she sounded.

Jack cringed, and looked genuinely sorry. "It's the Forlano's tenth wedding anniversary," he explained.

She tried her best not to look disappointed, and you'd think she was good at it by now, given how disappointed she had been in the past. "Of course," she said. It wasn't like she could begrudge the guy for wanting to go to the ten-year wedding anniversary of someone who was not only highly revered in the surgical community but a friend of Jack's.

And Charlotte's. And Adam's. Suddenly she felt very isolated. She had never intended to lose track of her friends the way she had, but Russel and the farm and the clinic took up so much of her time that she couldn't think of anything else, let alone something so many hour's drive away.

"Hey, why don't you come?" Jack asked.

"Huh?"

"To the party," he explained, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world to come to a wedding anniversary party of a couple she didn't know beyond professional reputation and only had ties to them via a handful of mutual friends. "It's at their house, so it's not like an extra person is going to make a difference. And Charlotte and Adam would love to see you again. I think Adam's even convincing Von to come; I think she had a bit of a soft spot for Luke."

"Jack, I can't just – drop everything and – go to a party of people I don't even know."

"You know me," he corrected. "And Adam and Charlotte. And you'll love Luke and Paula. You'll have plenty to talk about."

"What, like being a single mum?" Gabrielle asked. Jack had the decency to look sheepish over his comment. So many people assumed that being a single mother was some all-encompassing shared vocation that meant every woman who did it was a kindred sprit of every _other_ woman who did it. Besides, Paula Morgan hadn't been a single mother in ten years, the same ten years that she hadn't been Paula Morgan in. "It's fine," she said. "But in case you haven't noticed, I have a farm to run, a four-year-old boy to raise and a _real_ job to do," she finished a little wryly. People often mistakenly thought that as the only work she did that brought in regular pay, her work at the clinic was her only 'real' work.

Jack shrugged. He knew he had put his foot in it and not to push her. "OK," he said, trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice. He didn't even know why he had gotten so excited about the thought of her coming with him to this party. "I'll come the week after that I have off – five weeks away."

_Five weeks_. Funny how five weeks seemed so far away when she hadn't seen him for over six years. "Five weeks it is, then," she said.

* * *

"When are you going to come back?" Russel asked plaintively at the end of the week. He sat on Jack's lap, his arms tightly around his neck, as if his weight – a weight Jack could piggyback around as if he were a stuffed bear – could physically anchor Jack to the Jaeger farm.

"Five weeks."

"How many days is that?"

"Thirty-five." Russel bit his lip, his four-year-old brain trying to comprehend what five weeks or thirty-five days was. "Here, I'll show you," Jack said, shifting Russel off his lap and walking him towards the Thomas the Tank Engine calendar on the wall. "This is what day it is today," he said, pointing to the square on the calendar that was the first to be crossed off. "And this is when I'll come back," he explained, circling the day he'd be back. "You can cross out the days if you want."

Russel responded by flinging himself into Jack's lap and wrapping his arms around his neck. "I'll miss you," he said, burying his face in Jack's neck.

Jack was surprised at how fond he had become of the little boy in just a week. But then, he'd always been fond of children. He hugged Russel tightly and wondered how Steve could ever ignore such a delightful little boy.


	2. Chapter 2

"Uncle Jack!" six-year-old Sofia Forlano yelled delightedly two weeks later when she opened the door of the expansive Forlano home to see him.. She held her arms above her head in an _up_ motion and Jack obligingly hoisted her up onto his hip with as much ease that you'd think she was made of stuffing.

"Hey, princess," he said affectionately, so much so that people had often mistaken Jack as a younger brother of either Paula or Luke for how much he adored their children. "Hey, mate," he said as Sophia's older brother, eight-year-old Rick, walked up in front of them. Rick considered himself too old and too macho to be picked up and carried around, so Jack settled for holding his free hand out. Rick didn't consider holding hands too babyish or girly.

"Jack," Paula said from the doorway, watching Jack with her two youngest children. He was a born father, and she had often thought it was such a shame that he was yet to find someone that he wanted to settle down and have children with.

"Hey, Paula," he said. He kissed her awkwardly on the cheek on account that his arms were full of her children. "Where's Max?"

"Our being sullen," Paula said a little tiredly. "Luke won't pay for an arts degree which, as you can imagine, started off a major argument."

Jack nodded acknowledgement. The simmering resentment between Max and Luke had been going on for ten years now. As an eight-year-old, Max had never forgiven Luke for not being either his father Michael or Paula's ex-boyfriend Ben Markham, and Luke, for all his other qualities, had simply lacked the knack of making a child like him. Their relationship see-sawed between cordial and hostile. The latest hostility was over Max wanting to do an arts degree and Luke, sharing the opinion of many surgeons, thought it was a waste of money and wasn't about to fork over his own to support his step-son in what he thought was a futile effort. "What does he want to study?" Jack asked.

"Journalism."

Jack cringed. He couldn't blame Luke for not wanting to pony up for a BA in Journalism. It was an honourable profession, but one that was almost as unemployable as that of an entertainer. "He'd be better off going to TAFE," he said.

"That's what Luke told him, but you know how Max can get. Especially when he has Michael whispering in his ear."

Jack nodded. He certainly knew how Max could get. He had never met Paula's first husband, but he had certainly met plenty of men like him. Happy to let Paula struggle as a single mother for years, he had gotten territorial when a better man – Luke – had come along wanting to give Paula what she deserved. Michael had attempted to break Luke and Paula up, and when that failed, had proceeded to spend the next ten years siding with Max whenever there was a confrontation between Max and Luke.

And there had been plenty. Max had adored Paula's boyfriend before Luke, Ben, and Luke had failed to measure up from day one. And Luke's conservative, family-oriented upbringing made it difficult for him to take Max's ingratitude with good grace. It was a situation not helped by Rick's birth, although to his credit, Max was fond of his half-brother and sister.

For some reason, the whole situation made Jack think of Gabrielle. He wondered if Steve would be as meddlesome as Michael was if Gabrielle got involved with another man. He probably would, Jack decided. He wondered why women like Paula and Gabrielle, who deserved much better, fell for men like that.

"I'll talk to him," Jack said.

"Thanks," Paula says gratefully. "He will listen to you."

"He just doesn't see me enough for familiarity to breed contempt," he joked.

Paula kissed him on the cheek. "You don't think highly enough of yourself," she said. She didn't know what it was – maybe it was simply a matter of Jack not being on the receiving end of Max's ingratitude, maybe he didn't have Luke's knee-jerk reaction to ingratitude, maybe it really _was_ that Jack wasn't around enough for Max to become familiar with him – but she was grateful to have him around – even as little as he was – both as a friend and as a quasi-uncle figure for Max. And Rick and Sophia, but Max seemed to need it so much more.

"I've never met anyone who deserves a family more," Paula said to Luke later that evening. "It's such a shame he hasn't found anyone he wants to settle down with."

Luke recognised that tone in her voice immediately. "Don't even think about it," he said warningly.

"Think about what?" she asked as innocently as she could manage.

"Think about setting him up again. Remember the last time?"

The last time Paula and Luke had attempted to set Jack up, from what the poor woman had relayed to Paula, he had played the intellectual snob to such a degree that Luke had _wished_ he had simply been the Jack Quade he had first met ten years ago, full of himself as both a surgeon and a lover. He might be someone who would be a terrific father, but he deeply resented any attempts to push him on that path.

"Yes, but – " Paula started, mentally scrolling through the single women who would be at their anniversary party.

"But nothing," Luke said firmly. "You try to set him up again and he'll pull the exact same stunt – if we're lucky. At our anniversary party. We'll make _The Scene_ for all the wrong reasons."

"Fine," Paula grumbled, and let the matter drop. But she didn't let go of the idea that there was something out there for Jack that would give him the family he deserved.

* * *

"You look well, Jack. Life in the bush agrees with you," Charlotte teased.

Jack poked his tongue out at her. He was used to Charlotte's teasing. She was part of the pseudo-family that he had cobbled together over the years, and he saw her as an older sister. Neither of them cared to look too deeply into the ramifications of their quasi-sibling relationship. "Says she who got lost in the bush in France," he retorted. Adam was never tired of recounting what he lovingly referred to as Charlotte's Honeymoon Misadventures. It seemed she was no more responsible after a few too many now than she had been twenty years ago.

"It was a vineyard."

"Vines grow on bushes, don't they?"

"No – vines grow on _vines_."

"Smartass."

They bantered easily throughout the evening. Adam watched them in amusement. He had never understood exactly how Jack and Charlotte's relationship had come to be what it was, but it worked for them, and he knew better than to feel insecure over it. And it helped that he demonstrated the same easy, companionable affection with Charlotte that he did with Rebecca.

Speaking of which – the young woman looked like all her Christmases had come at once. Not that young, though, Adam thought. Charlotte had a habit of thinking of her as the seventeen-year-old that she had been when she had first come into Jack's life, although she had actually been twenty-three when Adam had first met her and was now twenty-six with a husband and one-year-old daughter, Callie. It was hard to tell who adored Jack more, his sister or his niece.

And Jack was responding to the adoration. He looked good, even Adam could tell that, and he wasn't one to study men. That, and he had more than once run afoul of Jack's deeply ingrained homophobia. The man had a knack for knowing when other men were looking at him, and he flared up immediately. But Jack looked good, was at ease, more so than usual. "Enjoy your last week off?" he asked.

"Huh?" Jack asked, diverting his attention away from Callie – and the occasional thought of Gabrielle.

"You look good. Did you enjoy your last week off?"

"Um... it was fine," Jack said. Nobody missed his sudden defensiveness.

"Fine?" Charlotte asked, who considered herself to know Jack best of all the people at the table. Their closeness had initially been formed over her miscarriage, and as such, it was a closeness that predated his relationship with his sister. There was little that he could hide from her – and she knew he was trying to hide something from her now, or at least forestall her from working out what he had been up to on his last week off. "Wasn't it some town in the bush that one of your Flying Doctors mates conned you into?"

"Yeah," Jack said vaguely, because he knew if he said the name of the town, Charlotte would work it out. Not that there was anything to 'work out', but Charlotte had this way of thinking things were there when they weren't, and he didn't care to explain how he ended up spending the week with Gabrielle and Russel. Christ, it sounded like there was more to it than there was just when he said it in his head. It wasn't like it was some romantic getaway. It was a working farm that she shared with her brother and sister-in-law, for Heaven's sake.

"Where?" Charlotte asked.

"Just... some little town near the Victorian border. You can scarcely see it on the map."

"Trust me, I know," Luke cut in. "I tried finding it. Wedge or something like that."

"Widgee?" Charlotte asked, grinning as she put the pieces together.

"Yeah, that's it. You heard of it?" Luke asked, surprised. Charlotte was as much a born-and-bred Sydney girl as he was a born-and-bred Sydney boy, so it came as a surprise that she had heard of any town smaller than Newcastle.

"Kind of. It's where our old NUM lives. Actually, the ward's longest-running NUM to date – she still has six months on you, Paula."

"Yeah, and she had to do it under Frank's reign," Adam added. He had heard that at one point, they had gone through six NUMs in a year before Gabrielle had started, and he was inclined to agree. Frank, brilliant physician as he was, hadn't been the easiest boss to deal with in the world. Things were infinitely better with Charlotte in charge, and he wasn't just saying that as her husband.

"This is Gabrielle Jaeger, isn't it?" Paula asked. Charlotte and Adam nodded simultaneously. "I've heard of her. Sounds like she was quite... spirited." Certainly, she was glad that she had never had to deal with Frank, at least not on a permanent basis.

"That's one way of putting it," Charlotte said. She had certainly been the best person to deal with Frank, using a combination of passive-aggressive manipulation, flattery and assertion when each was needed. "She and Jack had a sort-of thing, too."

"We did not!"

"Yeah, 'cos everyone just kisses their so-called housemate at a wedding where they're in the bridal party," Charlotte said, stressing the 'so-called', as if she didn't believe for a second that they had merely been housemates – and never had.

"She was drunk," Jack protested. He could feel the blood rising to his cheeks and was grateful that the time he spent outdoors had given him a decent tan. "Like _you've_ never done anything while you were drunk that you regretted later."

Now it was Charlotte's turn to poke out her tongue at Jack."Don't change the subject. What were you doing in Widgee?"

"I don't think anyone else is interested," Jack blustered.

"No, go ahead," Luke said, as interested as everyone else, despite being the oldest at the table and as such, the one who should be the _least_ interested in watching Jack start to look decidedly uncomfortable. It was quite interesting, especially to someone who had witnessed Jack swagger around like he was God's Gift to Women.

"It's not what you think. Paul's wife and Gabby went to school together. I had no idea the farm was there when I accepted the invitation to stay with the Walkers. Hell, I had no idea what she was up to. We lost touch."

Charlotte decided to ignore that last sentence. She knew how hurt Jack had been when Gabrielle had told him that Steve had given her a him-or-me ultimatum... and she had chosen Steve. She knew buckling under the pressure of an insecure partner went against everything Jack valued in a friend. He had understood her reasons, but been deeply hurt nonetheless.

And now he was glowing after seeing her. Well, she'd always known that they had something special.

"You should have invited her to the party," Paula spoke up, her mind ticking along the same lines as Charlotte's, although she didn't understand the kind of friendship Jack and Gabrielle had shared. What she _did_ understand that Jack was squirming and blushing like an infatuated teenager – something Paula suspected he hadn't done even when he _had_ been a teenager. "I'd've loved to meet her."

"I did invite her. She said she had too much work to do. _What?_" he asked peevishly when Charlotte made sounds that were halfway between laughing and coughing as she attempted to repress her mirth.

"I think Charlotte's thinking something along the lines of exactly what happened between the two of you that you decided to extend an invite to a wedding anniversary before consulting, you know, the couple whose anniversary it is," Luke pointed out.

"What! I knew you wouldn't mind!"

Luke smiled indulgently. Sometimes he forgot how young Jack was.

Or that the boy, as dug-in as he was in his conviction that he was perfectly happy with the life he had, was just as capable of falling for someone as anyone else.

"What do you think?" Adam asked Charlotte when the evening was over and they were at home. Zach, now ten, was in bed and the two were enjoying a bottle of wine in peace. He had started working at All Saints just as Jack was leaving – he ended up being Jack's replacement, actually – and only got to know Jack later on so he never witnessed the camaraderie between him and Gabrielle that Charlotte had sworn they had. Adam had never seen it, but then, the only boyfriend – if that was the right word – he had ever known Gabrielle to have was Steve, and Steve and Jack were so opposite that Adam struggled to believe Jack and Gabrielle had ever had something as special as Charlotte claimed they had had.

"I think when she gave in to Steve's ultimatum, she broke both their hearts," Charlotte said. She doubted Jack had admitted even to his sister how hurt he had been over it. Actually, he hadn't even admitted as such to Charlotte. But Charlotte knew Jack well enough to know how hurt he had been – and she liked to think she knew Gabrielle well enough to know how caving in to such an ultimatum would have broken her heart.

She and Jack had shared something special. Charlotte had never understood why Gabrielle had ended up with Steve. She had always thought it was a mere matter of geographical proximity. She was of the opinion that had Jack still been around when Russel had died, Gabrielle would never have ended up with Steve.

"Looks like it's mended," Adam commented. He may have never known Jack and Gabrielle together, but he had gotten to know Jack fairly well in the last few years, and he couldn't remember seeing Jack this happy. Not the infatuated glow you saw in teenagers or sometimes people in their twenties – and older – but the comfortable, happy ease of someone who knows what works for them and had rediscovered it. Maybe Charlotte had been right all along about Jack and Gabrielle sharing something special. "Do you really think he just co-incidentally happened to work with one of her friends?"

"A happy co-incidence, yes," Charlotte said. She had met Julia Croft once before. The woman was the biggest matchmaker this side of the equator, and she had made it clear what she thought of Steve. (Steve hadn't appeared to like her much, either.) "But something tells me there are forces out there determined to make the most of it."

Not to mention forces out there determined to put a stop to it, Charlotte thought, should Steve Taylor ever get wind of this co-incidental connection.

* * *

"You look lost," Julia commented slyly. "Like, oh, I dunno, you reconnected with this awesome man and now he's gone."

Gabrielle scowled at Julia. Just over two weeks and she was ready to smack her childhood best friend for her never-ending stream of comments, innuendoes and hints. Julia had made it very clear what she thought of Jack – good-looking, intelligent, funny, terrific with Russel, not to mention Gabrielle's own age. Oh, and he looked at Gabrielle like he couldn't wait to spend time alone with her.

Julia was dying to know just how much time they had spent together in his week off – and what they had done in that time off. But Gabrielle wasn't giving her anything.

"It was nice to have him around," Gabrielle admitted cautiously. She didn't want to admit to Julia that it had been more than nice. It had been the best time she could remember since – well, forever. Since, well, since Jack had left. She had never gelled with anyone like she had with Jack – and that included Steve. She didn't feel as comfortable, as appreciated, as invigorated as she did when Jack was around.

"Bullshit, it was more than nice," Julia said. "You hadn't seen him in, what, five years and just like that you were carrying on like the best of friends. You never had that with Steve," she couldn't resist pointing out. _Pity it wasn't Jack there for her when Russel died_, Julia thought silently. She bet Jack wouldn't have unprotected sex with someone who had just lost her father, too.

"Fine, it was more than nice. What's your point?"

"I would have thought my point was obvious."

Gabrielle found herself blushing, and she didn't know why. It wasn't like Julia hadn't tried to set her up before, hadn't tried extolling the virtues or this man or that. So why should she blush when Julia started extolling Jack's virtues? "Forget it," she said. "And besides, I wouldn't want to be in a FIFO relationship and see him one week out of three."

Julia paused for a moment's thought at that. Not because she thought Gabrielle was right – FIFO relationships worked if you wanted them to, her and Brad were proof of that – but because she remembered that Jack and Brad were on the same roster, which meant Jack should have a week off now, too. So where was he?

"Sydney," Gabrielle said when Julia asked. "He had a wedding anniversary to go to."

_Wedding anniversary?_ Julia's opinion of Jack dropped a few degrees at that. He had a _wedding anniversary_ to go to – a recipe for relationships if ever there was one – and hadn't thought to invite Gabrielle? Did he have a girl stashed in Sydney like one of his many casual relationships that Brad admitted he had? "Only his sister," Gabrielle said when Julia asked with a laugh, because it was obvious Julia wanted to know why he hadn't invited her to the party. "And he did invite me. I said no."

Julia's opinion of Jack immediately zoomed back up – just as her opinion of Gabrielle plummeted. Alright, so maybe she could be forgiven for turning down other men in different circumstances. But this was a man she shared something special with – and she – had – turned – him – down. She had been important enough to him that he had invited her to a wedding anniversary party and she – had – turned – him – down. "You idiot!" she cried. "Why did you do something so stupid?"

"Because I have other things to concern myself with – more important things. Russel, the farm – "

"Both of which can more than adequately be taken care of by your very capable brother and sister-in-law," Julia said. "When is this party?"

"Saturday."

It was Thursday. "Plenty of time," Julia said, her mind ticking over.

Gabrielle looked at her warily. She didn't like Julia when she had that expression on her face. "I'm not going," she said.

Julia strengthened her resolved. She didn't like Gabrielle when she got that look on her face. "Yes, you are," she insisted.

* * *

On Saturday evening, Gabrielle found herself walking up the drive of the Forlano's palatial mansion. She was aware of the existence of such homes, but she had never seen one up-close. Well, at least if it came to it, she could point out that _her_ home was most likely bigger than that of everyone else at this party combined.

She stalled at the front steps as it sank in that she was showing up to an anniversary party for two people that she had never met on the invitation of someone she had initially turned down who she had never actually told that she was indeed coming. Julia had thought it would be a good idea for her just to surprise him. She was just a country girl about to walk into a party full of sophisticated city people.

She turned around and started to go back to her car when she saw a familiar figure coming in the opposite direction. "Gabrielle," Adam said warmly. "Jack said you weren't coming."

She smiled weakly. There was no weaselling out of it now. "Things weren't as urgent as I thought they were," she said. "Where's Charlotte?"

"Already inside. I needed to stay back and finish some stuff up – well, one of us did, and since she's known them much longer I figured I should be the one who arrived late."

Gabrielle smiled tightly. She couldn't help but think that Steve had never done anything so simply thoughtful like that. Well, at least there was someone she knew from the beginning. She tucked her hand into Adam's arm when he offered it and allowed him to escort her inside. "You're married now?" she said, half question, half statement. Jack had already told her, of course, and besides, she had suspected there was something between Adam and Charlotte before she had left Sydney. Maybe they hadn't properly gotten together at that point, but sometimes you could tell those things.

"Almost three years. A few months before Frank retired and she became Head of Department."

"I heard about that. Apparently Bart threw a monumental tantrum."

Adam laughed. "You could say that. Nice enough kid, but massive sense of entitlement, especially being married to Frank's niece. I'm surprised he was only aiming for 2IC instead of thinking he could go straight to Head of Department at, what, twenty-five."

Gabrielle laughed. Adam was exaggerating slightly – she figured Bart would be about thirty now – but his slavish idolization of Frank had been known by everyone who had worked in the ED. "I hear you make a terrific step-dad," she said.

"Yeah. Got into something of a battle of wills with Jack over it. He _really_ wasn't willing to give up his position as the number-one man in Zach's life."

"That sounds exactly like Jack."

"That _is_ exactly like Jack. He's like everyone honorary uncle. I don't know why he never went into paediatrics."

"When you're that good at something and that passionate about it, you should never do it for a living," Gabrielle said wisely. She had witnessed firsthand the knack Jack had with children during the week he had spent with her and Russel. "What about you?" she asked. "Did you guys ever think about trying for another child?"

"We did," Adam said. "Tried, I mean. For about two years. I knew when I got involved with her what the chances were."

"And that didn't bother you?"

"Of course it bothered me. Just not enough that I wanted anyone else."

"Sounds very understanding."

Adam shrugged. It didn't seem all that understanding to him; just seemed like common bloody sense. There was no point in moping over the things you couldn't have. "It's just a matter of perspective, really. Did I want someone younger for the chance of biological children, or did I want Charlotte and Zach? It was pretty easy for me when I looked at it that way. And besides – I just need to look at the Forlanos and Michael to know things could be worse. I could have a deadbeat dad whose sole goal in life is to cause trouble for us on my hands."

At Adam's reasoning, Gabrielle couldn't help but think that she and Charlotte had been in similar situations. Both in somewhat complicated relationships with men they had cared deeply about, both had enjoyed the first few months of parenthood before it turned sour and left them as single mothers struggling to juggle work and parenthood.

Except now Charlotte was happily married with a man who adored her and the closest thing she had to a man in her life was her brother. Resentfully it occurred to her that Zach had been the same age as Russel was now when Charlotte and Adam had started their first tentative steps to their happy marriage.

She felt a stab of nervousness when she entered the house. "It's been a while since I've been to something like this," she admitted. Actually, she believed she had _never_ been to something like this. She hadn't exactly hobnobbed with the surgeons when she had been living in Sydney.

"You'll be fine," Adam reassured her. "Most of these people aren't as snobby as you would think. Paula saw to that." _And Charlotte_, he added silently. Between the two of them in his circle, Luke hadn't had a chance to maintain friendships with snobs.

"You like her?"

"A great deal. She's like a citified version of you. She doesn't take anyone's crap and she's got no tolerance of snobs, even if Luke _does_ work with them. There she is right now." Adam waved at the ED's Nursing Unit Manager and Paula came over. He kissed the woman on either cheek. "Paula, this is Gabrielle Jaeger."

Paula brightened when she heard the name. "I've heard a lot about you," she gushed. "Charlotte says you're the only person who ever managed to get around Frank."

"I suspect that's because I was the only person to take the job who'd grown up on a farm in an all-male environment. I learnt very quickly how to get my way when surrounded by men who were determined to look at me as a silly girl who wasn't capable of a thought beyond clothes, shoes, makeup and men."

Paula laughed at that, and Adam flashed her a knowing smile. _I told you you'd like her_. "I'll leave you two to it and see if I can find my wife," Adam said. He went off in search of Charlotte, who he found giving her opinions on a society which thought nothing of deadbeat fathers but crucified women who were half as neglectful of their children. He had been told that this was actually a far milder version of the Charlotte who had started her internship at All Saints almost twenty years ago.

"I've heard you're quite the woman," Paula repeated.

"Frank wasn't that hard to deal with once you worked out what made him tick," Gabrielle said modestly.

"Not just as a nurse. Charlotte speaks very highly of you. Says there's nothing you can accomplish once you put your mind to it."

Gabrielle was pleased; it was always good for the ego to hear compliments from a stranger, to know that your reputation preceded you in a good way. Something told her that she was going to like Paula – and not just because she had complimented her right off the bat.

"To be honest, I'm surprised you came," Paula broached the subject after a few minutes. "Jack said you were busy."

Gabrielle felt the colour come to her cheeks when Paula mentioned Jack's name. He didn't even know she was here yet. "Circumstances changed," she said.

"I gathered that, but he didn't say anything."

Gabrielle blushed obviously now. "He, uh, doesn't know I'm here."

There was a look in Paula's eyes that Gabrielle couldn't understand – like some private opinion she shared with Luke or Charlotte or Adam or someone else other than her had been proven – and it made her feel off-balance. She had forgotten that Jack had a whole other life – he was a born-and-bred city boy, regardless of where his job might take him – and she hadn't realised it until now and she was surrounded by his city friends in one of their palatial city mansions.

The look in Paula's eyes cleared. "Then you'll be a pleasant surprise," she said. "Come. I think he's in the backyard."

'Backyard' was a bit of an understatement; while it had nothing on the backyard of the Jaeger homestead, it was still larger than the entire property of the house she'd had when she was living in Sydney. A bouncy castle had been set up and kids were running around, screaming and yelling like the kids they were. It was like a zoo. A cosy, happy zoo. Suddenly Gabrielle wished she had brought Russel. He got so few opportunities to spend time with other children. She grinned, thinking that maybe it was a good idea that she had left Russel at home – he would probably overdose on the extra stimulation.

Jack was acting in a supervisory role, helping children up and down from the castle, making sure the older, bigger kids didn't get too rowdy, sensing when a child was about to fall down and preventing bruised legs and skinned elbows from happening. She smiled at the picture. Jack really was a born dad.

As if sensing that he was being watched and thought about, Jack snapped his head up and his eyes connected with Gabrielle's. He stared at her with surprise, then his mouth crinkled into a smile. "Gabrielle," he said, putting down the child he was currently helping down as quickly as he could manage and striding towards her. "I thought you couldn't come."

"I changed my mind."

"I'm glad." He leaned in to kiss her cheek, and she was so flustered by the close contact that she twisted her head slightly so his mouth brushed against the corner of hers rather than fully on her cheek like he'd intended. "Did you bring Russel?"

He actually sounded hopeful, and Gabrielle couldn't help but think that she couldn't remember Steve being so keen to see Russel since shortly after he had been born. "No, he's at home with Ben and Caitlin. He adores being a big cousin."

"Pity. Probably would have done him some good to be around so many children. That, or his head would have exploded from the extra stimulation."

She had forgotten how in sync they had often been in their thoughts. "It would have been like the time I allowed him to stay up after the twins were born and have all the hot chocolate his little tummy could stand. I wanted to return him to the nursery that night. I think I made Ben and Caitlin consider adoption there and then."

Jack laughed at that. "I'm sure they wouldn't have found any trouble finding someone else to raise them," he said.

"And I'm sure you'd allow someone else to raise your niece about as much as I'd allow someone else to raise _mine_. Hey, if the timing ever works, you should bring Bec and Callie to the farm. She' be about their age." Meaning Callie, not Rebecca. Although come to think of it, Rebecca would be about the same age as Ben and Caitlin. Gabrielle was instantly struck with the imagine of all of them – Ben, Caitlin and their twin daughters, Rebecca and Callie (she was aware Rebecca had a husband somewhere, but since she had never met him, he didn't count) her, Jack and Russel.

"Maybe," Jack said noncommittally, and Gabrielle did her best not to look disappointed. _I'd rather have you and Russel to myself anyway_. Now, where had _that_ thought come from? He had enjoyed himself, that was for sure, but it wasn't like there was anything more between him and Gabrielle then friendship. And even 'friendship' was pushing it, seeing as they hadn't seen each other for years until a few weeks ago, and they had parted on bad terms. "How are things on the farm?" he asked.

"Good. It's going to be a profitable season, I think. And Russel's getting big enough that he understands some of what goes on. I have to admit, there's something slightly claustrophobic about being back here." She faltered, realising she was talking to someone who had grown up in Sydney. "Sorry, guess that doesn't make much sense."

"This is me you're talking to, remember? I've seen a fair chunk of eastern Australia from the view of a chopper. I'm really at home anywhere, but I do get what you're talking about. Sometimes the traffic at night drives me batty. There's something to be said about the whistling of the trees and the hooting of the owls that can be very soothing sometimes."

She smiled at him, her eyes shining brightly. He definitely had potential.

"I'll make a country boy out of you yet," she promised.

"Deal," he found himself saying.

He had intended to mingle more, but everytime he thought he should, he found himself in the middle of a discussion with Gabrielle about – well, something interesting. The thing with Gabrielle was that he could never remember what they talked about – only that she was so easy to talk to.

"They do look cosy," Paula said to Charlotte. She hadn't seen them apart from each other all night. They hadn't done anything untoward, but there was something about the way they were looking at each other. You didn't look at someone like that if they didn't make you feel special and tingle, like there was no-one else in the word you would rather be spending the night with. "How did they become such good friends in the first place? She doesn't seem like his type before."

"I think it started as a babysitting exercise on Frank's part," Charlotte recalled. "The gravitated towards each other after that – and something I will say for Jack is that he never looked down at the nurses the way some surgeons do – and I think Steve had something to do with it, too. I think she liked having him between her and Steve. Can't say I blame her."

"You didn't like him?"

"There was something about him that never gelled." Charlotte had never known about Steve's alcoholism, but even if she had, she wouldn't have given him much slack over it. Maybe she'd been spoilt by the loyalty and professionalism Nelson Curtis had demonstrated, but she didn't have a lot of sympathy for people who let their personal issues get in the way of their professionalism. Especially not in a job like theirs where people's lives depended on it. "He was never big on accepting authority – he routinely went over my head, or Frank's, if he could get away with it. And I don't think he did the right thing by Gabrielle. Not just with Russel – ever. I never got the full story, but there was always this tension between them – like she didn't fully trust him." Charlotte shrugged. "Maybe it was just the way she and Jack were with each other. It was kind of like you and Luke compared to you and Michael."

"Michael hated Luke from first sight."

Charlotte laughed. "My point exactly."

"So, let me get this straight – you just had this gorgeous dress lying around in your wardrobe?" Jack asked. Gabrielle was firmly ensconced in his arms as the music played – from a life band, no less, no stereo player for the Forlanos – her backless jade-green dress plenty low enough that he could justify his arm against her bare skin without being creepy. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so _good_ about having a woman in his arms.

"Not exactly," Gabrielle admitted. "Julia made me buy something more... _appropriate_."

"It's very appropriate," he said. "I always liked it when you dressed up. Whatever happened to that dark-blue dress you wore when I took you out for your birthday?"

She remembered that. She had been feeling down because Steve was so recently sober and was spending all his nights at AA meetings and she didn't really have any friends apart from him, and Jack had surprised her with tickets to _Evita._ Actually, he had _really_ surprised her – she had come home to find him in her room, rummaging through her wardrobe as if he belonged there, emerging with a dark-blue watered silk dress that she'd bought on impulse after she'd arrived in Sydney.

She remembered that night all too well. She had had a blast that night. Actually, she had kind of thought – OK, she had kind of _hoped_ – that Jack would kiss her that night. It had seemed appropriate – no, not appropriate, _perfect_ – to end a birthday with a birthday kiss... but it hadn't happened.

Strange how she still felt disappointed over that so many years later.

"I outgrew it," she said, laughing ruefully. "I've never been able to fully lose the baby weight. You'd think between running a clinic, running farm and bringing up a toddler, I'd be wasting away."

"I wouldn't worry about it. It suits you. Never liked super-skinny women either."

"Really?" she asked, smiling at him, her eyes glittering in that all-too-familiar way and he knew she was thinking something devilish – that was his Gabrielle. Heh_, his_ Gabrielle. He hadn't thought about her that way in a long time. "I've seen photos of Terri Sullivan. You must've had thirty kilos on her."

"And a clear foot," he agreed. "I thought you were much cuter."

"You're just being nice."

"I was never 'just being nice' when it came to you, Gabs. I thought you knew that." But there was no reproachment in his voice. He didn't know what it was, but at some point in the last three weeks he had come to understand exactly what kind of influence Steve had on her. While he may not have intended it – addicts have a way of doing a lot of destructive things that they never intended – he had ingrained a deep sense of insecurity in her so she had never quite believed that other men found her attractive – let alone that one man in particular found her insanely desirable.

He realised now that she had never known how he felt about her because she had never thought a man _could_ feel that way about her – except maybe Steve. He realised now that when she had caved to that ultimatum of his, she had done it because she hadn't realised that in doing so, she had given up a friend who could love her far more that Steve was capable of. However hurt he had been, she had been far more hurt in the long run.

He forgave her. There was no point in holding it against her.

Gabrielle felt Jack's arms shift against her back, and she felt – sensed – something in his mood. He seemed suddenly at peace with something. She had witnessed that side of him in a few occasions. Sometimes when they spent the night in over a few DVDs and each other's company and he felt so comfortable and loved, there was something in his demeanour that changed. He was more relaxed, more comfortable in his own skin – and someone else's presence. She had forgotten how wonderful it was to be in his arms, to be around him like that. She never regretted the way she had ended their friendship more than she did now.

"Jack," she said in a low voice. "I'm sorry that I chose Steve over you."

He kissed the top of her head. "I know. People don't always do the smartest things when it comes to their kids. I'm just glad we can be here now."

"Me too."

Unconsciously, she wrapped her arms tighter around his neck at the same time that he wrapped his arms tighter around her waist. He'd never met anyone who felt so perfect in his arms – extra baby weight or not. He'd never met anyone who made him laugh and think and feel safe the way she did.

He'd never been attracted to someone like he was attracted to Gabrielle, never wanted someone like he wanted Gabrielle, had never _stopped_ wanting her. It made him feel a little guilty, actually, to think about how many women there had been in the intervening years. None that had been under any delusions about what he was willing to give, but still...

And all for a girl who could never quite let go of her past.

Gabrielle rubbed her cheek against Jack's shoulder. She could feel the muscles in his chest, although she had seen him enough times with his shirt off during the week he'd been at the farm to know that he was in good as shape as ever. It wasn't just his physical strength that made him so damn attractive, either – although it wasn't exactly a turn-off that someone could pick her up and spin her in a circle as if she weighed no more than her son – it was his intellectual strength – not just in being smart, but in being open-minded – his emotional strength, the strength in his heart and soul. He had given her more in the nine months that they had lived together than Steve had given her in the almost twenty years that their relationship spanned.

She wondered if he had ever realised how attractive she found him. He had always been convinced that her kissing him at Dan and Erica's wedding was solely motivated by desire to make Steve jealous. He had been so wrong, but he hadn't given her the chance to explain, and she hadn't tried. He as the sexiest, most beautiful man she had ever met, and his physical good looks only made up a part of that.

It suddenly hit her that maybe Steve had been right to be jealous of her relationship with Jack. She and Steve shared a history, but history couldn't compete with chemistry and camaraderie – not to the degree that she and Jack shared it. And even though nothing had ever happened between her and Jack beyond their drunken wedding kiss – not even when she had begged him to take her to bed after they had found out about Erica's death.

Two times in her life that she had been drunk, in shock and grieving and had wanted to go to bed with a man to feel alive. And yet she knew that it hadn't been the same with Steve. She knew that she had wanted Jack for more than just feeling alive when faced with death. Knew that the love and chemistry she shared with Jack obliterated what she shared with Steve. Knew that it had been so obvious that Steve had picked up on it, even if nothing had ever happened between her and Jack. Knew that maybe Steve had had a right to feel jealous and insecure that history couldn't compete with chemistry and camaraderie.

Knew now was the time to do something about it.

"Jack?" she murmured.

The feel of her breath against his neck was intoxicating. "Yeah?"

"Do you want to go back to my motel room?" she asked, her voice catching in her throat. What if he took it the wrong way, like he had with her kiss?

He smiled at her. "I thought you'd never ask."

... "You owe me ten bucks," Charlotte said smugly to Paula a few seconds later when she noticed Jack and Gabrielle leaving together, his arm around her waist, her head on his shoulder. "I told you they'd leave together."

"You'll have to take it later, my purse is upstairs," Paula grumbled. She'd thought, given how many years they'd already spent pandering to their UST, they would at least hold out until his next week off.

... When they got outside, Jack abruptly grabbed Gabrielle and drew her into his arms, wrapping her tightly in his embrace, and kissed her hard. For a split second, she was surprised by the unexpected kiss, but she found herself – not exactly against her will, more like working with a greater force than reason, than modesty, more than anything beyond kissing someone you were crazy about and had been for so long. Gasping, she opened her mouth to his kiss, meeting his tongue with hers, kissing him back with just as much intensity and passion as he was kissing her.

The world stopped and there was nothing more important than them, then kissing him. She had never thought that a kiss could be like this.

He let her go just as abruptly as he had grabbed her, and she stumbled, proof that she had been so lost in his kiss that she had forgotten how to support herself. "What was that about?" she asked when she saw his eyes twinkling.

"I just wanted to make sure you didn't kiss me the same way you did at the wedding."

"Oh. Sorry about that," she said, remembering. Jack had been right, of course. Regardless of the _actual_ affection and chemistry she shared with Jack, the drunk kiss that she had planted on him at Dan and Erica's wedding reception had been about making a point to Steve. But not now. And never again. "Jack – " she started tentatively. "Do you – do you want to kiss me again?"

He grinned at her. It was kind of nice to have _her_ on the pursuing end for a change. Not that he would make her wait as long as he had waited for her. But a few minutes wouldn't hurt anyone. And he didn't want to take her on the Forlanos lawn, either. Too public. "When we get home," he said, aware that it wasn't home for either of them. There was something a bit tawdry about their first time being in a motel room, but it couldn't be helped. And besides, that would change. He intended to spend more of his weeks off at the Jaeger farm after this.

Gabrielle drove them to the motel room she had booked for the weekend – nothing flash, but it suited her purpose. She blushed, thinking that it would actually suit more than her purposes – more than her intended purposes, at least. But then, what _had_ she been intending when she had come up to Sydney to surprise Jack? Hadn't she known all along that they had unresolved issues?

Six years was certainly a long time for things to go unresolved.

"What are you thinking?" Jack asked, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. He kissed the nape of her neck, then moved up to her ear, nibbling on it playfully. Gabrielle squirmed in his arms. It felt _so_ good and she knew Jack hadn't even started yet. She remembered how tactile he was, even just as a friend; how he loved curling up on the couch with his head on her lap and have her stroke his hair; how there were few pleasures in his life more simple then having her in his arms while they watched a DVD. And if that was what he was like as a friend –

"Jack," she said. "I want to go to bed with you." Her voice sounded strange to her; her boldness even stranger. And yet – perfect for the moment.

Behind her, he grinned. "I've wanted to hear you say that for years." He spun her around and swung her into his arms with an ease that she was becoming familiar with. He carried her towards the bedroom of the motel, and she pushed back the thought that someone like Jack would know his way around a motel room - it wasn't like there were many variations of them.

Jack lay her down on the bed and kissed her hard, possessively. He wanted to know that she was all his – finally. "I've waited a long time for this," he admitted huskily between kisses. He didn't want to stop kissing her mouth, but he didn't want to miss the other parts of her body, either. He kissed her face and neck frantically.

"Me, too," she admitted, and for a second she felt bad that she had been with Steve for so long when she had feelings for Jack. Why had it taken them so long to work out how they felt about each other?

She forgot all about her guilt when Jack reached behind her and unzipped her dress, inching the material down her body, kissing the exposed skin as he went. She had already had some idea that Steve wasn't much into foreplay, but this was something else entirely. He momentarily paused when he had the material pooled around her stomach, then worked his way back up to her chest. Deftly unclipping her bra – God, how he thanked the person who had invented these strapless things, they were _so_ easy to remove – he loosened the material from her body and tossed it onto the floor.

He kissed her breasts, flicking his tongue over her nipples so she bucked against him involuntarily and groaned gutturally. She raked her fingers through his hair, tugging at it, feeling the texture under her fingers. She had stroked his hair before, but this felt so much different, so much _more_. Everything felt more heightened, more – just _more_. "Jack," she sighed as he worked his way down her body again, inching her out of her dress as he went.

He eased the material over her hips and from there it was a quick journey to the floor so she was clad only in her underwear. It didn't seem very fair that he was still fully dressed – but she wasn't about to complain. "Jack," she said, jolting up quickly when she realised what he was going to do. "Don't."

"Why not?"

"It's... not right."

Jack traced his finger under the elastic of her underwear provocatively and she responded as he had expected, pushing against him despite her protests. "What's not right?" he asked innocently, as if he had no clue what she was talking about.

"What you're doing." Well, what he was planning to do – but she was too embarrassed to say it out loud and he got her drift.

"What I want to do is go down on you," he said calmly. "Unless you have a problem with that." Which undoubtedly she did, or she wouldn't have objected in the first place.

"It's gross," she said, and Jack resisted the urge to laugh. She sounded like a child complaining about her spinach. Although Jack was willing to put money on Steve being quite capable of a acting the spoilt child when it came to sex – and being very vocal about not giving head. Jack had never gotten that logic. It was only returning a favour, which was only fair.

But then, Jack had never thought like most men, especially when it came to sex.

"I like it," he said calmly. "And if you give me five minutes, you'll like it too."

He didn't need to give her five minutes. Within two, she was thrashing around on the bed in response to his touch. Everything that had been said about him was true, she thought dimly – or at least all the good bits. With his fingers and tongue, he had her screaming and writhing, having lost complete control of her body. "What did you do to me?" she asked him after it was over and she was lying on her back, trying to catch her breath – and any semblance of awareness.

"Only what you deserved," Jack said, grinning wickedly. For all her strength and intelligence, she could be charmingly inexperienced at times. She wasn't the first woman he had brought to orgasm for the first time, but for some reason, she was definitely the most special.

But then, he couldn't remember the last time he had made love to someone he actually _loved. _Actually, he couldn't remember _ever_ having made love to someone he actually loved. Sometimes, like Terri, he had thought he loved them, but it had never been real love. Not like this. "I love you," he said.

She grinned playfully at him. "You don't have to say that to get into my pants, Jack. It's pretty much a done deal."

"I know," he said calmly. "I just wanted to say it. I love you." It sounded nice on his tongue.

Her grin faded when she realised how serious he was. "I love you, too," she said.

He started stroking her bare skin idly, careful not to over-stimulate her. She responded by running her fingers down his chest, undoing the buttons of his shirt as she did, baring his skin as he had with her a little while before. He had been shirtless at times on the farm, not to mention all the times she had seen him without his shirt when they had been living together (a mental image she had never entirely given up, regardless of what she told Steve otherwise) but this was something else entirely – something far more erotic. "You," she said admiringly, "are a very good-looking man."

"I aim to please," he said, and kissed her. He climbed on top of her and was patient as she undressed him, savouring every motion of her touch. She wasn't all that experienced sexually, but she had this way of touching him that wound him up in a way a seasoned prostitute would know. (Not that he knew personally.) He found himself shaking with lust before too long and he knew that if he didn't have her soon – and God knew, he had waited long enough – he would burst.

Finally, he was naked and she was just as ready as he was. He entered her as slowly as he could manage, savouring every inch as he penetrated her slowly. "Beautiful," he grunted hoarsely. "You're so beautiful."

Gabrielle wrapped her legs around his waist tightly, a silent invitation to step it up. He began thrusting faster and harder until he was pumping her furiously, all attempts at restraint gone as they went at it frantically, their sweaty, naked bodies entwined in raw animal passion. They climaxed together after a few minutes and Jack collapsed in a heap beside her, his legs shaking. Gabrielle curled up next to him, shaking herself. She had know sex with Jack would be good, but – "Oh, God, that was – "

"Amazing?" Jack offered. "Incredible? Mind-blowing." None of those words seemed to express it well enough. He had had fantastic sex before, but this went way beyond that. If Jack hadn't been a dyed-in-the-wool atheist for as long as he had been, he would have called it a spiritual experience.

She snuggled closer to him. "I knew it would be good with you," she said.

"Yeah?" Jack asked. He never got tired of being told that he was good in bed.

"Yeah."

"So, you, uh... want to do this again?" he asked, feeling strangely nervous about her answer. Of _course_ she would want to do it again – at least he hoped she did – it wasn't like they had a lot of opportunities to see each other – but he wanted to do this again – if she wanted to.

"Yeah," she said, feeling strangely insecure. It had been amazing, and it had been building up for quite some time, but Jack didn't exactly have a sterling history when it came to women, and it wasn't like they would have a lot of opportunity to see each other, what with him working FIFO and her out of the farm. Could she really keep his attention when he was gone for weeks at a time? If she couldn't keep Steve's _when she was right there_, did she really think she could keep Jack's when he was hundreds of kilometres away?

"Good," he said. "I can come to the farm next week I have off. I can't wait to see Russel again." Gabrielle stiffened in his arms when he said that. "Have I said something wrong?" he asked. The last thing he wanted to do was get her offside when they had just gotten together? When they didn't know exactly where they stood with each other?

"No, it's just that – I don't want him to know about us," Gabrielle said. Now it was Jack's turn to stiffen in her arms, and she knew she had upset him. He was crazy about Russel – far crazier than anyone had a right to be after just a week – and being her boyfriend would, in his mind, be a natural progression for his relationship with Russel. "I'm not embarrassed or anything," she said. "I just don't want him getting really attached to you and thinking of you as my boyfriend – he's so young, Jack, it won't be much of a stretch between that and step-father – and I don't want him thinking along those lines while we're so new. Look, Paula was saying – " she started when Jack met her words with stiff, stony silence.

"That Max got attached to Ben Markham and never accepted Luke because of it," Jack cut her off. "Yeah, I know the story. Which, when you think about it, is pretty insulting, because if you're comparing us to them, you're saying that I'm hung up on another woman." He hadn't been in a relationship in years to _be_ hung up on another woman, and if he had – well, Gabrielle was hardly just 'another woman'. She was the most amazing woman he had met, and he was hurt that she thought so little of him that he would let either her or Russel get hurt like that.

"I know that, Jack," she said. "I know you want to do the right thing by both of us. But not even your best intentions can predict where we'll be in a few months from now. Doesn't it make sense to see how things go before we let him know?" That, and there was Steve. She wasn't ready for Steve to know – and Steve would know if Russel knew. She wasn't ready to go down that road yet. "Please, Jack. Just a few months. That's really only just a few weeks together after you factor in your work," she pointed out persuasively.

Jack glowered, then reigned in his feelings. He didn't like it, not one bit, but he knew he didn't get much of a say in it – not if he wanted to keep seeing Gabrielle. It was her kid after all. And there was no point in sulking about it if he wasn't going to get what he wanted. "OK," he said, as calmly as he could manage given how disappointed he was. "But let's not talk about that right now. The night is still young and we're not going to see each other for two weeks."


	3. Chapter 3

"Where's my hero's welcome?" Jack asked two weeks later when he let himself in the front door of the Jaeger homestead. He still couldn't get used to this idea that people just left their doors open like that. OK, so there wasn't actually anyone around to break in, but still...

Gabrielle stopped what she was doing in the kitchen when she heard Jack's voice and ran to him. He was earlier then she was expecting. She threw herself into his arms and kissed him deeply. Jack kissed her back, lifting her and spinning her around a few times until she was giggling with pleasure. "I take it you missed me, then," he said pleasedly.

"You know I did," she said breathlessly.

"Where's Russel?" he said. He was pleased by her warm reception, but figured that was because Russel wasn't around, and he had been looking forward to seeing the little boy for the past five weeks.

"At Julia's," Gabrielle explained. She played with the top button on his shirt suggestively. "So if you were after that hero's welcome..." Without giving him the opportunity to say anything, she dropped to her knees and unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, pulling them down his legs to reveal his masculinity. . "I see you missed me," she said admiringly when she saw how aroused he already was. "I take it there was no-one else if you're this pleased to see me?"

"That's not funny, Gabs," Jack said weakly, then forgot all about it when she stroked the length of his member softly. He trembled with pleasure. "Oh, God," he cried softly.

She had learnt quickly what he liked, and it didn't take much beyond that to get him worked up. She enjoyed seeing – and feeling – him react the way he did. "Say please," she said.

"Please," he begged. "Oh, God, _please_."

Obediently, Gabrielle kissed the length of his erection, then took him into her mouth. Jack shuddered when she did. Two weeks of nothing but thinking about her with no other distraction, and now she was here in front of him, on her knees, looking up at him slightly with a cheeky gleam in her eyes. "Oh – oh – ahhh," Jack said as Gabrielle worked her magic with her mouth, and Jack descended into nonsensical noises of pleasure.

He erupted hard when he came, pouring himself into her mouth. He felt his knees buckle, and slid to the floor gracelessly. Even though he knew there were more skilled women out there then Gabrielle, he couldn't remember exploding like that. Was this love? Did love make sex a thousand times better?

"I'll be back in a sec," she said, and went to the bathroom to rinse her mouth out. She returned a minute later and sat down next to him. "Good?" she asked with a smug smile on her face.

"You know it was," he said, and he kissed her deeply. She tasted like Listerine. "Thanks," he said quietly when he pulled back. "Most women get offended."

"Most women didn't know, I take it?" she asked. It was a rhetorical question, one Jack didn't bother to answer. Even though they had never talked about it, Gabrielle had known Jack had a lot of issues about his sexuality that stemmed from Patrick's treatment of him. She had known without being told that he would hate the taste of it, and had rinsed her mouth out before he could ask. "Is it any different?" she asked. "Being with someone who knows, I mean?"

"Yeah. I mean, most of it is just that it's _you_. You know me better than anyone and that's worth way more then just knowing about what happened to me. But it's nice, not having to explain something like the blow-job thing." He leant his head on her shoulder. "Will Russel be home for dinner?"

She snuggled up to him. "I thought you wanted alone time with me," she said.

He laughed at her attempt at subtlety. "Relax. I'm not going to rat us out to him. I just was looking forward to seeing him again. You know I like him."

She relaxed at his reassurance. "He'll be home for dinner," she confirmed.

As promised, Russel came home shortly before dinner. "Jack!" he cried, running into Jack's arms.

Jack hoisted him easily up on his hip. "Heya, mate," he said, pleased that, unlike Rick Forlano Junior, Russel didn't consider himself too old for hugs. He wrapped his arms around Jack's neck and his legs around his waist as far as they would go. "How are things going?"

"Good," Russel said, burying his head in Jack's neck. He _was_ too old enough to admit that he had been counting down the days until Jack returned, patiently checking the calendar Jack had marked for him every day. More than once a day, Gabrielle would tell him later. Watching them together, she felt a little bad about insisting that they keep their relationship quiet for a while. He was clearly besotted with Russel – as besotted as Russel was of _him_. But Paula's words came back to her. Jack was a free agent, he could come and go as he pleased, and it wasn't fair on Russel to allow him to start seeing Jack as a father-figure until their relationship was more settled. As in, at least three months from now.

Jack walked Russel through the house and backyard as Russel's instruction, inspecting everything that had changed in the last five weeks while Gabrielle finished up dinner. Jack's eyes lit up when he saw it was roast beef – it had been his favourite of her meals. He wasn't a half-bad cook himself, but not being settled anywhere made it hard to cook well. "I missed this," he said.

"What, more than the Forlano's gourmet catering?" Gabrielle teased.

"Absolutely. They should have hired you and got twice as good food for half the price." Gabrielle squirmed at the compliment. Jack had complimented her cooking before, of course – but now things were different. Now he was her lover. At least, he had been for one night so far. She wondered if you were considered to be lovers after just one night, or you needed a second night to seal the deal. "You OK?" Jack asked, noting the way she blushed and looked distracted.

"Fine," she said, blushing harder when she saw him grin. He knew what she was thinking about, and she knew he knew it. _Later_, he mouthed at her.

Later turned out to be much later than either of them had intended – or wanted. Russel stayed up for much longer than his designated bedtime, not wanting to fall asleep because Jack was there, taking no notice of Jack's promise to be there in the morning – and every morning for the next eight sleeps. Jack had read him three books before he found the little boy had fallen asleep.

"Sorry about that," Jack said when he made his way to Gabrielle's room. It felt a bit strange, instigating things in the bedroom rather than the couch or kitchen counter or wherever the urge took them, like they were an old married couple, having skipped the _married_ and _old_ part.

"It's OK. It's nice that you spent so much time with him. I think it's more time than Steve's spent with him in the past year."

Jack climbed into bed and straddled her. "I don't want to hear that name," he said firmly. He kissed her deeply. "God, I've missed you," he said. He brought his hands up under her shirt. She was dressed for bed, so she wasn't wearing a bra, which was fine by Jack. He cupped her breasts, squeezing them, kneading them in his hands until she was squirming. She reached for his own shirt, pulling it up over his head, tossing it on the floor. She ran her hands over his chest, relishing the way he bucked at her touch.

Boldly, she leaned in to kiss his chest, running her tongue over his bare skin, making him moan with pleasure. He arched his back, pushing his crotch forward as he did, pushing his erection against her thigh. Gabrielle grinned wickedly. She got a thrill out of knowing she could turn Jack on like this.

Jack pulled Gabrielle's own shirt over her head and started kissing her breasts, licking her nipples, feeling them become hard in his mouth, first one, then the other. She writhed and moaned under his touch, his weight forcing her into the mattress. He kissed his way down her bare chest to the waistband on her tracksuit pants, then quickly discarded them. He paused to finger the elastic of her panties for a few seconds before yanking them down so she was completely naked.

He spent a few minutes returning the favour that she had bestowed upon him a few hours before, bringing her to orgasm with his hands and tongue before discarding his own pants and boxers and mounting her with surprising force. He had thought about little but her the last two weeks – something Brad had noticed and brought to his attention several times, every time with a knowing grin – and as sensational as the blow-job before had been, it was nothing compared to actually being inside her.

He started pumping her as gently as he could manage, but it wasn't long before they were going at it furiously. He lasted a surprising length of time before they climaxed together, their sweaty bodies as entwined as two bodies could get. Shaking, he withdrew from her and collapsed beside her. "I can't believe what you do to me," he panted.

"Really?" she asked. This was Jack, who had been with so many women – how was she so extraordinary?

"Absolutely. Or maybe it's just two weeks of doing nothing but thinking about you."

"Really? You let your patients have less than your undivided attention?" she half-teased, because she quite _liked_ the idea that he had done nothing but think about her for the last two weeks. Jack poked his tongue out at her in answer, and Gabrielle was unpleasantly surprised to realise that she had actually wanted a more concrete answer than that. "You really thought of me all fortnight? There was no-one else?" she found herself asking.

Jack looked at her quizzically. "Are you serious?" he asked, and Gabrielle shied away from him slightly. "There's no-one else," he said.

"But there were plenty of women before," she pressed, hating herself for the clingy, whiny tone in her voice. Trusting men had never been her strong point. At least not when it came to sex.

"Yeah," he agreed cautiously. It almost never ended well when his sexual history was brought up. "What's your point?"

"So you didn't find _anyone_ else attractive?" Gabrielle pressed.

Jack grimaced. This was exactly why he didn't like talking about sexual pasts – anyone's. What was done was done, and dredging it up usually only ended in jealousy. "That's totally not fair," he said. "Do you want me to never find anyone attractive ever again? Do _you_ plan on never finding anyone attractive ever again?" he pointed out.

"That's different. The main men in my life are my son, my brother and an assorted of the sick and injured," Gabrielle argued weakly. She knew Jack had a point, that it wasn't realistic or fair to expect that someone would never be attracted to anyone else again, but it was hard for her to know that there had been _so many_ women that he had been attracted to in the past – and those were only the ones that he had slept with.

Jack seemed to know this already. "Look, I can't promise you that I'm never going to look twice at another woman again. And I don't expect you not to find other men attractive. What I _can_ promise is that it won't go any further than a second glance. And I know you've heard that before, but have Iever given you reason to doubt me?"

"No," Gabrielle admitted.

"Good. Then I don't want to hear about it again. Besides, _you're_ the one who's got a kid to another man ten meters away." _Who you won't tell about us_, Jack added silently, because he knew there was nothing to be gained by bringing it up again.

Gabrielle didn't say anything to that, and the subject was dropped. But neither of them could let it go.

* * *

"It's hard," Gabrielle admitted to Julia a few days later when the two women were enjoying tea while overseeing Russel and Julia's son Billy playing in the front yard. Julia had mentioned that _Brad_ had mentioned that Jack played around a fair bit – and who would know better than his professional partner? Julia regretted bringing it up as soon as the words had left her mouth; while it was obvious to anyone that Jack was crazy about her – and more to the point, that he had never entirely _stopped_ being crazy about her – Gabrielle had never been all that secure when it came to men playing around.

It was times like these that Julia wanted to track Steve Taylor down and smack him good for the way he had ingrained Gabrielle with an inability to trust men. It was such a pity she hadn't started off with someone like Jack. Instead, she had gotten stuck with a no-good parasite who made her so doubtful of her ability to hold a man's attention that she _still_ wasn't able to shake it.

"You think he's letting his eye wander when he's working?" Julia asked. "'Cos Brad says – "

Gabrielle waved Julia's explanation away. "Oh, and I know that Jack isn't getting involved with anyone else," she said. "I get that in my head. It's just – "

"It's hard for you to get it in your heart," Julia offered. Gabrielle nodded. "You need to learn to trust him," she said. "He's not going to stick around if you don't. Do you know where you stand, anyway?" she was dying to now.

"Not exactly," Gabrielle admitted. "We're just... seeing how it goes. Russel doesn't even know about it."

Julia whistled at that. "How do you pull that one off?" she asked. Gabrielle explained; mostly because any romantic or sexual activities were strictly limited to when Russel wasn't around – which was mostly after he had gone to bed. "And he's OK with that?" Julia asked.

"Not exactly," Gabrielle admitted, which came as absolutely no surprise to Julia.

"Do you really think that's a good idea?" she asked. "Kids have a way of finding these things out. I'm a teacher, remember?" It never ceased to surprise Julia that, for as smart as all parents liked to think of their kids as being, none of them ever gave them the credit they deserved for being insightful when it came to things happening at home.

"Well, it's far better than something happening a few months down the track and Russel being heartbroken," Gabrielle argued. She ignored the look Julia gave her; that she should have far more faith in Jack – or Russel, for that matter.

* * *

"So let me get this straight. You get to crash rent-free, get to enjoy home-cooked country meals, have sex on demand with the only condition being that there's no-one else – and I know the hours you guys work, you wouldn't have the time anyway – and you have a problem with that? Mate, you have got to be the only guy who's _complaining_ that the girl doesn't want to go public."

Jack glared sullenly at Luke. He would have thought he of all people would understand, given the crap he and Paula went through with the spectre of Michael hanging over them. "She doesn't trust me," he complained. "She thinks I'm going to walk out on her and Russel. Which I wouldn't. Even if things didn't work between us, I wouldn't stop seeing them if they needed me."

For a second Luke thought about how different an attitude that was to the Jack that he had first met – or at least the Jack he had thought he knew. "Give her time," he suggested. "She's just scared that Russel will get hurt. You should have seen the hoops Paula made me jump through because of Max. Things will settle eventually. And take consolation out of the fact that you don't have Steve sniffing around."

Jack laughed at that; there _was_ consolation to be found in it. He had gleaned enough from Luke to know that you didn't want an ex sniffing around, using whatever leverage they had to wedge their way into your lives. Although he secretly thought that if Steve knew that he and Gabrielle were involved, he _would_ be sniffing around. Which, come to think of it, was kind of what Luke and Paula had had with Max and Michael. Michael, from what Jack understood, had demonstrated no interest whatsoever in Max until Luke and Paula had become engaged, then he had used his claim to Michael to monopolise Paula and drive a wedge between her and Luke. It wasn't so much a case of wanting them than not wanting anyone else to have them. Which Jack thought Steve was more than capable of doing if he knew that he and Gabrielle were involved.

Ex-boyfriends could be a bitch. Especially when they also had a parental claim. Then you _never_ got rid of them.

* * *

"Babe, I'm sorry. I'd forgotten all about it. I promised Bec and Charles _months_ ago. They planned it around my schedule. I can't tell them no now." So Jack tried to explain to Gabrielle, and somewhat half-heartedly. He could understand why Gabrielle was upset; _he_ was pretty upset himself. He had been looking forward to seeing Gabrielle again, having nothing more to do with his week off than spending it with her and Russel, and then Rebecca had reminded him that months ago he had promised to look after Callie for the week so they could have a week away together. Normally, he loved looking after Callie – dirty nappies and all – but now, he was sorely wishing he had never promised, and if it wasn't for the fact that Rebecca and Charles had forked out for a luxury eight days in Fiji, he would have retracted his promise, family obligation be damned.

"But Russel's been so looking forward to it. _I've_ been looking forward to it. Can't you just bring her down here?"

Jack laughed ruefully; he had already thought of that. Rebecca had made it clear that he wasn't to take Callie somewhere where medical care was anything less than what she could get in a major urban centre like Sydney. No doubt she had anticipated that he would want to spend his week off with Gabrielle. "I'm sorry," he said again. "I really want to see you. But I did promise her."

Gabrielle wanted to rage at him, but she knew better than to try and come between Jack and his sister. And while things had been wonderful during the time they had spent together, she had always known that it would be difficult for them, given that he was away two weeks out of three, and she couldn't even claim a monopoly on that remaining week. He had his own friends, his sister and niece, and she had her own commitments too. It had been unrealistic to think that other things wouldn't come in the way, and she had always known that.

It was just that the actual reality was a lot harder to deal with then the theoretical reality.

"I miss you," she said in a small voice.

"I miss you, too," Jack said. "I'll see you on my next week off. _That_ I promise." When he hung up, he went to check his planner to make sure that he had nothing else that he'd unknowing committed to that would come between him and time with Gabrielle.

* * *

"I'm always so jealous when I see you with Callie," Charlotte admitted, watching the way Jack interacted with his niece. You couldn't ask for a more devoted father, let alone uncle. "Sophia had zero interest in Zach growing up." Actually, for the first four years of Zach's life – before she had gotten involved with Adam – pretty much everyone in her life had zero interest in Zach. Her sister, Spence, her parents. Everyone but a few close friends, including Jack, who'd had every reason to show zero interest in Zach.

"You can't blame her. She was young," Jack said, fascinated by how _small_ Callie was – and at a year old, too.

"She was older than Rebecca is now," Charlotte scoffed. "Face it, Jack, some people just aren't parent material – or even aunt or uncle material."

"Never understood that," Jack admitted.

"Of course you didn't. You don't get it and you tend to surround yourself with people who don't get it, either."

"Guilty as charged," Jack said, and there was a tone in his voice that few people recognised – sometimes Charlotte thought she was the only one. It was that tone he used whenever he thought about the baby she had miscarried. Their closeness had been founded on their mutual grief, and while their friendship today was based on far more than that, it would always be something that they shared. He wasn't looking for sympathy and she didn't give it; rather, they both silently acknowledged their mutual loss, like they always did.

"How are things with Gabrielle?" Charlotte asked.

"Don't try and tell me you haven't already pumped Luke for information," Jack said.

"Alright... yeah," Charlotte admitted. As fond as they both were of Jack _now_, she and Luke went further back – to a time when Jack had been an arrogant smart-alec and neither of them could stand him. They both saw Jack as a kind of kid brother, and as such, they saw nothing wrong with sharing information when it came to a sibling's welfare. "But I wanted to hear it from you."

"It's hard," Jack admitted. "I mean – I knew it would be, but the reality is much more, well, _real_ than what I had thought. Brad and Julia made it look so easy."

"I'm sure – Brad and Julia – have it hard, they just don't show that side in public," Charlotte said. "Long-distance and FIFO relationships _are_ hard, Jack," she reminded him, thinking of her own relationship with Spence, which had last just a few months after he had returned to Somalia. "At least she still lives in the same state. And it's a small state, too. You could be living in Western Australia. Speaking of which – is Steve still based in New South Wales?" she asked.

"Yeah. It's a farming community close to Newcastle. It's actually very similar to Widgee. From what I understand, he's actually doing some good work there," Jack said, his tone suggesting that he was sorry he had heard that Steve was capable of doing good work somewhere that desperately needed good work to be done.

"You ever thought of doing that yourself?" Charlotte asked.

"Live in Newcastle?"

"Work in a rural community. How different would it be from what you're doing now?"

"I _like_ what I'm doing now," Jack said. "Y'know how Adam was wishing the hospital would set up the MRU again because it was amazing what they were doing? That's what I do with the Flying Doctors, only more so. It wouldn't be the same staying in one place and operating what's basically a glorified GP." Of course, Jack knew running a rural clinic was not the same as a 'glorified GP', but he still didn't think it would compare to working with the Flying Doctors. "Besides, I don't think Gabrielle _wants_ me to do it."

"I don't get it." She had never forgotten how heartbroken she had been to realise that Spence would never be happy working in Sydney, that his calling with Somalia. If there had been any hope that he could settle in one place, she would have done everything in her power to make him feel wanted. She couldn't understand why Gabrielle wouldn't do the same.

"She doesn't want that kind of commitment from me. I think she _likes_ having this casual thing where she has her own life and I don't disrupt it too much."

"Jack, you know she cares about you."

"Yeah, I get that much." Jack thought about the times he spent with her and Russel, and knew you didn't have that kind of camaraderie with a person – with _two_ people, as a kind of family, no matter what Russel might say – without caring about them. "I just think she's keeping me at arm's length and keeping this major part of her life – her _main_ life – compartmentalised that I'm not a part of."

"Jack, she's just being cautious. She hasn't had the best luck with men." _That_ was a major understatement. Charlotte had been relieved when Steve had taken up the position with the MRU, even though in doing so he had screwed the ED over royally. She had found the man selfish in everything he did, and had been relieved that he was no longer under her command. And if that was the way he acted in his professional life, who knew how selfish he could be in his private life?

"I get that," he said. "It's just... _hard_. I mean, I've wanted this for years, but it's a lot harder than I thought it would be. I feel like I'm competing with Steve, or trying to prove that I'm _not_ like Steve, or..."

"Must be hard for someone who's always been smarter and better look and more successful than everyone else to have to measure up to someone else," Charlotte teased. "Give it time, Jack. And keep things in perspective – she doesn't even live on the other side of the state. And if you're anything like you are with Callie when you're with Russel – or Zach, for that matter - then it won't be too long before you're part of the family and neither of them will ever want you to leave."

"Thanks," Jack said dryly. "But I don't want to wait that long."

* * *

"I'm _coming_," Jack said irritably when the doorbell rang incessantly. He had just gotten Callie to sleep and didn't want her being woken by the ringing. _And I bet it's Jehovah's Witnesses, too_, he thought. Rebecca had said they were a nuisance in this part of Sydney; or at least they had been until she had applied her considerable intellect and atheism to their arguments. If they woke up his niece, they were going to get it. "Whatever it is, I'm not interest so get – " Jack stopped dead in his tracks and clamped his mouth shut when he saw Gabrielle on the doorstep, massive tote bag in hand.

"Thought I was someone else?" she asked with a grin.

"Jehovah's Witnesses. Bec says she has trouble with them."

"Your sister, trouble with a few bible-bashers?" Gabrielle asked disbelievingly. I find that hard to believe. When Jack laughed in acknowledgement, she knew that she was right. Come to think of it, she missed Rebecca, and wished there was a way she could be in Sydney more often. "Aren't you going to invite me in?" she asked.

"Sure." Jack stepped aside. "Just be quiet, I just got Callie to sleep. What are you doing here?"

Gabrielle had to laugh at that. "I like that your concern for your niece is more important that your interest in my being here," she said. "I thought I'd come see you, since you couldn't come to me."

"You said you couldn't get away."

"I put the screws on Caitlin, reminded her of everything I've done for her over the years," she said. "Besides, Russel needs to learn to play nice with the twins. They might be the ones who inherit the farm. Aren't you glad to see me?" she asked, worried for a second that Jack had found something – or some_one_ – else to occupy his time after it had been established they couldn't spend the week together.

"Of course I am, Gabs. I'm just – surprised." Add to the fact Gabrielle had arrived just hours after his conversation with Charlotte and it felt a bit disconcerting to be seeing her. "But I'm happy you're here. Come here," he said, stepping towards her. He took the bag out of Gabrielle's hand and dropped it on the floor. She was all-too-happy to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him deeply. He lifted her up and she loved the way he could make her feel so light and feminine. "I've missed you," he said huskily. "This is harder than I thought it would be."

"I know," she said thickly. She tightened her grip around his neck as if she could physically keep him close to her, and not just for this next week. She found herself wishing that she had brought Russel with her. Between him and Callie, well, they were practically a family and it was so easy to think of them doing family things together...

God, how she wished her life had taken a different turn those years ago. How different her life would have been if it had been _Jack_ there for her that night. She thought about the life Steve had envisioned for themselves, before reality kicked in and he'd become bored – a life where they were married with several kids, raising and family and running a farm. She and Jack could have had that life.

She caught herself in her daydream. Jack would _hate_ farm life. At least Steve was passionate about it – possible the one thing that he actually _was_ passionate about. No doubt if she and Jack were to try and make a more permanent relationship work, reality would soon enough set in and Jack would grow just as bored and restless as Steve had become, and then she would be right where she started, a single mother.

Better to keep things the way they were. Better to not be hurt and disappointed again.

She smiled up at Jack as seductively as she could, even though he repeatedly told her how much he loved her _because_ of how natural and unpretentious she was. "Take me to bed," she whispered, pushing all thoughts of something more than what they had from her mind.

* * *

Occasionally, Steve Taylor remembered that he had a son with stronger conviction than he usually did, and he would think that it was about time he caught up with the little boy. At first, Gabrielle had admonished him for what little time he spent with Russel, not understanding that it was _work_ to run a rural clinic (conveniently forgetting that she pretty much did the same thing) but after a while she seemed to come to her senses. Or at least, she nagged him less. Steve thought this made him a better father, not so resentful about having to spend time with his son because he _should_, not because he actually wanted to. You couldn't _force_ someone to be a parent now, could you? (Steve conveniently forgot that he had dumped all the parenting responsibilities on Gabrielle when they had broken up.) And he had a girlfriend who was only twenty-one (he had told Gabrielle twenty-seven) who didn't much like being reminded that she was dating someone old enough to have a four-year-old child. So he didn't have much to do with Russel, but occasionally, he put in the effort.

Now was one of these times. His girlfriend was away for a few weeks, and he was bored, and it occurred to him that he should spend some time with him. He called the Jaeger farm.

"Hello?" It was Caitlin Jaeger – Steve remembered when she had been Caitlin Warren, toddling around, screaming her lungs out – someone Steve liked no more as a woman than he had as a child. One of Widgee's teachers, she was a mentor of Julia Croft and, in Steve's opinion, never was there such a similar personality – a nagging, judgemental shrew. She considered her position in Russel's life as his aunt to be far superior to that of Steve's as his father. _Time spent is far more important than DNA_, she had said loftily – and more than once. She had made it clear exactly what she thought of Steve not seeing Russel that much. Steve thought she was a judgemental cow; she thought he was a deadbeat dad.

They couldn't stand each other.

"Cait," Steve said, because he knew Caitlin hated being called Cait by people who weren't close to her. "Is Russel around? Things are a little quiet here and I thought I might come down, spend a few days with him." Of course, things were _never_ quiet when you were talking about a clinic in an isolated area that was lucky to have the two doctors that it currently did, but pleading parental responsibility was always good for leeway.

"He is," Caitlin said cautiously. "But it's not really a good time right now. Gabby's not around and she won't like you taking Russel without her knowing."

Steve gritted his teeth. He hated Caitlin's holier-than-thou attitude. Russel was his _son_ for heaven's sake, he was entitled to see the boy – and take him back here, if he wanted. It wasn't like he would even be crossing state lines. "Fine, I'll call back later," he said, assuming Gabrielle was on the farm somewhere or at the hospital.

"She's in Sydney for the week," Caitlin said.

"She doesn't know anyone in Sydney," Steve said, this bit of information going down like a hunk of lead. He knew _exactly_ who she knew in Sydney. Charlotte, Adam, Claire – and Jack.

He had disliked Jack on sight, over seven years ago now, when the younger doctor had acted all superior because he was city born-and-bred. And when Jack and Gabrielle had started to grow close – men who slept around like Jack did were never 'just friends' with women. Steve had never gotten over the belief that they had slept together, and he had always been more than a little insecure about the comparison.

And now she was in Sydney. For a week. And Jack was a born-and-bred Sydney boy.

"Jack's not from Sydney, not exactly," Caitlin said. "He's a friend of Brad Walker's, through the Flying Doctors. I think he's in Sydney for the week to look after his niece."

Momentarily, Steve wondered how Jack had ended up with the Flying Doctors. Jack didn't seem the type to take to country work like that. He would be bored out of his skull. Not to mention he would alienate everyone with his superiority complex when it came to 'country hicks'. Steve wondered what Jack was up to, joining the Flying Doctors, and he couldn't help but wonder if it was some kind of elaborate plan to get close to Gabrielle again. Single mother, not many prospects - Steve bet Gabrielle had just been ripe for the picking, and Jack had known it perfectly well.

He had no interest in Gabrielle sexually or romantically, and hadn't for several years now. But he didn't want Jack Quade to have her, either.

"Do you have a number for her?" Steve asked.

Caitlin immediately realised that she had said too much. She didn't know much about the history between Steve and Jack – or, more correctly, the tension caused by their mutual affection for Gabrielle – but she knew enough that the two men couldn't stand each other and both though the other was bad for her. "Sorry, I don't know," she lied. "Try her mobile," she suggested, knowing full well that Gabrielle had switched her mobile off and told everyone she was to be contacted at Rebecca and Charles's house. _Good luck getting hold of _her, she thought. And she hung up.

_She hung up!_ Steve thought, infuriated. Well, it wouldn't be that hard to find the number. Rebecca had spent a lot of time in the ED when Jack had been there, and had been popular with the staff, enough that they had started to think of her as their own, and details like her last name become common knowledge. She had an alliterative name. Roberts, Ryan – _Rowe_. That was it, Rowe. Of course, she was married now, but it couldn't be too hard to find out her married name.

* * *

"Mmm. I think I need to surprise you more often," Gabrielle said. It had been three days since she had arrived at Rebecca and Charles's house, and they hadn't done much outside the bedroom. Well, other than looking after Callie, which Gabrielle was finding to be a sensational experience. Steve had never been much of a hands-on father – his vision of fatherhood didn't stretch earlier than tossing a football around in the backyard – so spending time with Jack and Callie, acting like a family, was a new experience, and a very pleasurable one at that. She stretched out and then cuddled up into Jack, stroking her fingers across his chest. "You sure they won't mind me being here?"

"Anyone but you and Bec would be pitching a fit," Jack said. "She always liked you."

"I didn't realise. I got the impression she thought I was beneath both of you."

Jack laughed. Rebecca gave that impression a lot. Jack had a feeling he did the same thing right back; it was only now that Charles was daring to say how intimidated he had been by him at first. "Unless she was calling you a slut to your face and engineering to trip you up literally and figuratively, she liked you," he said. _I guess you really had to see her with Deanna to know what I mean_. "She always really liked you. She was like a meddling mother with her suggestive little hints when you weren't around. She doesn't like me having people over – " by _people_, they both knew he meant _women_, but Gabrielle was wise enough not to dwell on that, let alone bring it up. " – But for you, I think she'd make an exception."

"Heh. I never realised she liked me that much." Which was a pleasant change to the non-existent relationship she had with Steve's sisters. He had spent most of his adult life wrecking his relationship with them through his drinking, and by the time he sobered up, the damage was done and they had no interest in being involved with him at all – and that extended to anyone he was involved with, including his son and his son's mother. Once again, she found herself comparing Steve and Jack – in this case, the difference in the relationships they had with their family. Jack only had one family member that he cared for – and unlike Steve, he had every reason not to want anything to do with the rest of his family – but they had a very special relationship, and Rebecca would make one hell of a sister-in-law... and aunt. She'd certainly given Caitlin a run for her money. Gabrielle grinned at that. The two young women were about the same age, and had similar forthright personalities. They were bound to either get along brilliantly or hating each other's guts.

"What are you thinking about?" Jack asked. Gabrielle told him, and he smiled too. What little he had seen of Caitlin – well, she actually reminded him a lot of Gabrielle. Which was probably why she and Caitlin were a lot alike. They said men fell for women who reminded them of their mothers, but since Jack lacked a healthy mother figured, it made sense that he would fall for someone who reminded him of his sister – and, actually, why Ben Jaeger would do the same thing. "I think you're right," he said, and there was a wistful tone in his voice that he suggested he wouldn't mind finding out exactly how the two young women would get along. It was so easy to imagine the six of them, with all their kids, one big, happy, extended family.

And then he remembered that Gabrielle didn't even want Russel to know that they were seeing each other. And Jack wasn't even sure that they _were_ seeing each other. Was a standing one-week-in-three friends-with-benefits relationships arrangement 'seeing each other'?

Damnit, how had things actually managed to get _more_ complicated than they had when they had both been working at All Saints?

Gabrielle thought about asking Jack what he was thinking about, but judging from the expression on his face, she wasn't sure if that was a good idea. She was saved from asking by Callie's crying. Reluctantly, Jack pushed her off him. "Gotta get that," he said. He slipped into his jeans and buttoned up his shirt as he left the room to the nursery where Callie was in her crib. He lifted his niece gently out and cradled her in his arms. "Hey, princess," he cooed. "It's alright. Uncle Jack's here."

Gabrielle watched Jack handling Callie with an expert touch that belied the fact he didn't have any children of his own, then followed him downstairs to the kitchen where he fixed her a bottle. It was enchanting to watch him feed Callie and she found herself wishing once more that it had been Jack there for her that fateful night – not that Jack would have allowed things to go as far as they had – but she knew he would have handled Russel with the same tenderness and love. "What?" Jack asked when he saw Gabrielle looking at him with a curious expression on her face.

"Just thinking that you're a born dad," she said.

"I get that a lot," he admitted, flashing her a private smile. "Never found anyone I wanted to settle down with, though."

"Maybe you weren't looking hard enough," she said provocatively.

"Maybe she wasn't noticing."

She returned his private smile, and their connected look drew them – and Callie, and Russel, and the spectre of future children and families – into a world of their own where Steve's shadow had never hung over them, always in the way. For a moment, it was just them, and had only ever been them, and all the years and all the complications fell away...

There was a knock on the door, and Jack jumped, bursting out of the reverie, and Callie squealed when Jack automatically tightened his hold on her. "Sorry," he said, to both Callie and Gabrielle before focusing his attention on Gabrielle. "I have to get that. I bet this time it _is_ the Jehovah's Witnesses."

He opened the door, and immediately wished it _was_ the Jehovah's Witnesses. "What the hell are you doing here? How the fuck did you get this address?" Jack asked Steve Taylor. He hadn't seen the older man since he had left All Saints, and after a few second's once-over, he was secretly pleased to note that he was looking his age. He had to be close to forty-five, and the twenty years he had spent drinking hadn't exactly helped him looked youthful. _Old enough to be a grandfather_, Jack thought snidely.

"Nice to see you too, Quade," Steve said, with all the snideness that Jack had been thinking. Jack made a mental note that at least he had the good grace to keep his snideness to himself. "I was told the mother of my child was here. Nice place you've got here – can't afford you own?" he asked, taking advantage of the fact Jack couldn't block his way with Callie in his arms and stepping into the house. It didn't surprise him in the least that Jack's snooty kid sister could afford a place like this. The two of them had always been so better-than-you when it came to, well, _everything_ in Steve's opinion.

Jack glowered at Steve. So what if he didn't have a place of his own, it wasn't like it was very _practical_ with the life he lived. "I have a few investment properties, but I don't see the point in keeping one of them free and not getting the rent on it just in case I decided to come to Sydney," he replied, enjoying throwing it back in Steve's face that he was quite well-off financially. Actually, very well-off, thanks to what he'd been left by his mother and then Mary. "It's nice to be financially independent and not _have_ to work."

Gabrielle gritted her teeth. It came as no surprise to her that Steve and Jack had picked up right where they had left off – bickering like two alpha males in the sandpit. "Jack," she said warningly, trying to appeal to his better sense – and trying to forget that on the occasion that the two men _had_ come to blows, it had been Jack who had thrown the punch.

Steve smiled smugly at Jack. He'd always held Jack responsible for everything bit of antagonism that had gone on between them, not to mention everything that had gone wrong with him and Gabrielle. "Listen to the lady," he said.

Gabrielle glowered at him. "Don't you start," she said in a voice that he was all-too-familiar with. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"I wanted to see Russel. That little twit said you were here."

"I take it you mean Caitlin," Gabrielle said. Caitlin and Steve had taken an instant dislike to one another. Gabrielle suspected it was because he had hit on her; she wasn't too young for him – at least not by his standards – and a little thing like being the aunt of his only child wasn't something that make a ding on his moral compass. "And so? It's not like this means I'm lagging behind you in the parenting stakes."

"You shouldn't have left him without telling me," Steve said sullenly, knowing perfectly well that Gabrielle was in the right. He couldn't exactly accuse her of being a bad parent for wanting a week away and leaving Russel in capable hands; he knew he himself had left the boy in less-than-capable hands when he had wanted time away with his girlfriend, and had sworn Russel to silence over it. _You're mum won't let you come over again_. Which was actually true enough; Gabrielle would no doubt pitch a fit and call DOCS if she found out he had let a three-year-old run around unattended, like that would hurt the kid.

No, Steve couldn't fault Gabrielle as a parent. But it galled him that she was shacked up with Jack Quade, of all people. Anyone else, and he could have dealt with it – although part of him would always see Gabrielle as 'his'. But still – why Quade, of all people? What was it about the guy that she had never been able to get him out of her head? "I don't have to tell you what I'm doing every minute of the day, Steve," Gabrielle said. "If you want to see Russel, call next week and I'll organise it. I'm not screwing Caitlin around when I'm not even there. She was nice enough to take care of Russel when I asked," she couldn't resist adding pointedly. Actually, she hadn't even needed to ask – Caitlin had just worked out that Jack wouldn't be coming by this week and why, and had volunteered from then. Which was far more than Steve had ever offered.

"But I want to see him _now_," Steve whined.

"Then go to the farm and spend a few days with him there," Gabrielle offered, knowing full well that he wouldn't stay at the Jaeger farm if it meant never seeing Russel again. Everyone there heartily disliked and disapproved of him for the way he neglected Russel – and Gabrielle.

Steve glowered at Gabrielle's two options, knowing full well that there wasn't much he could do about it. He couldn't exactly go complaining to a judge that his son's mother was denying him the access that he wanted _right this very minute_ when he had a pretty patchy history of paying attention to the boy. Family court judges tended to side with the custodial parent, especially when the non-custodial parent made so little effort. Which just infuriated him more. Gabrielle could, if she wanted to, keep Russel from him for months – and Russel was at an impressionable age where he could be made to believe anything Gabrielle wanted him to believe.

That was, anything Gabrielle and _Jack_ wanted him to believe. Steve had no doubt that Jack had been spending his time on the Jaeger farm worming his way into Russel's heart. Steve couldn't deny that the younger man had a knack with kids – a knack Steve himself knew he'd never had. It had never bothered him before – actually, it had been a blessing at times, because unruly child patients could always be foisted onto Jack – but now the knowledge infuriated Steve. Jack was on his turf, worming his way into the hearts of his son and Gabrielle.

Speaking of which... slyly, Steve remembered how vocal Gabrielle had been about his girlfriend staying over when Russel was there. Said it confused the poor boy about who his parents were and it sent the wrong message; better not to expose Russel to anything until the relationship was established. Steve had thought – and still thought – that Gabrielle was simply jealous, but it occurred to him now that Gabrielle might actually be following her own advice. "He know about you guys?" he asked.

Gabrielle paled visible, and Steve knew he had hit a nerve. "There's no need for him to know," she said. "We talked about it. No point in getting his hopes up." She said that last sentence with as much emphasis as she could manage, hoping Steve would get the point; that he hadn't exactly inspired a lot of hope in Russel himself.

"I'll do you a deal," Steve said. "Let me see Russel and I won't say anything about this – _thing_ – that you have going." He put stress on the word _thing_ to emphasis the fact he didn't think Jack capable of anything more substantial than a 'thing'.

Gabrielle glowered. It was blackmail, and yet – she couldn't exactly deny _either_ of them, Steve or Russel, the right to see each other. "When?" she asked.

Steve thought quickly. If Jack and Brad were partners, they would be on the same two-weeks-on, one-week-off roster. "Weekend fortnight," he said, naming the next weekend Jack would have off. He couldn't stand the thought of Jack being all pally with his son. _His son_, Steve thought irritably. What was it with Quade and always stepping on his turf? It had been over six years since they had last seen each other, and the man was doing the exact same thing that he had always done – trying to get in between Steve and what was his.

Well, he wasn't taking Russel for his own. Not if Steve had anything to say about it. Russel was his _son_, after all. And he would see him when he damn well wanted.

Gabrielle glared at him. She knew damn well that Steve had deliberately chosen Jack's next weekend off. And so did Jack. "That's Sophia's birthday," he protested, and Gabrielle's heart sank. She had promised Jack that she would be there – and promised _Russel_ that he could go. The little boy was excited about going to a party where there would be more kids around his age than there were people on the entire farm.

"Who's Sophia?" Steve asked. "Another one of your conquests?"

"She's my goddaughter, you perverted sleaze," Jack spat. Actually, she wasn't – he and Luke hadn't been friends at the time Sophia had been baptised, and besides, Luke's mum had made it clear that over her dead body was anyone but a good Irish Catholic boy being Sophia's godfather – but it sounded good. "Gabrielle?" Jack asked, looking directly at her, rather pointedly. She could say no if she wanted; Steve could always see Russel another time. And if Steve was only using Russel as a means to drive a wedge between them, well, he would lose interest quickly enough and Russel would be better off for it. Better to have a man who had no interest in him than a man who showed him sporadic attention whenever he had an axe to grind.

Gabrielle took stock of the situation. She knew damn well that Steve had shown up because he had found out that she was seeing Jack, and he couldn't stand the thought of Jack having anything to do with her, let alone Russel. She worried that Steve would quickly lose interest in Russel and break the boy's heart. And yet – the boy was his _son_. She couldn't deny him the right to see him. She couldn't deny _Russel_ the right to see his father – no matter how good Jack might be with him. "Fine," she said. "I'm not going to say anything, though. That way he won't be disappointed," she added pointedly. Steve had the decency to look guilt. "Just show up on the Friday. And if he wants to stay with me, you're not to make a fuss about it. And no going over there before I get home."

"Fine," Steve said, confident that if Russel had the choice between spending the week with his dad and spending the week in Sydney, he'd choose his dad. It wasn't like he wanted to spend any more time than necessary at the Jaeger farm, anyway, and Caitlin would more likely than not call the police on him if Gabrielle wasn't there to explain. He flashed a triumphant grin and Jack, and Jack glowered back.

"Was there anything else?" Gabrielle asked pointedly.

"Nope."

"Then get out."

Steve opened his mouth to protest – he was, after all, Russel's father, and as such, he had certain rights from Russel's mother – but decided it wasn't worth the hassle. "I'll be buy Friday afternoon," he said. "You'd better not be messing with me." He said this more for Jack's benefit than Gabrielle's.

"As if I would," Gabrielle said, wondering how Steve could possibly think that she'd jeapordise time between him and Russel, when it was Steve himself who had had so little do with Russel – and was only now expressing interest because he had realised Jack was back on the scene. Gabrielle had no illusions about _that_. "Just – be there by Friday afternoon. I won't say anything so he won't be disappointed if you don't show," she repeated, making it clear that she thought precisely that would happen.

Steve left. Where to, Gabrielle had no idea. He knew no-one in Sydney; she was surprised he had made the effort to come, as a matter of fact. But then, that was Steve when it came to Jack.

"I can't believe you're letting him take Russel. _You_ said it would be great for him to be around more kids his own age," Jack reminded her. He knew damn well that Steve had chosen that week because it was the next one he had off – and he knew that Gabrielle knew it.

"I know... but Russel _needs_ to see him, Jack," Gabrielle reminded Jack as gently as she could.

"When was the last time he did anything for him?" Jack asked, not needing to add the silent, _like I have_.

"He's his father," she reminded him. Jack scowled. He knew perfectly well that Steve was Russel's father; he didn't need any reminding on _that_ score, thankyouverymuch. As if being the provider of the sperm automatically made you a good parent. Didn't Gabrielle _get_ that? "He has a right to see him," Gabrielle said when Jack pointed that out, reluctant to say what they were both thinking.

"More than I do," Jack finished her off.

"Yeah."

Jack started to say something, then reconsidered. Gabrielle had clearly made up her mind. "Fine," he said. "Don't expect me to be sympathetic when he gets bored and break's Russel's heart. Or yours, for that matter."

As if on cue, Callie started to cry, as if Jack had _willed_ her to provide him an excuse to end the conversation. He walked off with his niece in his arms, leaving Gabrielle standing in the hall, barely able to grasp what had happened. Steve had come in, demanded access to Russel after not seeing him for over a year, pretty much because he had gotten wind of the fact _Jack_ was paying him attention. They had picked up their antagonism and rivalry right where they had left it off - _over six freaking years ago_.

Gabrielle sighed. Once upon a time, she had thought it was lovely to have two men rivalling for her attention – and affection. Now, she resented being caught between their macho bullshit. She only hoped that _one_ of them got bored or back down before Russel got his heart br


	4. Chapter 4

"You're going to be a stunner, just like you're mum. I bet you're going to grow up to be a heartbreaker," Jack said, lying on his back and holding Callie up in the air. The one-year-old – who did indeed have her mother's blond hair and fair complexion, as well as both her mother and uncle's chameleon aqua-grey eyes – squealed with delight.

"If you're planning on setting her up with Zach, forget about it," Paula said, an amused smile playing on her face. She was sitting on the floor next to Jack from where she could watch Sophia and a friend playing in the backyard. "Charlotte has already bagsed Sophia for him – and Luke completely agrees. You'll have to go for Russel."

"Rossi's a good Italian name," Luke said from a few meters away. He was sitting at the table, pretending to double-check the household accounts while he was actually watching his daughter out of the corner out of his eye with a view on Paula, Jack and his niece at the same time. There was never a born father than Jack, and it was pleasant to watch them while pretending to do manly, house-management things. "Besides, unless I'm mistaken, Jack plans for Callie to grow up thinking of Russel as her cousin."

"Really?" Paula asked, her interest piqued. Jack blushed noticeably at that, and Paula shrieked with approving laughter. "I had no idea things had progressed so far with you. Heh, I owe Charlotte a girl's night out."

"It's not what you think," Jack said, trying not to be miffed that Paula, Luke, Charlotte and Adam clearly had no qualms about talking about him and Gabrielle behind their backs. "Besides, if bloody Steve keeps interfering, nothing's going to happen."

"He has a right to see his son, Jack," Paula reminded him gently. That got a snort of derision from Luke and a warning look from Paula.

"I don't see why, since he's ignored the kid for, like, a year, and only got interested when he found out _I_ was on the scene," Jack complained. This earned a grunt of approval from Luke, and another warning look from Paula.

"It won't last," she said in a surprisingly brittle voice. "Just wait it out and he'll lose interest."

Jack went to say something then realised that perhaps he would be better off keeping his mouth shut – at least while Luke was around. There was a definite undercurrent there. (And come to think of it, Max was nowhere to be seen. While he had an extremely rocky relationship with his step-father, he adored his kid half-sister and would normally be around on the day of her birthday party.) Jack figured whatever it was, it would be better to talk to Paula alone.

Before long, Luke excused himself to do a bottle-shop run. "You want to tell me what's up?" he asked gently. He figured discussing the problems in your marriage wasn't something that came easy. Not that he would know.

Tearily, Paula explained. When Luke had refused to pay for Max's arts degree – regardless of how reasonable everyone _else_ thought he was being – Max had gone to Michael. That Michael, who only had one child – Max – and was more than capable of funding the degree seemed to be beyond the comprehension of both of them (and no-one else), and Michael had fuelled Max's resentment with talk about Luke being spiteful and not wanting Max to have the same opportunities that he gave to his two biological children. He had allowed Max to drink – something Paula was constantly berating him for – and Max had come home drunk and full of bitterness over what he saw as Luke's spite and tight-fistedness. Max and Luke had very nearly come to blows, and Paula had considered it to be the lesser of two evils to have Max stay with Michael than have him at Sophia's party in his current mood. He was no doubt with Michael, still drinking and still being filled with ideas, but at least he wasn't spouting off at Sophia's party. Luke _would_ hit him over that, Paula had no doubt. He had done his best to accommodate his step-son – many said he had gone way beyond what could be humanly expected of someone – but at the end of the day, Rick and Sophia _would_ come first, and disrupting Sophia's birthday party with his vitriol would be the straw that broke the camel's back. And Paula knew that she couldn't entirely blame him.

"I don't know what to do with them sometimes," Paula admitted sadly. "I never expected them to love each other, but they could have respected one another at least. But Max just _hates_ Luke sometimes."

"He's just a kid," Jack said, the words ringing false even to himself; it was hard to play the kid stakes when you were looking at university options. "I didn't stop hating my stepmother until I was thirty."

"You're stepmother was a bitter old hag who did nothing while you were being sexually abused," Paula pointed out. "She deserved to be hated."

"I'll concede that," Jack admitted. He embraced Paula, his heart going out to her – and his heart burning over that ungrateful little shit, not to mention his spiteful, meddling father. What was it with some men who wouldn't let go? Especially when _they_ had been the ones to let go in the first place? Some men, he was unfortunately getting firsthand experience in realising, just couldn't stand the thought of anyone else wanting their cast-offs – even if they had cast them off years ago.

He hoped Gabrielle never found out that he had thought of her as a 'cast-off'.

"Just do your best to pull yourself together and enjoy Sophia's party," he said. "You don't want to give Michael the satisfaction of knowing you didn't give your all to your daughter because of his being a jerk." Paula nodded against his chest. Jack could feel her tears seeping through the material of his shirt and not for the first time it struck him as funny that he was on such an intimate level with Luke Forlano's wife. There was a time when Luke wouldn't have trusted him to be alone with any female he cared about. _A lot can happen in ten years_. "And don't tell me it's because I'm like a brother to you," Jack said when he brought it up.

"Then... you're like having a gay friend," Paula said with a teasing smile. She knew Jack had a homophobic streak the size of the Murray-Darling.

Jack made a face. Paula was one of the few people who could get away with a comment like that. "I think I preferred brother," he said.

* * *

The party, thankgod, was going well. It was wonders what a nap, a shower and several shots of vodka could do, Jack thought as he watched Paula. He could see that she was still a little frazzled but hopefully that was only because he knew she had been deeply upset only a few hours ago (probably still was), and why.

Sophia Forlano was a popular little girl. She had her mother's looks, her father's intelligence and some intangible quality that made her sweet and charming and not the least bit stuck-up despite her privilege upbringing. Jack felt a twist of envy in his heart that was becoming increasingly familiar. He'd love a daughter like Sophia – or Callie – or a son like Rick or Zach or Russel – and was more and more wishing that he had been able to find someone that he'd wanted to settle down with in the intervening years.

Unfortunately the only woman he'd ever had any inclination towards settling down with had had her own relationship issues throughout those years.

He watched Gabrielle analytically. For all that she claimed to be a dyed-in-the-wool country girl, it was obvious that being around so many new and different people familiar with subjects outside rural life was stimulating her. Which was good, because as much as he was able to settle anywhere, he had too many roots in Sydney to only spend a few weekends a year here; he needed to settle down with someone who could be at home here.

He wondered if Gabrielle had ever thought along the lines that he was thinking now – that he had been thinking along for some time now.

After a while, Gabrielle came over to him. She leaned against him and he wrapped his arm around her waist. "Having fun?" he asked.

"Yeah. I wish Russel could be here. Next time, I promise," she added before Jack could say anything. She scrambled for something to change the subject to. "Is something up with Paula?" she asked. "She seems a bit off. And I think she's had more to drink than that glass of wine she's been nursing."

Jack had to laugh at that. Trust Gabrielle, who had spent so much of her life with a man who had known every trick in the book when it came to hiding his drinking, to pick up on the fact that Paula had had more than that 'one glass of wine'. "You'll have to ask her," he said. "It's really between her and Luke."

"Then how come you know?"

"Because I happened to be there when she needed someone to talk to," Jack said. It was all he would say on the matter. Gabrielle remembered that Jack had another life – it was easy to think that it was all about her and the Flying Doctors, and when he was partnered with a good friend of hers, that kind of made it an extension of his life with her – and she felt a little envious about it. She wanted to be part of Jack's life entirely, and she was surprised at how strongly she felt that.

"Everything OK?" Gabrielle asked discreetly a little while later when she engineered a way to get Paula alone in the kitchen.

"Sorry?" Paula asked, actually doing a very good impression of someone who had only had one glass of wine.

"I was involved with an alcoholic for a long time," Gabrielle said. "If there were degrees in telling when people have had more to drink than they say they've had, I'd have my PhD. I just wanted to know if everything was OK." Which was a pretty stupid thing to say; if you were drinking significantly on your six-year-old daughter's birthday, than things clearly were _not_ OK.

Paula explained briefly. If anyone would understand, it would be Gabrielle – hadn't they both been single mothers trying to walk the line between doing the right thing by their boyfriends and doing the right thing by their sons? Gabrielle listened in sympathetic silence. She had already gleaned from Luke that Michael Morgan wasn't the most understanding of men, but she had figured part of that was just Luke's resentment of Paula's first husband. Maybe the guy _was_ just a first-class jerk. "I wish I'd never let him back into our lives," Paula said. "He's done nothing but fill Max's head with bitterness and resentment. Luke would have been a decent stepfather to him, maybe even a father – look at Adam with Zach – but instead he's full of all these imagined slights. And I don't know what Michael even thinks he's getting out of it, unless disrupting my family was his goal."

"I'm sorry," Gabrielle said, helpless to do anything. She had known, in the abstract, that such spiteful people existed in the world, but to actually see the effect it had on decent people like the Forlanos –

"Jack says he'll get over it. Said he hated his stepmother until he was thirty."

"Jack's stepmother –" Gabrielle started to say.

"Yeah, I said that," Paula said with a wry grin. They were part of the small group that knew what Jack had suffered in his childhood. Paula shifted her gaze to Jack, who was with Sophia. "I could never decide if he's as good with children as he is because of what happened to him – because he knows the important of a happy childhood – or if he was just hardwired that way." She shrugged. In a way, it didn't matter _how_ he had come to be as good with children as he was; only that he _was_ so good with him. "Don't let Steve worm his way into Russel's life like that. Don't let him use him to get between you. You might think that it's good for him to have his father around, but if Steve's motives aren't good, it's only going to end badly for all of you."

Gabrielle felt a shiver run down her spine. She had no doubt that part of Paula's words stemmed from bitterness, not to mention whatever she had drunk before that glass of wine, but even so, she knew that there was some truth to what the older woman was saying.

* * *

It was moments like these that Steve was supremely pleased with the way Russel had turned out. The boy was supremely intelligent, not to mention extremely well-educated for the fact he didn't yet qualify for primary school. Gabrielle had seen to it that he was an extremely well-read and knowledgeable five-year-old. Not to mention he had a thorough understanding of how things worked on a farm. Not that that really helped Steve; he had a large hobby farm and a few chickens and a horse, but it was a far cry to the five-digit acre farm that he had grown up with.

Still, it showed that the boy was a farm boy through-and-through, and with inheritance matters unsettled (Gabrielle and Ben currently held half-interest each, and while they had agreed that to keep it as an operational farm, it needed to go in tact to either Russel or one of the twins, who it went in tact to was so far undecided) it was good for him to demonstrate himself as a competent farmer. Which, Steve thought, were far better qualities to have than whatever fancy talents Jack Quade possessed.

And he was healthy with possession of plenty of energy; he was all the boy that any man could ask for. Steve was only sorry that Russel used Gabrielle's name. Gabrielle had always been reluctant to give Russel his name; claimed it seemed wrong to do so when they weren't married. If she had been anyone but Gabrielle, Steve would have thought that it was a play for a ring; now, he wished that he _had_ married her. Russel would never take his name now.

Mind you, if he became enough of a presence in Russel's life, maybe he would decide for himself to take the Taylor name. Ben had kids of his own that would carry on the Jaeger name. (Steve conveniently forgot that the only way the Jaeger name would carry on through the twins would be if they kept their maiden names.) Steve certainly wouldn't mind having someone like Russel to carry on his legacy. Smart, healthy and with his father's good looks; what more could a man ask for?

He had taken the day off work to spend with Russel, and despite the aggro he had gotten from his assistant – not to mention the massive backlog of work there would be to be done tomorrow – Steve considered it time very well spent. He'd taken Russel out on his horse (despite the fact Gabrielle had made it very clear that he wasn't old enough to be riding anything but the most placid of ponies) to see his hobby farm and the surrounding countryside, and now the little boy was looking at him with absolute adoration, as if he were god. _With a little 'g'_, Steve thought. _I'm not arrogant, I can settle for being a minor deity_. Though he had to admit, there was a massive rush to be had from the adoring look of your son.

And to think Gabrielle had been keeping this to herself. And to think _Jack Quade_ had been stealing this from him. Well, not anymore. Quade might be a lot of things, but Russel's real father was not one of them, and Steve intended on making a point about that.

"Daddy," Russel said, and Steve loved the way it sounded. "Did you know Jack?"

Steve scowled. Even here, Jack had to come into it. "Yes, I did," he admitted gruffly.

"Were you friends?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I didn't like him very much."

"How come?"

Steve scowled deeper. Just a few hours ago, Russel's inquisitiveness had been charming; now it was just annoying. "He isn't a very nice person," Steve said.

Russel's face screwed up in extreme concentration as he attempted to reconcile the two facts of the man who had come into his life just a few months ago being someone he loved being around and his father disliking him so much. Finally, natural curiosity won out. "Why not?" he asked.

Steve scowled deeper, thinking about all the little moments he had seen pass between Gabrielle and Jack, and all the little moments between him and Gabrielle that he had felt hadn't been what they could have been because she had had something with Jack that she would never have with him. All the times Gabrielle had seemed distant to him Steve knew had been because of Jack. Things just hadn't been the same after their second reconciliation, and Steve had _known_ that it was because there was some part of her heart that was reserved only for _him_. "Because he stole your mother from me," Steve said, with more bitterness than he had intended.

Russel looked even more confused. The man he had grown to worship in such a short period of time had _stolen_ his mother from his father? Russel didn't remember his parents actually being together, but like any child, his dream was to have them together. His mother had never gone into why they weren't together; only that some parents weren't meant to stay together. And now his dad was saying that Jack was the reason they weren't together?

He felt like crying over it.

"Are you OK, mate? Do you want some ice-cream?" Steve asked. Gabrielle had stressed that anything super-sugary after lunch – it made him hyper and impossible to get to bed – but, hey, what was the point of being the non-custodial parent if you weren't allowed to deviate from the rules that the custodial parent laid out?

Russel was young enough to be easily distracted by the promise of ice-cream, especially since his mother hardly ever let him have it. He didn't forget being told that Jack was the reason his parents were no longer together, but it was enough to brighten his mood immediately and bring him back to the present, and enjoying time with his father – time that he wished he had more of.

* * *

"I have to go," Jack said reluctantly when his week off drew to an end. The weeks seemed to be shorter every time he saw Gabrielle; and to make matters worse, there had been no Russel. He was surprised how attached he was to the little boy already. "I wish I could stay. I wish I could have seen Russel," he couldn't help but adding.

"I know. Next week, I promise." Gabrielle hadn't been able to shake Paula's warning about not letting Steve use Russel to drive a wedge between them. She had tried to rationalise that her situation was different to Paula's, tried to tell herself that Paula and Michael had been married so of course Michael had more grounds to say he had a right to try and reconcile with his wife, but all she could come up with was the only _real_ different was that Steve's beef with Jack stemmed way before Russel's birth.

"And if Steve wants to see him?" Jack asked pointedly.

"If Steve wants to see him, he can pick another week," Gabrielle promised. "It was lousy of him to insist on that week," she admitted. Not to mention he had timed his return of the little boy shortly _after_ Jack's departure. At least when Russel started school next year, Steve wouldn't be able to take him for a week at a time; he would have to stay at the farm, at least during term, when Jack was over.

She blushed slightly to realise that she had been thinking about Jack in terms of next year.

Jack noticed her blush, and hoped that it was about him. But he didn't say anything about it; instead, he kissed her goodbye and lingered as long as he could justify before Brad would get snarky with him for being late. It was alright for _him_, he had been married for, like, ten years, the bloom was off, _and_ he didn't have any commitments taking him from Widgee. "I'll see you in two weeks," he said softly before departing.

Steve brought Russel home shortly after. "Have a nice time?" she asked. She couldn't deny that Russel looked happy – and more tanned than usual, which was saying something, given how much time he spent outside as it was.

"It was great! And dad let me ride on his horse!"

Gabrielle sent a piercing glare at Steve. She had made it clear that he was absolutely not to take Russel on a full-sized horse. Something told her he'd given the boy ice-cream after dinner, too. "Hey, I was _on_ the horse with him," he protested. "You can't coddle him forever."

Gabrielle gritted her teeth. She _knew_ this would happen if she gave Steve such free reign with Russel. It was human nature for the non-custodial parent to spoil their kid; it was the custodial parent, _her_, who had to deal with the consequences. Well, there was nothing she could do about it now. "Fine," she said. Then, given he had been driving for some time _and_ had returned her son healthy and whole (something she wasn't entirely sure he would manage), she grudgingly added, "did you want to stay for dinner?"

"I'm fine," Steve said. He would have liked to, he was hungry, and Gabrielle was a legendary country cook, but he didn't care to be around when Gabrielle discovered that he had told Russel that Jack had been responsible for breaking them up. _Well, he did_, Steve justified himself. "I'll be seeing myself off, then." He reached down to tussle Russel's hair; something Russel clearly liked, as he beamed at the display of attention. "And I'll be seeing you soon, mate," he added pointedly.

"I hope it's not in two week's time," Gabrielle said, just as pointedly.

Steve glowered. He knew he wouldn't be able to keep up the pretence of only being able to see Russel on Jack's weeks off, but still, he resented the way she looked at him like that. Well, hopefully Russel's adoration of Jack wouldn't continue. "How's next weekend?" he asked.

"Next weekend is fine," she said in a frosty voice.

He departed, grumpy that Gabrielle had been so cool towards him – but confident that Jack was going to have difficulty with the inroads he was making with Russel. Not to mention Gabrielle, because the two were a package, and Jack was going to find it difficult being with Gabrielle when he didn't have Russel's approval.

Steve felt absolutely no remorse for what he was trying to do. It wasn't that he had a problem with Gabrielle dating someone else, per se (although why he hadn't given it much thought, he did like that the end result of her being a busy single mother and not having much time left over to socialise meant that she hardly had the opportunity to date, let alone start up a relationship) but he had a huge problem with that someone being Jack Quade. The man had always been a spectre in their relationship, even worse when he wasn't there than when he had been. It was easy to compete with flesh and blood – or at least, it had been easier – but when he was just a friend that she missed – _that_ was impossible to live with.

And so they had broken up. At least, that was the way Steve saw it. And so he saw nothing wrong with using Russel to create distance between them. After all, he was only reminding Jack that he had been here first, and that you didn't take something from Steve Taylor without some serious resistance.

"You OK?" Gabrielle asked as she and Russel sat down to dinner. Normally Ben and Caitlin joined them, but tonight, Gabrielle wanted her son to herself. Actually, she wanted Jack with them, but that wasn't possible.

Normally, Russel was lively, but tonight, he was silent and picking at his food. Gabrielle wondered if Steve had spoilt him, letting him have ice-cream and other junk whenever he wanted. _Damn that man_. He could be impossible sometimes.

"Fine," Russel said sullenly.

"Is something wrong with your lamb?" she asked.

"No." Russel continued to pick at it with his fork, and mash down on his potatoes with his knife.

"Then why aren't you eating? Did you have a big lunch?" No doubt Steve had let Russel eat chocolate and lollies on the trip home. He had been all hyper and excited when they had come home; maybe that was why. That, she thought, was _so_ like Steve – rely on sugar to put a kid on a high rather than demonstrating affection and attention. Well, Steve would find himself with no custody rights if he continued with that crap. Manipulating the situation so Jack couldn't see him was being a lousy human being; spoiling the boy's appetite with chocolate was being a lousy parent, and when it came to Russel, the latter was infinitely worse.

"No."

"Then what's the matter?" she asked, losing patience. And he was such a sweet little boy most of the time, too.

"Dad says Jack stole you from him," Russel proclaimed.

Gabrielle nearly choked on her own lamb, the way it suddenly got caught in her throat. "He said _what_?" she asked.

"He said Jack stole you from him. He says Jack's the reason why you're not together. Is that true?" Russel wanted to know.

Gabrielle was instantly filled with a rage she hadn't thought she could feel – and she had felt plenty of rage towards Steve in the past. When he had cheated on her with her best friend, when he had walked out on her in a drunken stupor, when he had admitted that there was no way he could continue with their relationship and be faithful. At this point in her life, she was well and truly familiar with how spiteful Steve could be and had actually thought that it was a sign of his growth that he had at least been _honest_ about his selfishness rather than staying with her and cheating on her. But this – somehow, this was worse. This was Steve being as spiteful as a child. He didn't want Gabrielle, but he didn't want anyone else to have her. Or at least, he didn't want _Jack_ to have her.

She couldn't help but think about what Paula had said.

"It's not true," she said. "Sweetheart, I hadn't seen Jack since a long time before you were born. Do you remember when he first came by a few months ago?" she asked. Russel nodded. "That was the first time I had seen him in over six years – since long before you were born," she added for emphasis. "Your father and I not being together has nothing to do with Jack. Some parents just aren't meant to be together." In some ways, she realised ironically, it was easier for the children who had witnessed the acrimony of a bad break-up between two people who got on well, just so long as they weren't married; _those_ kids remembered why their parents shouldn't be together. Russel had known nothing but his parents _not_ being together, and as such, his dream was to have the reconciled – no matter how highly he might think of Jack.

"Then why would he say he did?" Russel asked.

Gabrielle longed to tell Russel that some people – Steve in particular – were more than capable of spite and selfishness; that Steve had said it for no other reason than to make him dislike a man who had been a far better father to him than his real father had. "I don't know," she lied. "But it's not true."

Russel's face scrunched up in concentration. On the one hand, his father said Jack was responsible for his parents not being together; on the other, his mother was saying that it wasn't true. He didn't know who to believe, and yet, he _wanted_ to believe his mother, because he adored Jack and he liked the way his mother was always happier when he was around. "Jack will be here in two weeks," Gabrielle said, sensing her son's confliction. "Why don't you wait until you see him and make up your own mind?" she suggested, confident that once Russel had refamiliarised himself with how fond he and Jack were of one another and how well Jack knew him, he would understand that Jack wouldn't do such a thing. _You think you can poison his mind, Steve Taylor, you got another think coming_.

Russel, thankfully, nodded. That sounded reasonable to him. And then he attacked his lamb with gusto.

Crises averted.

* * *

"You _bastard!_" Gabrielle screamed at Steve over the phone once Russel had gone to bed. She had taken the phone outside with her so Russel couldn't hear her really lay into his father – although Gabrielle was reluctant to bestow such a title on the man. "You lying, sneaky _bastard_!"

Steve held the receiver slightly away from his ear. He had been expecting to hear from Gabrielle. He was familiar with her temper. She didn't lose it that often, but when she did – well, he had convinced Frank to take him back in two weeks, but it had taken two _years_ to get _her_ to take him back. "Gabrielle," he said silkily once she had finished her rant, as if he had no idea what she was pissed off about. "What's up?"

"Don't you _dare_ act like you don't know," Gabrielle hissed through the phone. "Telling Russel Jack was the reason we broke up. As I recall, the reason we broke up was because you told me you couldn't be faithful anymore."

"Well – "

"_Don't_," Gabrielle said coldly. Steve remembered that tone; she had used it on him when, after he had initially sobered up, and been interested in a second reconciliation, she had turned him down flat. "You say one more lie to _my son_ and it will be the last thing you ever say to him."

"_My_ son, too," Steve stressed.

"_Your_ son? You hadn't seen him in a year before you realised you had competition and decided to pick up your pissing contest with Jack right where you left it off."

"I was busy!" Steve protested. Which was actually true enough; running a small rural clinic, with so many demands and so few resources, was more than enough of a workload for a dozen men, let alone too.

"I've been busy too!" Gabrielle protested. "I run a farm _and_ a clinic _and_ raise Russel." Steve squirmed slightly on the other end of the line at that. Gabrielle was right. Whatever he did, Gabrielle did times three. "Jack is the best thing that's happened to me in years," she continued, and they both knew she meant since they had split up – and maybe since Russel had been born. "So you try and undermine that and – well, I'll see that you can't do it to me anymore."

"You can't stop me from seeing my son, Gabrielle. I'll take you to court."

"Yeah?" she challenged. "Take me to court. And explain to them you owe me twenty grand's worth of child support." She had no idea if that was true, but it sounded good. "If you're going to be a spiteful bastard who can't _stand _the fact that someone else might be interested in me, then Russel does not need someone like you in his life – and neither do I." And with that, she hung up the phone, still fuming.

Steve showed up the following Friday afternoon with a basket of muffins – care of one his grateful patients, Steve couldn't cook, or bake, to save his life – and a cheque for seven thousand dollars. "It's all I could come up with without taking money from the clinic," he said apologetically.

She took the cheque gingerly, as if she expected it to vanish in a puff of smoke like the rest of Steve's unsubstantiated promises and plans. It was as real as she was, but that didn't mean there was money in the bank to honour it. "Thanks," she said coolly. Then – just in case that it _was_ legitimate and she was sniffing her nose at a genuine offer from him – she added, "I wouldn't want you to take it from the clinic. I know how important that place is."

"I'm sorry for what I said to Russel. I don't know what came over me."

"Yeah you do, Steve. It's the same thing that _always_ comes over you when it comes to Jack. You can't stand him. You could _never_ stand him and the idea of him spending any time with Russel kills you. Well, guess what? That's a choice you made several years ago. You don't get any say in my private life now. You don't get a say in anything I do that doesn't impact Russel negatively, and you know damn well that Jack's terrific with children. So you have _no right_ to say shit like that about him when you know _damn well_ that Jack had nothing to do with us breaking up. You didn't want to be with me and if you're sorry about that now, that's not my problem." 

"You think I had a _choice_ when it came to you? The whole time we were together, I knew how much you wanted to be with him."

"Steve! I did no such thing!" Gabrielle said, indignant. Of all the things she could be accused of – she was a control freak, she had a temper – cheating was not one of them, and the fact that it was _Steve_ accusing her of it was a deep irony.

"Oh, I know you never physically did anything. You're not the type. I know nothing physical ever went on between you – at least, not when you were sober," he couldn't resist adding. "It wasn't that."

"Then what was it?" she asked, torn between her tired resentment that he should still be hung up on her closeness with Gabrielle and her interest in hearing what he had to say.

"You guys were really close – always were, I think, that you became – well, you know – so quickly. I used to watch you together. You'd smile at him in a way that you never smiled at me. You could _relax_ around him the way you never did with me – not when you were sober." He remembered a time when he had walked in on them in the tea room, having lunch together, talking and laughing and carrying on like they were kindred spirits and he had known that he had never had that camaraderie with her. It had driven him crazy with jealousy, wondering what they were up to with their endless dinners and DVD nights together.

He had thought that when Jack left, their rivalry was over, he explained to Gabrielle. Instead, he found that the only thing harder than competing with someone who was there was competing with someone who wasn't. Steve had always assumed that there would never be any man more important to Gabrielle than him, and then there had been this guy who was younger and smarter and totally got her in a way that Steve never would. And even when he wasn't there, he was still there; time and distance couldn't erase the memories of having such a close friend as she'd had in Jack. Steve had thought by issuing Gabrielle an ultimatum – Jack or him – he would force her to focus her attentions on him and Russel. Instead he had discovered that there was a place in Gabrielle's heart that he could never occupy, because it would always be occupied by Jack. And knowing that he would never be able to make her smile in the same way he had seen her smile at Jack had slowly eaten at him until he couldn't stand it anymore. "You were never really there, not in the way I wanted you to be," he finished.

Gabrielle listened in stunned silence. It had never occurred to her that Steve's resentment of Jack went beyond his child-like possessiveness towards her. She had always thought that he was convinced something had gone on between them while they had been living together, and that he resented Jack because he didn't like the idea of her ever having been with anyone else. She had never thought it went any deeper than basic macho pride. And yet – and yet – a basic sense of honesty within her was forced to recognised that Steve had been onto something. In the six months that they had lived together, Jack had become her best friend, and they had shared something that she had never shared with someone else – not even Steve. He had made her laugh in a way that no-one else had, had stimulated her mind in the way no-one else did, had made her feel good about herself – made her feel funny and intelligent and sexy – in a way that no-one else could – not even Steve.

Compared to that, her days with Steve hadn't been as stimulating – as fun – as intangibly wonderful as the times she had shared with Jack, even when they _had_ been merely platonic. Had knowing Jack's friendship meant there would be something changed between her and Steve? She had always thought that that was purely because of the changed dynamics in their relationship because of his sobriety, but maybe part of it was because she had known such a high standard of friendship with Jack that Steve paled a little in comparison.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I had no idea."

He shrugged. "It was my own fault," he said philosophically. "If I hadn't been such a jerk in the first place, I never would have lost you to begin with. We would have stayed together here and lived happily ever after, and neither of us would never have met the guy."

Gabrielle nodded slightly at that, acknowledging the truth of it. There had been a time where she had wished desperately that Steve had been sober enough to realise what he had in Gabrielle, that he would never have cheated and they would have never left Widgee and lived happily ever after. Once upon a time, it had been all that she had wanted. But now – even though she was hardly in an ideal situation, a single mother with two men who couldn't stand each other competing for her and her son's affections, she knew she wouldn't trade it for the future she had once hoped for.

"I never thought I'd hear you say that," she admitted. There was something nostalgically pleasant at hearing Steve admit that whatever actions had caused their relationship to veer from the future they had once hoped they would share were his fault. At forty, was he finally accepting he had wasted a lot of opportunities because of his drinking, and because of the man he became when he was drinking?

"I never thought I'd do or say a lot of things," he conceded. "So – what do you say? I can still see Russel?"

"Of course. You're still his dad. Just – whatever issues you have with Jack, _don't_ voice them around him. Jack means a lot to him, and I don't want him getting confused."

"Alright," Steve said, doing his best to disguise the resentment he felt. He had no doubt that Gabrielle would cut off access to Russel if he bad-mouthed Jack to the boy, and the way DOCS worked, especially in the country, he was likely to not see him before adulthood if Gabrielle had her way. Just one more thing to resent Jack for. Well, Quade was about to find out that Steve had more than one way of undermining his relationship with Russel – _and_ Gabrielle. Jack might have shared some special camaraderie with her – if _that's_ what he called it – but there was something to be said for the history that came with a relationship that had gone on for over twenty years now. _Try and compete with _that, Steve thought, a trifle smugly; let Jack know what it was like to compete with something intangible.

"Good. Why don't you come in for dinner then?" Gabrielle asked, glad that the crises was over. Or at least, it would be once Jack came over next week and could demonstrate to Russel the affection he felt for him – Russel was unlikely to resist, regardless of the ideas Steve had put in his head. "I don't think he's ever seen the three of us sit down to a meal together."

"Sounds good," Steve said, and he followed Gabrielle into the house. It had been a long time since he had gotten past the porch, let alone the front hall, and he was again reminded that there had been a time when he had thought that he and Gabrielle would grow old together in this house (he had always assumed it would be the Jaeger farm; his own family's farm had never come into it) – and that that time was long gone. But just because he knew that this life wasn't for him anymore, didn't mean that he was just going to let Jack Quade come in and take it.


	5. Chapter 5

"Anything you care to talk about?"

"Sorry?" Jack asked Paul distractedly.

"No offense, but you look like you could seriously do with some rest and TLC. Should I talk to Gabrielle? Is she not treating you right?"

"Everything's fine," Jack said. He _was_ feeling a bit blech, a bit worn-out, but everyone had their down days.

"Not everyone can hack this life," Brad remarked.

Jack gave him a filthy look. "I've been handling it for two years, thankyouverymuch," he said.

"Yeah... when you were dividing your job between here and your life in Sydney, with a week off somewhere whenever you fancied. Now you're trying to stretch yourself to Gabrielle and Russel, too, and it's showing."

"It's harder than I expected," Jack admitted. "I don't see as much of anyone as I would like."

"You ever thought of settling down somewhere? The qualifications you have, you could work pretty much anywhere in the country. There's plenty of places in the country crying out for doctors. Hell, the hospital in Widgee would take you in a heartbeat."

"I _like_ what I do with the Flying Doctors," Jack protested, a little irritable because Brad had hit on exactly why he was feeling so dissatisfied lately.

"I know you do. And I like you way more than my last partner. I'm just saying that it's not suited to everyone – or every relationship – and you have extra demands on your time than most. Maybe it's time to settle down in once place. And you'd certainly make Steve think twice about hanging around the place."

"_What_?" Jack asked. This was certainly news to him.

Brad looked uncomfortable. He had assumed Gabrielle had already said something to him. "It's nothing, " he lied badly.

"Uh-huh. A nothing big enough for Gabrielle to tell Julia, and Julia to tell you," Jack said. Brad looked even more uncomfortable; the ability to understand the other went both ways. "What exactly happened?" Jack asked coolly.

"Ask Gabrielle," was all Brad would say.

"I'm asking _you_," Jack pressed.

"Can't blab about a friend like that."

"You blab all the time! You guys are far bigger gossips than anyone I met in Sydney!" Jack protested. OK, so Jessica Singleton had been up there, but his experience with towns like Widgee was that they gossiped about one another like the entire town was made up of Jessica Singletons.

"Yeah, but that's Widgee people," Brad rationalised, which was actually true enough and not _solely_ a means of getting out of admitting what he knew. "We're _allowed_ to talk about one another. You're a city boy."

It wasn't the first time Jack had come up against the small community mentality of 'if anyone can remember when you didn't live here, then you're not one of us' many a time; people would say he was good for Gabrielle and Russel and that he was such a Sydney boy in the same breath. He was used to it, but now it irritated him, like so many things were irritating him. "And you wonder why I don't want to settle down in Widgee," he muttered under his breath – but loud enough for Brad to hear.

* * *

"I'll kill him. I'll break his fucking neck," Jack promised when Gabrielle told him about what Steve had said to Russel. The _nerve_ of the man. Was it not enough that he had forced Gabrielle to give up her friendship with him with that 'him or me' crap and then dumped her anyway, not enough that he had had little to do with her and Russel – only remembering the kid whenever his conscience pricked him, or when he felt threatened by their old rivalry – now he had to but in on the relationship that he had with the boy? Was he _that_ jealous, _that_ insecure? _Actually, probably, yeah, _Jack thought. Steve had never been able to stand him.

"Jack, don't," Gabrielle said warningly.

"Why not? He's telling lies about me."

"That may be so – but he's still Russel's father."

"So, what? That gives him the right to make up crap about anyone he sees as a rival?" Jack asked. "I could sue for libel," he added.

"What, that you lost esteem in the eyes of a five-year-old boy after his father bent the truth a bit?" Gabrielle asked sarcastically.

Jack fumed. _Bent the truth a bit? Try 'lied through his teeth'_. "I wasn't even _there_ when you guys broke up," he protested. "In fact, as I recall, I had nothing to do with you at the time at your request – because Steve had told _you_ to have nothing to do with _me_."

_As if I could forget_, Gabrielle thought. What _was_ it with these two men that they could otherwise be perfectly reasonable human beings (well, as reasonable as Steve could get – she had long accepted that some people were just born selfish, and Steve was one of them, and that his selfishness had nothing to do with his alcoholism) but when it came to one another, two ultra-competitive alpha males who were like boys in the sandpit, refusing to share the one truck. "He's sorry," Gabrielle said. "He – Jack, he thinks the reason our relationship failed is because we had – _always_ had – something special that he couldn't compete with."

"And you believed that horseshit?" Jack scoffed. Sounded like typical Steve trying to justify his actions to him.

Gabrielle shot him a warning look. "I know our relationship wasn't the same," she argued.

"Yeah, 'cos you knew what it was like to have a guy in your life who actually cared about you and do the right thing by you, of _course_ you had higher standards. That doesn't mean you were carrying a torch for me all those years – wait, you were carrying a torch for me?" Jack asked, torn between the fact Steve was grasping at straws to justify his jerky behaviour and the flattering idea that Gabrielle might have had feelings for him before they got together – before he had even left All Saints. He didn't stop to think that if it was true, then no wonder Steve had been a little sore about it – hell, it wasn't like the guy deserved it after what he had done to Gabrielle – but he was flattered nonetheless.

Gabrielle raked her hand through her hair. She wished one of them would be more reasonable. Jack couldn't seriously expect to be on the same level as Steve when it came to Russel – and Steve was hardly being a mature, reasoned adult about it. "Jack, please," she begged. "I don't need this. I can't tell Steve he can't see Russel, and I don't want to end up in the same situation as Paula."

Jack didn't say anything. He had witnessed firsthand the lousy situation Paula was in because of the antagonistic elements of Michael and Luke's personalities, with Max caught in the middle. And while everyone but Michael and Max themselves knew that the blame lay with Michael – or, in this case, Steve – Jack knew that the present situation could have been avoided – or at least diluted somewhat – if either Luke or Michael had acted better about it. Jack supposed this made him Luke in the situation, and that he had to be the better man about it.

Besides, Steve _was_ his father. And Jack still had the occasional pangs of conscience about how he had first acted when he had found out about Charlotte's pregnancy - _he_ could very well have been one of those men who had nothing to do with their kids for a few years, then suddenly had an about-face. As much as it pained him, he had to concede that Steve had a greater claim to Russel than he did, and try to be the better man about it. "Fine," Jack said. "I'll hold my tongue around him."

Gabrielle took this to mean that she should expect a lot of complaints levelled at _her_ about Steve.

Russel, as Jack had expected, was withdrawn around him, sulky even, despite Gabrielle's attempt to explain that Jack had done nothing to break them up. Added to the fact that his dad had come to the farm last week – he couldn't remember the last time his dad had actually been inside the house – and he and his mother had been on friendly terms.

He liked Jack, but he liked the idea of his parents together more. So he treated Jack far more coolly than he had in the past, despite how much he liked the man. Jack tried to engage the boy in all the things that had captivated him before, but with little luck. "I don't know what to do," Jack said, exasperated when he liaised with Gabrielle later that night – after, as usual, Russel was in his own bed. "He hates me."

"He doesn't hate you," Gabrielle said. "He's just a kid who wants his parents together and doesn't understand why that's not possible. Didn't _you_ ever want that?" she asked.

"Didn't know who my mum was to want them together," Jack pointed out, although secretly, as a kid, he had often wondered what his mum was like, thinking that anything had to be better than his miserable childhood with his step-mother, half-brothers – and Patrick.

Gabrielle reached out and stroked Jack's hair the way he liked. "Sometimes I wonder how you turned out as well as you did," she mused admiringly. That soothed Jack a little, and before too long, they were engaged in a steamy makeout session that ended in an even steamier lovemaking session. Afterwards, Gabrielle curled up in Jack's arms and he ran his fingers along her back the way she liked.

"I've been thinking," Jack said into the lazy darkness.

"Mmmm," Gabrielle said sleepily. She hoped he wasn't going to bring up Russel and Steve again. It was too pleasant a moment to ruin with this aggravation.

"I want a baby," he said abruptly.

"What?"It was so random, so bizarre, that Gabrielle half-thought she was dreaming.

"Well, I've been thinking. You know I adore Russel, but the most he'll ever be is my step-son. I want kids of my own. I want a baby."

She launched out of bed, quickly covering herself with her nightgown. "You can't be serious," she said. "I barely see you. You really think that's conductive to raising a child?"

"Well, that's what I've been thinking about. I can't take juggling work and everything in Sydney and everything here. Your clinic is crying out for a GP. I could be based here and see Bec and Callie and my friends when I wanted and still not to stretching myself the way I am now – and I'd have plenty of time for you... and our family."

Gabrielle just stared at Jack. She didn't realise that he had put a lot of thought into it, because this was the first she had heard of it, so to her, it sounded like he had thought of something on the spur of the moment to put him on more solid ground than Steve – and being based in Widgee fulltime was damn solid ground. "And what, you just decided this in the last five minutes?" she asked.

Jack scowled. "No," he said. "I've been thinking about it for a while."

"You were happy working FIFO. You said so. You said you couldn't imagine _not_ working for the Flying Doctors."

"That was before I got involved with you. Gabs, I can't keep working for them and seeing you and keeping in touch with everyone in Sydney. Of the three, the Flying Doctors are the least important, and it's not like I'd be giving up medicine. I've worked in rural communities before," he reminded her. "I enjoyed it. And even if I didn't, it would be an improvement on only seeing you once a month."

She realised he was serious. Still, she couldn't shake the feeling that Jack was doing this to get one over Steve. "And what would I get out of a baby?" she asked him. "Unless you've forgotten, the _last_ time I had a guy thinking it was a great idea to have a baby got bored of the idea once he realised the practical implications of it."

Jack scowled deeper, and his eyes flashed angrily – Gabrielle could see that, even in the dark. She knew she had hit below the belt, and started to apologise, but Jack spoke before she could. "I can't believe you're comparing me to him," he said.

"Jack, I –"

"You think even if we broke up, I'd stop supporting you – or our kids? Hell, I'd support Russel if he wanted me to – but he'd rather think his dead-beat dad is up for Father-of-the-year."

"Jack, don't speak so loud. Russel will hear."

"You know what? I don't care. _Everything_ in our relationship is about what's best for Russel – and that includes letting Steve walk all over you. God, do you really not see what he's doing? He can't stand me and is using Russel to drive a wedge between us."

"You've been listening to Luke too much," Gabrielle accused him.

"And _you_ haven't been listening to Paula _at all_," Jack retorted. "Is that what you want for us? Ten years from now Russel hating me and Steve egging him on? Our kids wondering why Russel can be such an ungrateful shit?"

"Of course it isn't. Russel isn't like that. _Steve_ isn't like that," Gabrielle insisted. Maybe it was her mother's bias, but she couldn't imagine Russel, who loved all little children, including his cousins, ever having the urges of disdain towards any half-siblings he might have that Max occasionally demonstrated towards Sophia and especially Rick.

"Really? 'Cos the only difference I'm seeing is that Michael at least wanted to marry Paula."

Now it was Jack's turn to go below the belt, and like Gabrielle a minute ago, he immediately realised that he had gone too far. "How dare you," Gabrielle hissed at him, no longer caring that Russel might be able to hear. "That's none of your godamn business." And what _really_ hurt was that Jack was onto something. Steve had never expressed an interest in getting married – in fact, when Gabrielle had pointed out that the reason Russel's name was listen as Jaeger on his birth certificate was that children took their mother's names, Steve had blithely ignored the obvious solution that he could _make_ Gabrielle's name Taylor by marrying her. Not that she had wanted to marry Steve, but it would have been nice to know that _he_ had wanted to marry _her_.

"What _is_ my business is that _I_ want to marry you," Jack said. "Or at least, I would if I thought you weren't so hung up on giving Steve whatever he wants – and what he wants is to get rid of me, and you're too blind by whatever history you have to realise that."

"That's not fair!" she said, stunned to hear that he wanted to marry her. Was that true, or was he just saying it to throw it in her face?

"Yeah? He shows up when he hears that I'm on the scene again after having nothing to do with you or Russel for over a year. You don't think that's a bit strange? You don't think he's only doing this to get to me? You don't think that this could carry on for years without Steve actually giving a shit about Russel? How do you think that's going to affect him, Gabrielle? I mean, do you think Max is really happy? You think he wouldn't have been happier if he'd just had a step-father who cared about him from the beginning? Is that what you want for Russel? Assuming that I have as much patience as Luke did and will stick around for that long," Jack added. He hadn't meant to threaten her – he had no intention of leaving, and had been quite serious when he'd said he wanted to marry her – but it had just sort of come out, pouring out along with several months worth of resentments. He _knew_ he was a better man then Steve – at least when it came to the way he treated Gabrielle and Russel – but he was constantly being forced into the backseat because of Russel and Gabrielle's determination that as his father, Steve would always come first.

"Of course that isn't what I want," Gabrielle said, determined not to cry. Jack was being unreasonable, and she wasn't going to cry over it. "But what do you want me to do? Tell Steve he can't see Russel anymore?"

"If he's only seeing him out of spite, then yeah, maybe," Jack challenged, the crux of his resentful thoughts finally out in the open.

"I can't do that, Jack, you know that."

"Yeah? And I can't keep on like this. I can't keep taking a backseat to someone who never cared about you and Russel the way I did just 'cos he was too selfish to use a condom."

"What the hell does that mean?" Gabrielle asked.

"It means I think I should stay in my own room tonight... and go back to Sydney tomorrow."

"You've got to be kidding me. Russel's a bit surly with you and you retaliate by taking your bat and ball and going home?"

"I don't have a home, Gabrielle, remember? I want one with _you_," he reminded her. "But you don't want one with me, apparently. Or at least not enough to do something about Steve. Look," he said when he saw the look of distress on her face. "I'm not calling it off. I just need some space right now. I feel about as welcome here as I did growing up."

Gabrielle was aghast that Jack would feel that way, given how much his step-mother had hated him for being the flesh-and-blood evidence of his father's infidelities. The irrational resentment that maybe if it wasn't for his existence, things might have been different – happier, more natural – whatever _natural_ meant. She felt her own resentment that Jack should make such a drama about it and compare a bit of surliness from her son – after all, it was only natural that a boy his age would want his parents together – and turned away from him. "Do whatever you think is best," she said in a cool voice, and waited until he was gone before she collapsed onto her bed and cried.

In the morning, Jack was gone.

"Where's Jack?" Russel asked the next day when it was quite obvious that the man had packed up and left without saying goodbye. He felt a prick of conscience, something he wasn't used to. He hadn't been very nice, he knew; he had known it when he had been doing it, but he hadn't been able to help himself, he had kept thinking about how nice it would be to have his parents together, and wondering if there was any truth to Jack being the reason they weren't. It had taken all his self-control not to join in all the activities Jack knew so well; he had wanted to sent a message that Jack wasn't his father.

And yet – Jack understood him better than his father did. A basic sense of self-honesty in Russel recognised that his father didn't understand him like Jack did. Russel wasn't to know that Jack had a knack with children that Steve didn't, and his ineptitude with rugrats extended to his own son; all he knew was that Jack had a way of holding him and playing with him and talking to him that made him feel understood and not the least bit condescended.

"He's gone home," Gabrielle said stiffly. She had cried most of the night, and it had taken all her self-control not to make her way to his room.

"Home in Sydney?" Russel asked. He had never thought of Jack as having a home there, although he was old enough to know that he was from Sydney originally and still had family and friends there and spent some of his weeks off there. Like Uncle Paul, Jack flew all over the countryside but made his home in Widgee when he had time off.

"Yes. He has family and friends there – a sister, and a niece."

"Like the twins are your nieces."

"Yes. Callie's about the same age, actually." She remembered how Jack had talked about introducing the three little girls, if they could get past the obstacles of Rebecca refusing to allow her daughter outside the civilization – and the medical care that came with it – of Sydney, and the fact Ben and Caitlin were far too busy to leave the farm just to accommodate Rebecca's fear of what she considered 'the back of beyond'. She wondered if that would ever happen now.

Russel thought about how his mum doted on her two nieces, and wondered if Jack doted on this Callie the same way, and felt jealous. He didn't like the idea of Jack doting on any kid but him. "Does he have any nephews?" he asked.

Gabrielle was too distraught to notice the envy in Russel's voice. "No, but he has friends with sons – Zach's eight and Rick's ten."

Russel thought about the eight- and ten-year-olds that he knew. They were bigger and smarter than him. He imagined that someone bigger and smarter would have an appeal that he didn't posses. Despite himself, he scowled at the thought of Jack playing with this Zach and Rick, and hated them instantly.

"You alright, mate?" Ben asked Russel a few days later. The boy was moping something chronic, and if Gabrielle hadn't been moping something chronic herself, she would have noticed. Ben suspected it had something to do with Jack's rather abrupt departure after just one day. Gabrielle had already told him about Steve's little stunt, and Ben figured it had something to do with that.

"Fine," Russel said.

"Missing Jack?" Ben asked understanding.

"A little," Russel admitted.

"He's a good guy, you know. He wanted to be there for your mum when your grandpa died but Steve thought it was best that he didn't get involved."

"Really?" Russel asked. His dad had certainly never told him _that_.

"Really. He cares a lot about her. You, too."

"He has Callie. And Zach and Rick."

"Who are – oh, Charlotte's boy and the Forlano kid." Ben smirked. Russel was clearly jealous. "Jack's good with kids," he couldn't resist needling his nephew a little. If Zach's misplaced loyalty to his father was the reason for Jack's departure, then the boy deserved t squirm a little. And if it wasn't, well, there was no harm in reminding him that Jack had other demands on his time – demands from boys who could be far better behaved.

"Are they smart?" Russel asked.

"I don't know, I've never met them," Ben said. "But Jack's very fond of them, so they must be good kids."

"Does he love them?"

"I don't know. And I think the question you _really_ want to ask is that does he love _you_?" Russel squirmed at that, and kicked his feet in the dust. He was old enough to not want to admit that he wanted people's love, as much as he expected it as naturally as he would expect to breathe. "I know he's very fond of you, and I know he loves your mother."

"Dad says he broke them up."

"Your dad's a little confused."

"People keep saying that."

"Well, if enough people say something, it's gotta be true, right?" Ben asked, hoping Russel didn't remember that particular bit of wisdom when he first started googling for information on things. "I think you ought to be a bit nicer to him. He thinks the world of you and he loves your mum – and you hurt his feelings when you don't want him to play with you." Russel squirmed again, and Ben had all the proof he needed that Jack had left because of the boy.

"You should take Russel to Sydney, see Jack for the rest of his week off," Ben suggested to Gabrielle later that day. "I can take care of things here," he added before she could offer the farm as an excuse to stay. "Gabs, I don't know exactly what happened, but I know he cares about you a lot, and he has for as long as I've known him. I don't know why you keep putting Steve ahead of him, but if you do it enough times, one day, he's not going to come back."

* * *

"Gabrielle! Ohmigod, it's been _years_," Bree Matthews gushed, and Gabrielle had a sinking feeling that Bree was one of the women he had an 'arrangement' with. He had always been upfront about not being in a position to be in a relationship, and he was certainly fun and charming enough that many women would consider a casual relationship with him to be acceptable.

"Bree," Gabrielle said weakly. She certainly hadn't been expecting to see her former subordinate when Charlotte had told her that Jack was staying at the Forlano's place – Luke and Paula had taken advantage of Jack's sudden arrival in Sydney and taken a few days off, leaving him with Rick and Sophia. "I, uh, wasn't expecting to see you here."

Bree smiled. "Yeah, Jack asked me to come over. He wanted to take the kids to the zoo, except Rick's the type of boy who needs one-on-one supervision. You turn your back on him for five seconds and he's trying to climb into the bear enclosure." Gabrielle started to laugh at that despite her surprise at seeing Bree there, then realised that she was perfectly serious. "Besides, Sophia's at an age where she's too old to go to the men's toilet and too young to go to the ladies on her own. It's just easier if he gets me or Claire or Charlotte to go with him."

"So – you guys kept in touch then?" Gabrielle asked.

Bree was astute enough to know that was a loaded question, and one that Jack was better off hashing out with her himself. Besides, from what she heard, Gabrielle was hardly in a position to complain about the time Jack spent with women he used to be involved with. "You know Jack, he's such a Sydney boy at heart. He never really went away."

Gabrielle wasn't sure if that was a dig at the fact that she had broken off her friendship with Jack or not. She wondered how many people he had told about that. It had been his right to tell people, of course, and it had been long before they had gotten together, but she still felt like crap to hear it. "Is Jack here?" she asked stupidly, because of course Jack would be here to have invited Bree to go with him to the zoo.

As if on cue, Jack came to the door. "Hey," he said in a tone that bordered on indifference – as if he would meet the mailman with about as much friendliness. "What are you doing here? I thought you had a farm to run."

"Ben said he could handle it for a few days. Since he handled it with a broken hand after dad died, I think he takes offense at my input sometimes." She was attempting to joke and it fell flat. She felt uncomfortable here, like she had interrupted. Well, she supposed she had, but it felt like she had interrupted more than just Jack co-opting a friend to help him out with two primary-school aged children.

"Oh." There was a lengthy pause, then he said, "You want to come to the Zoo with us?"

It wasn't exactly the invitation she had been hoping for – for one, it came with two small children, not to mention Bree – but it was better than nothing. And besides, Russel had always wanted to go to a real zoo, not just a petting zoo. It wasn't like there was a shortage of sheep and dogs on a farm. Lions, tigers and bears, however – "Sounds good," she said.

It wasn't good. It was tense. She realised too late that she couldn't just show up and expect Jack to be free. Of course he had things to do in Sydney – friends, family, a _life_. He hadn't been sitting at home, moping over her. He had been out, enjoying a life that didn't include her. She watched him with Bree – Rick and Sophia were clearly familiar with her, which meant Jack had to see a lot of her – and was deeply jealous. She wondered if this is how he felt about Steve, then told herself that it was completely different. Steve was the father of her son, she _had_ to see him, and the only other men she was close to were Ben, Brad and Paul.

Russel attempted to get Jack's attention a few times, but Bree hadn't been kidding that Rick was a very inquisitive boy who needed constant supervision in an environment that was as stimulating and potentially dangerous as a zoo. He viewed Rick with unrestrained resentment. Rick, being almost twice his age, was bigger and smarter with a broader vocabulary. Russel was used to being the centre of attention – used to being the bigger, smarter one with the broader vocabulary when his only competition was his one-year-old twin cousins. Now this ten-year-old was dominating Jack's attention – and Jack was loving it.

It had never occurred to him that maybe Jack had another life outside of the farm.

Rick viewed the five-year-old with little interest. He was, after all, only five years old; younger than Sophia, and he tended to think of his eight-year-old sister as a total baby. So Russel was all but a nonentity. He was bigger and quicker than Russel, so things like getting the seat next to him while Sophia occupied his lap (sitting in adults laps was _way_ to childish for a big boy like Rick, although sitting next to them was fine) was no challenge. He noticed Russel looked none too happy about it. Well, what did he expect? They had known Jack for years and years – since he had been about Russel's age – and how long had Russel known him? Rick had never heard of Russel before, so he figured that meant the kid hadn't been on the scene for very long. So how could he expect to be on equal footing with the when he had been part of Jack's life for such a short period of time?

Sophia, meanwhile, was full of curiosity about Russel. She was an inquisitive as her brother – Luke and Paula would have no doubt been a little ashamed of a child who didn't have a keen desire to learn about things – although she tended to ask questions instead of climb fences. "Where's your dad?" she asked.

"He lives on a farm."

"With your mum?" she asked, looking at Gabrielle. Gabrielle went to say something – something told her Sophia's curiosity would lead to awkward questions – but Russel got in first.

"No, he lives on a different farm," Russel said.

"They're divorced, silly, like mum and Max's dad," Rick offered. Sophia nodded understandingly.

"What's divorced?" Russel asked.

"It's when your parents were married and now they're not," Rick said knowledgeably – and a little condescendingly. Sophia may be a baby, but even _she_ knew that. "Your parents _were_ married, we're they?" Rick pressed when Russel looked thoroughly confused.

"Steve and I were never married," Gabrielle said – and it felt like she was admitting to some unholy sin. Which, given that the Forlano children had been brought up in some bizarre conservative-catholic/science-is-golden hybrid that only people like Jack and Luke who had grown up in the former and swung wildly to the latter, was probably true. She remembered Jack saying that while the school Rick and Sophia went to couldn't publicly discriminate against divorced parents when it came to who they admitted and who they didn't, there were very few students who went there who had divorced parents, and those who did had almost all split _after_ the child had been admitted. (In the few years that she had lived in Sydney, Gabrielle had heard plenty of stories about fighting couples who stayed together just long enough to get their kids admitted into exclusive private schools; personally, she thought she and Steve had been far more honest in their relationship in not getting married in the first place.)

Russel, also sensing that there was somehow something wrong with your parents not being married – even worse than being divorced, and he _did_ understand what divorce was – despite never in his five years ever getting that feeling, let alone being told of it, felt uncomfortable, and inferior to Rick and Sophia. "Not everyone's as traditional as your folks," Bree said smoothly.

"What's tra_dish_nal?" Sophia asked.

"It's when you're _very_ old fashioned, back in the time when they didn't have cars or computers or phones or anything like that."

"But what did you do when you wanted to see your friends?" Sophia asked, completely baffled by the idea of life as she knew it not existing. It had the effect Bree had intended; Sophia was suitably distracted from the shock of finding out that not everyone's parents had been married.

"You had to walk," Bree said, a teasing glint in her eyes. Luke and Paula were a common phenomenon among modern parents; they strongly encouraged them to take part in team sports and other physical activities in structured, supervised environments, but heaven forbid that the two precious ones should walk anywhere unsupervised; they got driven. Sophia and Rick both started pondering a world where they had to walk everywhere, and they forgot all about Steve and Gabrielle never being married.

"Thanks," Gabrielle said to Bree later.

"No biggie. I'm surprised Luke and Paula raise them so conservatively,to tell the truth."

That surprised Gabrielle. "I didn't realise you were so close to them," she said.

"Me? God, no," she scoffed. The Forlanos might be one of the most egalitarian of the surgical couples out there, thanks to Paula remembering what it was like to be a single mother surviving on a nurse's salary, but that still didn't extend to socialising with nurses who were also Paula's subordinates. "Jack just talks about them a lot. He's very fond of Luke. I get the impression he doesn't like his own brothers that much."

Gabrielle had to laugh at that. Luke's own kid brother was dead, and Jack had nothing in common with his older brothers to the point they despised each other; the two surgeons were a good fit for each other. Then she got serious. "So you and Jack are close, then?" she asked, trying to sound casual.

It didn't work; Bree knew immediately that Gabrielle wanted the lowdown on her friendship with Jack. And as much as she had liked and respected Gabrielle – and as much as she was certain Gabrielle was still very likeable and respectable – she had gotten the strong impression that Gabrielle could be quite insecure, and doubted that a few years with Steve had cured her of that. "As close as anyone _can_ be to Jack," she said evasively. "He's not easy to get close to. Truth be told, I think he would rather have had Bec come today."

Gabrielle wasn't soothed. Whatever Bree said, she was close enough to him to call his sister 'Bec'. She found herself wondering what Rebecca thought of the woman. Certainly, Bree was far closer to the chic, city girl that Rebecca was than Gabrielle – but then, _everyone_ seemed closer to that than she was. "Did you guys sleep together?" she blurted out.

Bree supposed she should have expected it, given how forthright Gabrielle was. "I think that's something you should ask Jack," she said stiffly. She knew she had been rude, and softened a little. "Look, he's crazy about you, that much is obvious. I knew what the score with Jack was, and I don't think I wanted more from him anyway – he's a great mate, but there's always been something about him, something he was holding back – I think it was you. I knew the first time I saw him after you guys got together that something had happened between you – he was really happy." Gabrielle looked pleased at that, and Bree hated to burst her bubble. "But the thing is – I don't think he's all that happy at the moment."

Gabrielle flared at that. "Has Jack been talking about me?" she asked, shooting a sideways death glare at him. Jack, preoccupied with Rick, Sophia and Russel, was oblivious.

"Of course he hasn't," Bree said reproachfully. Surely she knew Jack better than that? "It's just obvious. He started out really happy and everytime I've seen him since, he's been less so. Look, for what it's worth, I think he's crazy about you. But he won't stay crazy about you... especially if he doesn't feel like he's a priority." The look in Gabrielle's eyes told Bree that she had hit on the truth. God knew, it had been easy enough. Like Jack was the first guy in the history of mankind to get resentful if he didn't feel like he was the number-one priority. Russel's behaviour today was proof of that; Jack was just thirty years older, and little different.

* * *

"How _dare_ you talk to Bree about us!" Gabrielle yelled at Jack later when they had come home and the children were asleep. She had left Russel in the car because she didn't feel like either of them were welcome in t Forlano house. The resentment had been simmering away inside her for hours. First her plans to spent time with Jack, just the three of them, had been thwarted when she had arrived to discover he was perfectly happy without her – with another woman and with other kids – then she found out that he had been confiding in Bree; her former _subordinate_. Gabrielle didn't know why that rattled her, but it did.

"I didn't say anything!" Jack said indignantly. He racked his brain to recall every word that had left his mouth regarding Gabrielle and came up clean; nothing more than a few passing comments, and none of them resentful. "Nothing that you could possibly take offense to."

"Yeah? Then how come she said you're unhappy?"

"Oh, I dunno, Gabrielle, maybe because it isn't that hard to work out. Bec or Charlotte or Luke or Paula would have told you the same thing. _I_ told you that I'm unhappy. In fact, I believe that's why I left Widgee. Then _you_ show up unexpected and get all shitty with me because I've made other plans. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I don't stop doing stuff just because you won't make me a priority."

"And I don't neglect everything else in my life just 'cos you want to be the only thing in it," Gabrielle retorted.

"I never asked you to neglect everything else in your life," Jack said. "I just wanted to feel like I was more important than Steve." He took a physical step back and his eyes took on a glazed, distant look. "I never did, you know. I always felt like it didn't matter how good a friend I could be to you, all it would take was for Steve to look at you twice."

"Don't be ridiculous. Steve isn't interested in me like that. And I can't exactly tell him to stay out of my life."

"No... but you could tell him to stop using Russel as a pawn if you wanted to. If you just opened your eyes to what he's doing – "

"God, not this again. I wish the two of you would grow up."

Jack's eyes glittered dangerously. He hated being compared with Steve. And _he_ needed to grow up? _He_ hadn't been the one to show up, completely uninvited, on a stranger's doorstep upon hearing the news that the ex he had shown no interest in for years had hooked up with someone else. _He_ needed to grow up? Was she so determined to cling to her ideals about Steve that she couldn't see what he was doing? _Of course she is, she always was_, Jack thought bitterly. It was like their kiss at Dan and Erica's wedding all over again. He could wait and wait and wait but there would always be Steve.

Suddenly, he felt very old and very tired. All this time and they were still at square one. What was the point? "You need to go," he said hollowly.

She didn't like the tone in his voice. "What does that mean?" she asked.

"It means that I am _tired_ of this _crap_ that keeps coming between us. I'm thirty-three and I want to settle down and have a family and you were the only one I wanted that with. But the only person _you_ ever wanted that with was Steve."

"Jack, that's not fair. Steve and I – "

"Yeah, I know. Steve and you have a history and a son and blah, blah, blah. I get it. I can't compete with that. God knows I've tried, but I can't."

"You're breaking up with me?" Gabrielle asked in a stunned voice. She had come here to make things right with Jack, and now they were worse than ever

Jack looked at her, and the expression in his eyes told her just how tired he was of feeling the way he did about the situation. "How can I break up with you when we weren't even together?" he asked. "Look, I think it's best if you go back to the farm. You're happier there. You always were," he added bitterly. It was clear that he thought Steve was part of what made of her happier at the farm than she ever would be with him.

Gabrielle started to say something about how wrong he was, but pride forbade her. If he was determined to be hung up on this idea that Steve was more important to her then Jack was, then nothing she could say would convince him otherwise. "Fine," she said. "If that's what you think is best."

He wasn't sure if it was for the best or not. He certainly knew it wasn't what he _wanted_. But neither did he want to always be taking priority after Steve. He could see them in ten years time, him forty-three, maybe with a kid or two, in the same situation Luke and Paula were in – but worse, because Paula had no feelings for Michael other than disgust and resentment. But Gabrielle had _some_ sentimental feelings leftover for Steve and refused to recognise him for what he was, and Jack knew he couldn't keep going with things like that. "Yeah, I do," he said sadly.

"Fine then," she said. She was glad she hadn't unpacked anything from her car and that Russel was currently in , sound asleep (hopefully at least; she didn't care to answer his questions right now). It meant she could leave and be home in a few hours. "I'll get out of your hair then." And with that, she turned and left the house, refusing to let Jack see how upset she was. After all, it wasn't like they had even been together in the first place. She got to her car and was grateful when Russel was asleep. She started up the engine and reversed down the drive, heading off into the night – and away from Jack.

"Jack?" Bree asked Jack in the house. She had been waiting in the next room, not wanting to intrude, although it wasn't exactly _hard_ to work out what they were arguing about. It didn't take a genius – or even someone particularly close to Jack – to know that he was unhappy in his relationship with Gabrielle – or that he had been carrying a torch for her for some time. "Everything OK?"

Jack's smile was as brittle at they came. "Fine," he said. "It wasn't working out."

"I'm sorry."

Jack shrugged as if it was no more important than a missed movie. "Better now than ten years down the track and in this situation," he said, gesturing generally around the room to mean a situation like the Forlanos found themselves in, with Michael causing trouble whenever and wherever he could.

Bree nodded slightly. She was hardly part of the Forlano's inner sanctum, but Paula was her boss and you picked little things up along the way. She didn't blame Jack a bit for not wanting the same thing for himself. "For what it's worth, I never liked Steve," Bree said. "A lot of people didn't." She hadn't understood the politics of Steve's situation much, only that Frank had gone to some effort to rehire him and Steve had turned around a little over a year later and ditched the ED for Mike's new MRU. And neither Charlotte nor Zoe before her had trusted him.

Jack smiled ruefully. "I'm just childish enough to enjoy hearing that," he admitted.

"Are you going to be alright?" Bree asked. "I can stay if you need me."

Jack's smile was even more rueful. Given his track record for using sex to console himself, the last thing he needed was the company of an attractive female that he had a history with. "No, I'm good," he said, hoping she wouldn't insist, because the way he felt right now, he didn't know how much willpower he had. "You should get going."

Bree looked inquisitively for a few seconds as if debating with herself exactly how 'good' he was, then decided to take his word for it. "OK," she said. "Let me know if you change your mind." She had to stand on tip-toes to kiss him on the cheek – God, he was tall, and traipsing around the zoo with two kids was hardly a situation that called for heels – before leaving him to his own devices, hoping he didn't take his breakup – if that's what it had been – with Gabrielle _too_ badly. It might have been close to ten years since the death of Travis Knight, but she still remembered just how badly he took distressing events.

Alone in the house – well, alone with two sleeping under-ten children – Jack sank into the couch. He felt drained of all energy and ten years older. His head knew he had done the right thing, but his heart was screaming and telling him to call her back. If she hadn't already been on the road, he might have done just that. _It's for the best_, he kept telling himself. _It's for the best_.

In the comfort of isolation, he bawled his eyes out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Final Chapter! I've brought Dan back, so possible death/grief triggers.**

"Mummy, when is Jack coming back?"

"He's not, sweetheart." Gabrielle felt her throat catching as she admitted this. It had been a month since Jack had left her – or, more correctly, told her to leave – and since then, he seemed to have dropped off face of the earth. He had quit the Flying Doctors – Brad had called her in a fury, wanting to know what the hell she had said or done that had made him do such a thing – and Paula and Charlotte had no idea where he was. At least, that's what they said. They were far more his friends then hers – even Charlotte, to whom she had once been very close – and would no doubt lie for him if he asked.

Russel's face screwed up in confusion. Jack had been gone for a month, and he missed him more than he had thought possible. His dad didn't know how to play with him like Jack did – spoil him, yes, but Jack had a rapport with children that Steve would never possess, not even when it came to his own son.

Russel remembered going to the zoo with Jack and the Forlano children, and how much he had hated Rick for the affection and attention Jack had paid him. Until then, it hadn't occurred to him that maybe Jack had other claims to his affection – bigger, smarter, better behaved claims. He remembered how he had treated Jack and felt bad. He wished he could make up for it now. But Jack hadn't been to see them in a month. "Was it because of me?" he asked Gabrielle in a small voice.

"No, sweetheart," Gabrielle said, although she wondered if Russel's rude attitude towards him had been the final straw for Jack.

"Then what was it?"

"Baby, sometimes adults can be... complicated," Gabrielle said, wondering how the hell you explained to a five-year-old that Jack had left because of a rivalry that had been going on between him and Steve that went back several years before Russel had even been born.

"So he doesn't like us anymore?"

It broke Gabrielle's heart to hear the hurt and rejection in Russel's voice almost as much as it had broken her heart when Jack had left. It was clear that he missed Jack. If only he had shown that kind of appreciation when Jack had been around, maybe he would _still_ be around. "No... it's just that he has other things to do. Important things."

"More important than us?" Russel asked.

"Yes, sweetheart." Gabrielle didn't see any way around admitting to that. Jack wasn't coming back; no point in promising something that she couldn't deliver on, only to have him even more disappointed down the track.

At least one good thing was that Steve was spending a _lot_ of time here, which distracted Russel a little. It was good for him to have his dad around. But as happy as Gabrielle was to have Steve around, paying more attention to Russel in a month then he had in the five years before that, she couldn't forget about Jack. She missed him more than she had thought possible – and God knew, she had missed him plenty when she hadn't been able to see him for weeks at a time.

"I wouldn't worry about it," was Steve's opinion when he realised how cut up Gabrielle was about Jack's departure. "He was never cut out to be a country boy."

"Really?" Gabrielle asked icily. "Brad loved him. So did Julia. And Paul." Steve scowled at that. He didn't care to be reminded that none of those three had ever liked _him_. Again he found himself asking what it was about Jack that peopled preferred him.

He was happy that Jack had left, but it felt like something of a hollow victory. Between the farm and the clinic and Russel and being upset over Jack, she hardly had any time or attention for him, and he didn't like it. It had never occurred to him that maybe she had claims to her time outside him; he had never been interested enough to _claim_ her time... until now.

As they sat down together after Russel had gone to bed, Gabrielle had an idle thought that if nothing else, she missed Jack because she couldn't enjoy a wine or beer with him after dinner. Or, for that matter, his conversation. She was beginning to realise that she and Steve didn't have much in common other than Russel – and they hadn't for some time.

She wasn't that surprised when Steve kissed her. She had been expecting it for a few weeks now – had known that once Steve got wind of the fact Jack had left, he would make his move. She wasn't sure how she felt about it. She wasn't sure how she felt about _Steve_. She was fond of him because they had such a long history and he was Russel's father. But she didn't have the kind of chemistry and camaraderie that she shared with Jack.

Still, she was lonely, and it would be good for Russel to have his parents together. So she responded to Steve's kiss as best as she could, given she felt nothing sexual for him. He didn't seem to want much from her, anyway – so long as she passively accepted his embrace, that seemed to be enough for him. From somewhere in the back of her mind came the thought that Jack wouldn't have tolerated that kind of passive acceptance from her – he expected passion from her, and anything else was a kind of nonconsent that he would rather do without.

She allowed Steve to pick her up and carry her to her room, where he started undressing her. Nothing registered for her – no passion, no excitement, no happiness... and no unhappiness. So that was something, right?

She didn't say anything until Steve shifted against her so she could feel the hardness of his erection against her. "Wait," she cried, and almost laughed out loud when she saw the look of disappointed on his face. "I just want you to use a condom," she said. She twisted around awkwardly, going to what had been Jack's side of the bed when he stayed over, fumbling for the condoms he always had on him.

Steve scowled at that – both at the thought of having to use a condom and the knowledge that they were _his_. "Why?" he whined.

She shot him a filthy look that he could see even in the dark. "Oh, I dunno, Steve... maybe because I don't particularly want to get pregnant again."

_You wouldn't have minded if it was _him_, _Stevethought resentfully, conveniently forgetting that they were Jack's condoms. "You manage a freaking clinic, get a pill tomorrow," he pointed out.

Gabrielle knew Steve well enough – and more to the point, knew his and Jack's rivalry well enough – to know what he had been thinking. She let it go, unwilling to admit, even to herself, how close to the truth it actually was. There was no denying that Jack was far better father material than Steve. But that wasn't the point right now. "I don't _want_ to go to the clinic tomorrow," she said. He knew perfectly well how emergency contraception was no substitute for using proper contraception in the first place – it was just his dislike of condoms coming through. You would have thought that having Russel would have taught him, but no. He was thoroughly irresponsible and she realised just what a difference there was between him and Jack.

"Well, I hate using condoms," Steve countered, as if a dislike of using condoms compared with the discomfort and inconvenience that came with the morning after pill – or having a baby.

Gabrielle watched him, seeing him the way others had seen him for the past fifteen years – selfish and irresponsible to the core. She had once told himself that the alcohol had made him that way, but she saw now that selfishness and irresponsibility were hardwired into his personality, and the alcohol had stemmed from that, not the other way around.

And she had put this man above Jack in her life – and Russel's.

She pushed him off her. "Hey!" Steve cried indignantly. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I've changed my mind," she said, the most passionate she had been about something in the weeks that Steve had been hanging around.

He glared at her. "Over a condom?" he asked.

"Over the fact that once more, you are putting your pleasure over my comfort and convenience," Gabrielle said.

Steve started to apologise and backpedal – he'd use a condom if the alternative was not getting laid, after all – but then he saw something in Gabrielle's eyes that he'd never seen before. A determination and... a look of disgust. He was familiar enough with it; he had seen in the eyes of dozens – maybe hundreds – of people in his life. That _I know who you are and I don't like or trust you one bit_ look. Or, as Steve had often referred to it, The Patented Zoe Gallagher Look.

But he had never expected to see it on Gabrielle's face.

He got up off the bed. "Fine," he snarled. "Pricktease," he added, before it occurred to him that maybe he shouldn't be calling her such names when he planned on staying the night – or sleeping in his ute. Well, it wouldn't be the first time. "You'll be sorry," he couldn't resist, ute or not ute. "Who else do you think is going to be interested in you now?" He didn't have to elaborate _now that you're a thirtyplus single mother_. It had been hanging over her head since she had turned thirty.

_Jack did_, Gabrielle thought, and his departure hit her more heavily than it ever had before. Jack had, had wanted to marry her and have kids with her – and she had turned him down because she had thought she owed the father of her current son more than she ever could him.

She had been a fool. And now Jack was gone, to no-one knew where.

She wasn't the least bit surprised that Steve had gone before she got up the next morning, and she knew it would be a long time before either her or Russel saw him again.

* * *

"Mummy?" Russel asked Gabrielle almost a month after Steve's departure – almost two months since Jack had left. "Is Jack ever coming back?"

Gabrielle didn't fail to notice that Russel always asked about Jack – not Steve. "I don't think so, sweetheart."

"Why not? Didn't he love us?" Russel asked, thinking jealously of Rick Forlano and Zack Rossi.

Gabrielle had finally realised that sugar-coating the truth about Steve had achieved nothing but fill Russel with false ideas about his father – and, as a result, meant that Jack could never compete when it fact Steve was far beneath him and not worth competing _with_. "He did love us," she admitted sadly. "But he didn't think _we_ loved _him_, so he went to find someone who would."

Russel digested that information. He was smart enough to realise that Jack had thought they loved him because he, Russel, hadn't _demonstrated_ any love for him, because he had resented Jack replacing his father. After all, hadn't his father said they had broken up because of Jack? And when Jack had gone and his father had begun spending a lot of time on the farm, he had rejoiced. But now that both Jack and his father were gone, he found that he missed Jack more. Jack came when he said he would, and understood him better than his dad ever had. "Can you ask him to come back?" he asked.

Gabrielle shook her head sadly. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, I have no idea where he is. I would if I could." She found herself meaning those words more than she had meant anything else that she had ever uttered.

"You miss him, huh?" Ben asked Gabrielle a few days later. Gabrielle nodded slightly. The more she thought about it, the more ashamed she felt. "And you have no idea where he is?" Gabrielle shook her head. "And none of his mates do?"

"We tried Paul, remember? The guys are like brothers. If anyone knew where he was..." Gabrielle shrugged.

Ben laughed. "Yeah, 'cos if _I_ were Jack and _I_ were keeping my distance from you, _I_ would totally tell someone who's practically my brother-in-law where I was," Ben said. Jack knew how close Gabrielle and Julia were; it would be as good as telling the town crier – if Widgee had one – where he was if he told Paul where he was. "What about his friends in Sydney? The ones you used to work with?"

"Maybe," Gabrielle said.

"Maybe? _That's_ the best you can do?" Ben asked, unimpressed. He had seen his sister bully bank managers into extensions and sweetheart deals and seemingly hold back drought by sheer force of will, and the best she could do was a listless _maybe_ when it came to locating Jack via mutual friends in Sydney?

"They were more his friends then mine," Gabrielle said. "You never saw him with Zach, but Russel was like Zach all over again. He basically filled the breach between Zach's father and Charlotte's current husband, and Charlotte's never forgotten that. If Jack doesn't want me to know where he is, Charlotte's not going to tell her. And Paula – I barely knew of Paula's existence until four months ago. They're not going to tell me if he doesn't want me to."

"You could at least try," Ben persisted, and after a few days of annoying persistence in the way that only kid brothers can do, Gabrielle capitulated, left Russel in the capable care of his aunt and uncle, and went to Sydney.

"No," Paula said flatly. She looked more tired than when Gabrielle had seen her last.

Gabrielle steeled herself for a fight. She had been prepared for resistance from Paula and Charlotte and wasn't willing to give up – at least, not easily. "Please," she begged. "It's really important that I speak to him. I need him to know that – I made a mistake, and that I need him."

Her voice was plaintive, but Paula was unmoved. "Spare me your self-pity," she said. "You think you're the only one in the world that Jack means a lot to? He's like a brother to me – except my actual brother called me a whore when I got pregnant as a teenager. I miss him too. But _I_ didn't drive him away in a delusion that he wasn't as good a man as an irresponsible, selfish alcoholic. "Gabrielle was shocked that Jack had confided so much in Paula. She supposed she shouldn't have been; she knew they were close. "I don't know where Jack is, Gabrielle," Paula said tiredly. "He just up and left. Quit the Doctors and everything. He doesn't want to be found."

The information sank in like a piece of lead in her stomach. She had been so sure that Paula and Charlotte would at least know where Jack was. There was the possibility that Paula was lying, but Gabrielle doubted it. Paula Forlano seemed more the type to flat-out admit that she knew where Jack was... and wasn't saying.

Gabrielle noticed that Paula had a large bruise on her face. "What happened?" she couldn't help but ask, even though it was really none of her business.

"Max, if you must know," Paula said sharply. "We had a fight over this HECS thing. It will never end, not while Michael's around to whisper in his ear that everything he doesn't have in life is because of Luke."

Gabrielle was stunned to hear it. She had never met Max Morgan, but she couldn't imagine any child of Paula's being such a brat. "I'm sorry," she said.

"Not your fault. I blame myself, to be honest. I kept making excuses for him and Michael when I should have just told him to quit being a brat or see how great a father Michael was when he actually had to take full-time care of him rather than spend his time causing trouble for Luke and I." Her eyes narrowed and she took Gabrielle in. "So I don't have much sympathy when you came here saying you need Jack. I could have told you that months ago, _and_ how much he loves you and Russel. You were too busy trying to see the best in Steve when he's just – an irresponsible, selfish alcoholic. So if you don't mind, I have things to do." And with that, Paula shut the door in Gabrielle's face.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Gabrielle. Paula isn't lying – we really don't know where Jack's gone. I wish we did. Jack's good for Zach."

Gabrielle smiled sourly. Of course he was. Jack was excellent with kids, and the only reason some lucky woman hadn't snapped him up already was because he had been carrying a torch for her for so long – and she had been a fool not to realise it. "I don't suppose Rebecca knows where he is?" she asked hopefully.

Charlotte shook her head. "She knows what the rest of us do – that he's somewhere in New South Wales." Gabrielle asked how they knew that. "We have a contact number, it's a state number," Charlotte admitted. "Don't bother asking for it. We can't work out where he is. He doesn't want us to know." Nonetheless, Gabrielle asked to see the number – and her heart made a weird flip when she saw it, a combination of hope, and a sorrow born of being drawn back into the past. She would always know that phone number. It belonged to the final resting place of Erica Templeton-Goldman.

_

* * *

A month earlier_

"Dan? Can't you say something to him?" Sandra Goldman asked her husband. Jack had been moping solidly for almost a month, and it was driving her crazy.

"If I do, he's only going to remind me that he shadowed me for a month to make sure I didn't try to kill myself," Dan reminded his second wife patiently. "And Jack can be really bitchy, and in several languages." "Besides," Dan said. "You have to admit, he's good with the kids."

Sandy couldn't deny _that_. Like many people before her, she had discovered that Jack had a certain knack with children. Her two sons had liked him from the moment Jack had made the first of his intermittent appearances, and had been over the moon about his extended stay. Sandy trusted Jack with them as much as she trusted their grandmother, her mother-in-law... and Jack was far less overbearing and possessive. She just wished that he wasn't so damn _mopey_. "I don't understand," she said to Dan. "They weren't even together that long." Especially when the time that Jack and Gabrielle _had_ been together had been punctuated by two-out-of-three-week absences.

Dan shrugged. It didn't surprise him that Sandy didn't understand. "He's not an easy man to get," he said, the words ironic on his lips. _No-one_ had ever really gotten Jack, although Dan considered himself to be as close to an expert as one could get. "He fell for her a long time ago and I think he's been waiting ever since for her to get over Steve. The three of them have this thing between them that daytime soap operas get made out of."

"But - why he did let himself fall in the first place if he knew she had feelings for this other guy?" Sandy asked, although deep down, she knew, at least partially, the answer to that one. Sometimes it seemed that true love didn't give a shit how complicated the dynamics of your love got. She should know; she had entered this marriage knowing that she would always be competing with a ghosts... and ghosts were far more difficult to compete with than flesh-and-bloody types.

Dan grinned ruefully at the memory. "Good question," he said. "I don't think he ever planned to. But they ended up being quite good friends. I think she was exactly what he needed - someone he could be completely honest with and wouldn't let him get away with much. They were really affectionate with one another, and I think he needed that more than anything. You can fall in love with your best friend and it can be so gradual that you don't realise it until - " Dan stopped abruptly. He had been about to say _until you're asking them to marry you_. He owed it to Sandy not to remind her of his first marriage - at least, as much as he could. Theirs was a happy, compatible relationship - in some ways, Sandy was better suited to him than Erica ever would have been, because both of them were country types who were happy juggling the running of a farm and working in rural clinics, something Erica would never truly have settled to. But Erica had been the love of his life, and he tried not to remind Sandy of that. "She was perfect for him," Dan finished off. "They were perfect for each _other_. But it's never been the right time." He glanced over into the next room, where Jack was building a lego city with his oldest son, Kevin. "I always hoped they would work out. I can't see him settling down with anyone but her."

Sandy listened to Dan patiently. She understood that the two men went way back, and that Jack had, by Dan's own admission, shadowed him for a month following Erica's death to make sure he didn't kill himself. That showed true friendship, and if Jack wanted to mope, then Dan owed him that. But still, it couldn't be healthy. "I'll talk to him," Dan promised. Quite frankly, he agreed with his wife. Moping wasn't doing Jack any good.

"You need to do something _other_ than mope," Dan said to his friend later.

"Fine," Jack said. "I'll leave tomorrow."

"You know that's not what I meant. I just want you to get out. Look, why don't you volunteer at the clinic or something? We could always do with another pair of hands." Actually, the head doctor at the clinic had begged Dan to say something to Jack once he found out Jack had experience in rural clinics and the Flying Doctors as well as a major metropolitan hospital. "You need to work, Jack. You're miserable, sitting here and moping – and don't tell me that Kevin and little Jack are enough for you, because they're not. You love medicine, and don't pretend that you don't."

"Fine," Jack said. "If it gets you off my case." Besides, he knew Sandy wasn't comfortable with him moping all day, and he didn't want to outstay his welcome. Dan was like a brother to him, and that made Kevin and little Jack pseudo-nephews. Since he couldn't have Gabrielle, he didn't want to leave that if he didn't have to.

* * *

"Doctor Quade, you should run a crèche instead of work as a doctor," Karen Miller complimented Jack a few days later.

Jack grinned ruefully. Karen certainly wasn't the first person to tell him that. But he wasn't about to complain when being complimented by an attractive woman. "And waste a perfectly good medical degree?" he asked. "Not to mention all the married mums – there'd be no-one worth hitting on."

"And that's the most important thing, isn't it?" Karen teased. In truth, she'd been a little worried to hear that a friend of Dan Goldman's from Sydney was doing locum work. City doctors tended to not be interested in country work unless they were forced to – either lacking in talent or with too shady a track record to be accepted into any decent metropolitan hospital. It helped, of course, that in the last seven years Jack had spent little time working in Sydney; she was impressed by his volume of work in both country doctors and with the Royal Flying Doctors.

And the fact he was extremely good looking didn't exactly hurt.

"It's among the finer pleasures in life," Jack said dryly. He didn't bother to check her left hand for a ring; in a hospital, and a town this small, everyone knew everyone's business. Karen Miller, twenty-seven, married at twenty-one, widowed at twenty-six, no children. He wondered what _she_ had heard about _him_.

"Thirty-five, never married, two brothers, one sister," Karen recited when she let Jack buy her a drink after their shift was finished. "It was all I could find in your personnel file."

Jack nodded slightly. He was used to things like his personnel file being up for grabs in towns like this. Between the ingrained interest in anyone new and the fact he wasn't exactly forthcoming with personal information, it made his personnel file the obvious solution. "What, you couldn't get anything out of Dan?" he quipped. He had never entirely forgotten how eager Dan had been to go blabbing to anyone he could find that he was the father of Charlotte's baby. But then, they had both gone through a _lot_ in the ten years since.

"I did. He wouldn't say anything other than you guys used to work together. You go a while back, don't you?" she asked.

"Longer than almost everyone else in our lives," Jack said ruefully. They had both gone through some serious tragedies in their lives, and run from them. "Dan didn't want anything to do with anyone from the hospital for a while," he said. "If I hadn't known personally that running away achieves nothing but isolating you, I would have let him cut ties with me."

"You knew his first wife?"

"Yeah. Great girl. The two of them together – I was so jealous of them. I mean, I like Sandy, but – "

"I know. Sometimes you... settle," she said, the word hanging heavily in the air. She and Dan had both been in their twenties when they had been widowed – she was younger than Dan had been at the time – plenty young enough to find someone new and start a family. That you didn't love them at much as you had your first spouse didn't meant that you _couldn't_ love them and love your life with him. Having the love of your life die didn't mean the end of _your_ life.

Neither did having them break your heart.

He looked at Karen with new understanding.

* * *

She was shorter than Gabrielle, and thinner. She was tiny compared to Gabrielle and part of him felt like he would hurt her. He grabbed her hips and lifted her onto the dresser, wedging his hand between her thighs in a motion to wrap her legs around his waist, which she did. In the past seven years, there had been a lot of women, a lot of casual acquaintances and arrangements, but ever since he had been with Gabrielle, he had quickly gotten used to the feel of her body and the newness of Karen's was slightly jarring – as well as intriguing. She smelled different, felt different... and he liked it. It gave him something to focus on and helped him to forget.

"What's her name?" Karen asked when she lay in his arms afterwards.

"Sorry?" Jack asked.

"The girl you're thinking about."

Jack felt the blood drain from his face. Karen chuckled when she saw it. "It's OK," she said. "I figured. I can't blame you." _It would make me a hypocrite_, was what they both knew she meant. "You can't choose you love... or how you handle losing them."

He kissed her lightly. "Thankyou," he said. No, he didn't feel about Karen the way he felt about Gabrielle – and probably never would – but there was something in being with someone who got that, because she felt the same way about someone else, that was refreshing. There was an honesty to it; he knew where he stood with her. Which was more than he had ever had with Gabrielle.

He stayed for another few hours and was drifting off to sleep when Karen nudged him awake. "You can't stay the night," she chided him gently. A combination of people talking – there was a huge gap in their minds between simply spending a few hours in the evening with her and spending the night with her – and not being ready to spend the night with anyone. That was fine with Jack. He wasn't sure he was ready to spend the night with someone other than Gabrielle, either.

Dan was waiting for him when he got home. "You out with Karen Miller?" he asked.

"What's your point?" Jack asked.

"Don't you think she's settling? Don't you think _you_ are?"

"You _really_ want to talk to me about settling, Dan?" Jack asked testily, looking pointedly at Dan's left hand. "Sorry. It's just... _nice_ to know where I stand with her. I don't love her and I'll never love her the way I did Gabrielle, and she'll never love me the way she did her husband... but I could be very fond of her and I _like_ that I understand that and know where I stand with her."

Dan nodded; it made sense. For as long as Dan could remember, Jack had been jerked around in his relationships. He could see the appeal in being with someone he could have an honest relationship with. "For what it's worth," he said. "I always thought you and Gabrielle had something special. I wish you guys could have worked out."

"Me, too."

* * *

"Gabrielle!" Dan said, surprised to see his – very – former boss on the doorstep. "It's, uh, been a while."

"Yeah," Gabrielle agreed. _Since Erica's funeral_. "Um, is Jack in?"

"How'd you find him?" Dan asked. "No-one knows where he is." Gabrielle explained and Dan nodded understandingly. "Bet Bec pitched a fit when you worked it out and she couldn't," he said.

"Having a husband of her own to be possessive over hasn't done anything to her possessiveness over him," Gabrielle said, and Dan smiled, for a moment lost in the past where Rebecca's Rowe's possessiveness had been the source of many a moment's amusement – particularly when it had come to Deanna Richardson.

"She always liked you," Dan mused. "It probably didn't seem like it, but Bec's idea of approving of any woman in Jack's life was _not_ to engineer to get her drunk and make an ass of herself. Making fun of your fashion sense behind your back was her idea of being downright gracious."

Gabrielle laughed at that. "She made fun of my fashion sense to my face," she said. "I think it was her idea of trying to do me a favour, but I was never going to be the tall, leggy, chic type. I got stuck at tall."

It was on the tip of Dan's tongue to say that that was what Jack had liked about her – in heels, she was almost the same height as him. Then he remembered how heartbroken Jack had been when he had come here, and that the stability that came with an honest relationship had done him wonders. "I don't think you should be here," Dan said.

"I need to see Jack," Gabrielle said with as much dignity as she could muster. She had forgotten how protective Dan could be of Jack – that terrible year when Patrick Wesley had come back into his life, Dan had worked himself into a shadow trying to make sure Jack was getting six hours sleep a night and getting his calories via food and not alcohol. Jack had returned the favour by following Dan around like a shadow in the weeks after Erica's death to make sure he didn't kill himself. They were close, and she knew she had to tread carefully if Dan thought she wasn't good for Jack.

"He's seeing someone else," Dan said flatly. "Someone who's good for him. Someone he can have an honest relationship with." That Karen didn't make him smile like Gabrielle did when times were good was a moot point; surely it was better to have honesty and stability in a relationship than careening between highs and lows when the person you loved didn't love you back? "And besides, he didn't want anyone to find him. If he had known you could work it out from the phone number, he never would have given it to Rebecca."

Gabrielle deflated visibly. "Oh," she said.

Dan suddenly felt deeply sorry for her. Clearly, something had happened that Gabrielle had come all this way, not to mention the people she must have canvassed to find out where Jack was. "For what it's worth," he said. "I always thought you were good for him. You had this way of not letting him get away with crap that made it too easy."

"You were just intimidated by his intelligence, and he knew it," Gabrielle informed him. It hadn't taken her long to realise that Jack used his phenomenal intellect against people when they tried to call him on his bad behaviour; he had this way of making people feel small and stupid and not going forward with their claims of his bad behaviour.

Dan smiled thinly. He could remember _plenty_ of times when Jack had gotten him to back down by spewing a whole lot of intellectual snobbery in his direction – and it had worked. But then, Gabrielle hadn't been the least bit phased by Frank's bluster, so why should she be phased by Jack's intellectual snobbery? "Why are you here?" he asked her. "I mean, really – why are you here? Don't you have a farm to run and a son to raise? Wasn't the exactly why Jack got fed up? That you weren't going to make him a priority?"

"I was wrong," Gabrielle said with simple dignity. "I thought Steve deserved to come first as Russel's father, but..." She found herself explaining to Dan about Michael Morgan and the Forlanos – people who had left All Saints months before Dan had stumbled in as an onlooker to an accident and be co-opted by Frank – and how it had finally made her understand that biological parents don't always deserve priority over step-parents, not when the biological parent is a dead-beat who only ever show an interest in their kids the odd time they remember, or when a rival shows more interest, not when the step-parent would have loved them unconditionally if only the child would have let them, if only they hadn't been corrupted by the jealous spite spewed forth from their father... "Steve lost any interest in me and Russel years ago – it was only that he couldn't stand the fact _Jack_ might be interested in us. So... here I am."

"Here you are." She was slightly older than him, Dan knew, and the fact she had been his boss had made him think of her as older than _that_, but right now, she seemed so young, trekking across the countryside – well, southern New South Wales counted as the countryside – for love. Well, at least it was a chance – Gabrielle pursuing Jack and all. "Look," Dan said. "He really is involved with someone else, but I don't think it's a big deal." He explained the basis of Jack and Karen's relationship was that they both knew where they stood with one another because they were both still in love with other people. "But she's good for him," Dan felt obliged to act when he saw the look of hope on Gabrielle's face. "He deserves to be with someone who can at least be honest with him... even if she won't put him first."

Gabrielle flinched at that. "I deserved that," she admitted quietly. When she thought about what she had put Jack through in her determination to put Steve first. "I miss him more than I thought I could... more than I did even when I stopped being friends with him. He's everything I ever wanted from a man... and it's taken me so long to see that."

"Eight years," Dan offered helpfully, Gabrielle looked even more chastised at that. "He's at the hospital." Dan gave her direction to it; not that it would be particularly hard to find as one of the few large buildings in this town.

"Thanks," she said. "Um, maybe the four of us could have dinner sometime?"

"I doubt it," Dan said good-naturedly. "If running a farm and working and raising kids is anything for you like it is for me, we're likely to never see you again."

"You have kids?" Gabrielle asked. Dan nodded and explained; two sons. "Wow," Gabrielle said. It was strange how the rest of the world moved on even when you were no longer a part of it; or in this case, when _you_ were no longer part of _their_ world. She should be used to it by now, with Charlotte and Jack, but she doubted she ever truly would be. Somehow, it was easy to think that people were waiting for you right where you left them.

She found the hospital easy enough. It was too small to warrant a triage, so she let herself in, and immediately spotted Jack. It wasn't hard. No matter how long he had spent in the country, he still dressed like a city boy. She smiled and lifted her hand to wave until her eyes took in the extra details. That woman he was sitting next to, that had to be Karen Miller. He had his hand on her shoulder, nothing too overt, but Gabrielle knew Jack wasn't one that affection came easy for, and since Dan had told her that he was involved with someone...

She was attractive, Gabrielle thought. And she'd clearly never had children – or maybe she was one of those women whose bodies bounced back like a brand-new elastic band after having kids, because she was roughly the same proportions as Kate Moss... when Kate Moss had been in her twenties. Dan had said they had an understanding with each other, that neither was about to fall in love, they looked pretty cosy to her. Gabrielle felt her heart lurch painfully, so much so that she could swear she could feel it drop in her stomach.

Jack seemed to be able to hear it too, because he jerked his head up suddenly. There was shock in his eyes; he had never expected to hear from her again. Gabrielle read the shock as resentment – he was moving on with his life, and now she had shown up, uninvited and unwelcome. Well, what had she expected? That life would stop? That he would be waiting for her to realise that he was the one for her? After he had been waiting for her years already?

She turned and ran out.

Jack sat, glued to his seat, unsure of what he was supposed to do. On the one hand, seeing Gabrielle here had brought all his feelings back in a rush that he'd never expected to feel again because he'd never expected to see her again. But on the other – how could he possibly go after her when his lover was next to him? Karen had shown him far more honesty than Gabrielle ever had, how could he turn around and chase after his ex?

"Is that her?" Karen asked. Jack nodded slightly. "Then what the hell are you doing? Go after her."

"Are you sure?" Jack asked.

Karen laughed at that. Jack was sweet, not wanting to hurt her feelings, but she had always known that while he was fond of her, he was never going to love her like he loved Gabrielle. And she had liked that about him, because it meant he didn't expect her to feel any different about her late husband. "Go," she said after she explained that to him. "Before _I_ have to go after her and make you look like an idiot for getting a woman to do all your impulsive romantic gestures for you."

So Jack ran after Gabrielle. "Hey, wait up!" he called after her. If she got to her car before he caught up with her, she would be out of his life again. _At least she can't disappear like I can_, Jack thought wryly. He wondered how Gabrielle had found him – no-one, not even Rebecca, knew where he was – then he remembered that Rebecca had Dan's number, and Gabrielle, who could recall every nurse who had worked under her and how to get in contact with her, would have recognised it.

Then it occurred to him that Gabrielle would have had to have gone asking around for him, and felt a surge of hope. Since she had gone to that effort, did this mean she had changed her mind about them? About putting Steve first? "Hey – _wait!_" he yelled at Gabrielle, grabbing her arm as she reached for her keys and slamming her against her car. "I told you to wait."

"Yeah, Jack, like I'm idiot enough to stand around looking like an idiot while you're all cosy with your new girlfriend," Gabrielle said. She felt her throat catch and tears threaten to come and she prayed that Jack would let her go and she could get into her car before she started to cry. Jack had moved on; she had left it too late.

Jack cupped her chin with his hand and forced her chin up so he could look directly into her eyes. "Are you _crying?_" he asked.

"No," she sniffled.

"Now you're crying _and_ lying through your teeth," he said, a slight smile playing on his face. Gabrielle was rarely cuter when frantically – and dismally – attempting to hide that she was upset. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I came to see you."

"I gathered that. I figured if you hadn't come to see Dan in seven years, you weren't about to start now. _Why_ did you come?"

There was a smile playing on his lips, and Gabrielle got the feeling he knew damn well why she had come – but wanted to hear her say it. "I came to say you were right," she said. "You had a right to be in a priority in my and Russel's life, but I kept clinging to this idea that Steve should always come first, if he ever _wanted _to. It didn't occur to me that he didn't have a right to come and go as he pleased and expect us to keep waiting for him – like I had no right to think that you would just keep waiting for me to realise that you were so much better a man than he is, and that biology doesn't mean shit when it comes to parenting... I should have learnt that from you," she added ruefully. "I should have – I should have – I should have done so many things. I should have told Steve where he could stick it when he told me not to be friends with you anymore. I should have told him if he wanted to see Russel after all this time, he could do it at a time that was convenient to you – and me. I should have told Russel that Steve was the reason we broke up. I should have told him that you're a far better dad than he is. I think he's beginning to realise that," she added, sniffling. "He misses you a lot, more than he'll admit, even to himself, I think."

"And what about you?" Jack asked.

"I miss you too," she admitted. "I know I've got no right to come here when you have a new job and a new girlfriend but I – I just wanted to tell you that you were right and I miss you and that if I could take it back and do things the way you wanted – "

She was cut off by Jack kissing her, pushing his body against hers, pushing her against her car. His kiss was hard and hungrily, and for a few seconds, she responded, just as hungry, before she pushed him away. "What about – that girl?" she asked.

"Karen? She – we understand each other," he said. "Her husband died two years ago and she's not ready to be involved with anyone on that level yet. She knew I was in love with someone else. It was... comfortable. Honest. She was the one who told me to follow you. Threatened to do it herself."

"Really?" Gabrielle asked disbelievingly. She couldn't see someone just giving up Jack like that.

Jack seemed to read her thoughts, and laughed. "You know what your problem is? You've never really loved someone like that." He saw Gabrielle was about to argue – after all, her and Steve's relationship spanned almost twenty years – and he put his finger over her mouth. "Your relationship was Steve was based on adolescent hero worship. You never loved him the way she loved her husband." _The way I love you_. "When you know what that is, you don't try and hold someone from that. I wouldn't have held onto her if the situation were reversed."

"Oh," Gabrielle said, the information slowly registering. He didn't love her – had been fond of her, maybe – but _didn't love her_. Not the way he loved her. He hadn't said so much, but – she knew that's what she meant.

"So where do you stand with Steve, then?" he asked. "I'm not coming back if we're going to go through the same shit all over again. I can't, Gabrielle," he said, and for the first time, she saw just how tired he was and how deeply heartbroken he had been to realise that she would never make him the priority he wanted to. At least, not at the time.

"He's always going to be a part of my and Russel's life – if he wants to be," Gabrielle said levelly. "But I don't think he'll want to be – not once he realises that trying to come between us won't actually achieve anything. I don't want us to be like the Forlanos. Max is never going to realise what a deadbeat Michael is, and I don't want that for us and Russel, him growing up thinking it's OK to behave badly because his dad said so. I want _you_ to be his dad – of you still want to be."

"Gabs, that's all I ever wanted," he said. "I'd have been his dad when he was first born if you wanted me to be."

"I know. And I'm sorry."

He smiled at her, for the first time seeing the honesty that he had craved from their relationship from the get go – all those years ago. Finally, she understood what her relationship with Steve was based on – the adolescent hero-worship of a selfish, irresponsible man. Finally, she got how perfect they were for each other, how much he loved her – and how much _she _loved _him_. "I know you are," he said, and he leaned in to kiss her. This kiss was a lot more gentle than the first one – there was less need to feel her body against his, to possess her like an animal. Now, it was enough just to know that he meant more to her than Steve did.

After a few minute of kissing against her car, Jack realised they were attracting a _lot_ of attention. After all, it wasn't often that a couple of strangers – albeit ones who knew Dan Goldman – blew into town and made out in public. "I should take you back to the Goldmans," he said. "You should meet Sandy. She's nice. She's good for Dan. And they named their son after me."

"Speaking of which – do you still want a baby?" she asked.

"Of course. I wasn't saying it out of some demented attempt to make you love me. I'm thirty-five. I want to be married and I want kids... and I want that with you. But I _don't_ want another Jack. I don't want my kids to feel like they have to follow in my footsteps. I like Ben. Or Rebecca."

"You've put some thought into this, haven't you?" she asked.

"Try seven years." And he wrapped his arm around her waist comfortable and guided her into the car. Funny how those seven years just melted away now that the wait was, finally, over.

* * *

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[G2]


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